Do you ever spend time with your nanny?

[catlike1979]

DS is 14 months old and I have until now been on maternity looking after him full time. I work freelance and so haven't had a set return to work date but feel it is the right time for me to start doing some work days now.

I've been suffering from anxiety and PND and whilst this is definitely getting better, I think that getting back to working will help more.

I'd like to work 2 days ideally and spend the other 3 days of the week with DS. My very supportive DH would like us to get a nanny for 3 days per week, meaning I would spend 1 day per week at home whilst the nanny is there. He feels that it would give me a bit of breathing space.

Whilst I can appreciate how lovely this would be in some ways, in others it seems a bit frivolous and also wouldn't it be a bit weird both me AND the nanny hanging out at home looking after DS? A bit like too many cooks and all that?

Does anyone else have a nanny looking after their DC whilst they are not at work themselves, if so how do you find it works?

Hi catlike, yes I do - I have one day a week at home while DS is with a nanny & like you I was more than a little unsure as to how that would work. In actual fact it's worked out amazingly well. In our case, I am a SAHM but my health isn't always 100% (I have a history of chronic fatigue, and need to be a little bit careful in order to stay well). Having one day a week to get stuff done, exercise, cook a couple of meals for the week etc, means that I can relax most evenings for an hour or so, plus go to bed early - so I get enough rest to keep me going. DH works a lot of weekends as well as long hours during the week, so he often can't help out, and our solution has been our lovely nanny. After more than a year it still feels frivolous to me but I am extraordinarily grateful that we can do it, as it really does make the difference for me between coping and not.
As to how it works in practice - our nanny takes DS out a lot to meet friends, so mostly they're not in the house, but when they are I tend to stay out of their way and cede to her. (He runs in to see me sometimes if I'm in the office or kitchen, and we have a quick cuddle or chat, but then he heads back out to her.) It's his day with her and she's in charge, I don't intervene as I completely trust her. We get on well personally and have a very relaxed, friendly relationship. She also babysits very occasionally and then will usually stay overnight to save her a late-night trip home. She adores DS - to the extent that, when her other job ended, she went to the trouble of searching out a new one that still allowed her to do the one day a week with him - and he adores her in return. It is a massive privilege to have her and she's honestly a part of our family now, we're so delighted that it's worked out so well and it has allowed us to continue to function well as a family.
Hope that helps - and that you continue to feel better, whatever you decide to do x

We didn't specifically set out to but our last nanny was like a big sister who stayed past working hours chatting and playing. My two youngest girls were her bridesmaids a couple of years back and one of my girls is Godmother to her children. She's part of the family still and pops over for a coffee with me still.
Our previous mothers help virtually lived at our house. She'd come to see us on her days off, stay for supper and help with bedtime just because she wanted to.

I have done for the last 6 months as my health was poor after the birth of my second child, and I needed extra help. It was really hard at first. I had looked forward to spending more time with my older child while getting to know the baby. I had to let that idea go, but we took turns so that I had solo time with both children, and now that I'm healed and looking towards a return to work there is the added bonus that the children are both very relaxed in her care already .

We tend not to do too much "we're both in charge time" now. If I have both kids then she can get on with cooking or ironing the kids clothes. Or sometimes I cook or iron and she has both of them. Whatever needs doing really.

Do you know your nanny already? You'll know very quickly if it's the right match.

I think most nannies freak out at the idea of having a job where either parent (usually the mom) is at home. If you are lucky though, you might find one who doesn't mind this. I just don't see the point of both of you hovering over one child.

Nannies hate this

Most of the time I work so no. But occasionally I have a day off as I work in education. Usually if she's there I will do some work or take time to do some organisation/re-organisation or home based projects. But can't lie. I have a lie in as well. My nanny is a mother herself, she knows how it is. She only works half days so I don't feel too bad.