5yo with her hands in her pants - help!

[YBR]

My 5yo DD is generally bright but we're having problems with wee accidents. School are on our case for this, particularly because she has a couple of times left a puddle on a chair and simply moved to another chair and said nothing. According to her teacher she was not bothered that another child sat in the puddle and was really upset.

Today the teacher spoke to me after pick up and DD has been seen masturbating. I've never seen it at home and am very shocked. I have to assume she's picked it up from other kids at school. I don't know what to do and it's really got me down. I guess if there's any more of this we'll have SS on our case as well.

Any suggestions?

Not a clue I'm afraid. My 5yo does it constantly. It thankfully never at school. She lies on the floor though so less easy to do in public! I just have to keep repeating that it's private and for bedrooms and bathrooms only. And repeat and repeat and repeat.

I don't think there's cause for concern, she just needs it drumming in that you don't touch your private parts in public.

Is she fiddling down there because she is uncomfortable? Could she have a urine infection?

If not and she is fiddling... I don't see why it should be taken any more seriously than a little boy fiddling. I'd be staggered to hear that being described as masturbation and do not think a little girl should be described as doing that either. That's sexualising a normal behaviour that is just not socially appropriate past a certain age.

The social aware aspect would bother me- that a five year old wouldn't be ashamed or bothered by wetting themselves or about leaving it to be found by another child. Then adding to that the fiddling... i would be concerned about a possible autism type lack of social awareness.

Hopefully you can get some answers.

Isadora Been checked fairly recently so not likely to be a urine infection. I'm slightly comforted by those of you saying it is normal, we'll try to work on what is private and what is acceptable in public.

I have to assume she's picked it up from other kids at school.

Why? All kids have curiosity about their bodies. You don't need to frame it as some shocking thing that she would never have got around to on her own.

As pp's say, she just needs to be made aware that people don't mess around with their private areas in public.

Whilst the fiddling is normal I wouldn't say the peeing and leaving it in a seemingly oblivious fashion is... not at 5.