Dreading going back to work

[Beansprout30]

Not sure if this is the correct board to post in but as my maternity leave is coming to an end, I'm finding myself getting incredibly sad that im going back to work and leaving my beautiful dd.

I know these feelings are normal but it feels like a dream is coming to end, maternity leave has been amazing even the sleepless nights and new baby blues etc.

Any words of positivity?

I'm sorry you are feeling this way.

How old is your DD? Did you enjoy your job, who will have her when you're working? Is any of that causing you concern?

It does get easier and sometimes you realise you want different things. I was so miserable leaving DD1 when I went back full time, however I would have made a huge mistake (for me) if I'd left to be a SAHM. I found a balance of working hours that I was happy with, it just takes a bit of time.

THey need you all the way through and life's always a balance between keeping the finances in good shape and spending time with your children. I know that if I didn't work, we wouldn't have nearly as much fun due to constrained income and I'd have much less to offer the dc in terms of their entire lives.

Thanks, she will be 9 months and will be staying with my mum and nursery. I'm lucky enough to only have to go back four days, I know some people have to go full time it just upsets me to think I'm going to miss out on so much.

I did like my job but since I've been gone my replacement has made things awkward but that's another story

This what me last year. I felt so sad, that all the bonding we did was going to go out the window, feared she would become more attached to grandparents than me etc. everyone kept telling me that it wouldn't be as bad as I thought and I would enjoy the freedom, being around adults more, using my brain more etc. I thought yeah right. They were right, absolutely. When they are 12 months etc they are easy, they get to the 2 year region they do become increasingly hard work, and I enjoy working as it gives me all of the things above that everyone told me about and it breaks my time up a bit. I work 3 days a week. I feel more in touch with the real world and am not just a woman who wipes down surfaces, cleans, wishes, sings baby songs, plays with blocks and all the rest of it. I am a woman who uses her noggin and makes a difference to a business. That might sound patronising but when you're purely a stay at home mum you do become a bit detached he from the world.

My dd went through a phase of not really looking at me or smiling when I picked her up from grandparents or nursery, it really broke my heart! I looked forward to seeing her all day and then she didn't even bat an eyelid when got home. I took it personal but soon realised that it was her age and it was totally normal. Now she is ecstatic when I walk through the door, it is so rewarding, so just bear that in mind for tHe first few months, that she may not be phased when you collect her. If you speak with some mummy friends they would tell you the same.

I felt nervous about going back to work as I felt a completely different person - I was now a Mummy and the 10months off had felt a (great!) lifetime. The first week at work was tough (so many chances had happened at work), but now I absolutely LOVE it. What immediately helped me feel ok at work was seeing how happy my DS was at nursery and with his grandparents, he loved (loves) it so that then meant my feelings were just about me. He was fine and if anything as time has gone on I'm seeing how beneficial it's been for DS to attend nursery and not stay at home with me all the time.

When time comes to go back to work (now pg with my 2nd) I will do some 'Keeping in Touch' days at work in the weeks leading up to my return, maybe one day a week. I never did this first time but can't recommend it enough. It means that by the time you walk into work on your first proper day back you'll know all the new faces, you'll know where you're sitting - if changed - and other than maybe feeling a bit wobbly (completely normal) you'll at least know that your DC is safe in his childcare and you are secure in your workplace.
And then the hometime hug when you see your DC is MAGICAL!
Best of luck x

I felt the same as you. I hated my job before I went on mat leave, I thought something would come along, like a miraculous job offer or a lottery win that meant I wouldn't have to go back, so it was a bit of shock when a year was up and I was suddenly back at work.

However, now I've been back a while it is a lot easier. I work 3 days which is a great balance for us, and I don't actually think I could have been a sahm, despite wishing for it all the way through mat leave. I sometimes find my days off with DS more exhausting than being in work and it's nice to have the variety and speak to adults about things not child related.

You will be fine, just give it a bit of time.

I emphasise completely, mine was 9 months when I went back to work too and it was hard - I adored maternity leave and had breastfed with no family living nearby so had never left her more than a few hours at a time. Work was more distracting than I expected it to be and she has thrived at nursery, it did take a bit of getting used to but in the end it's been brilliant for both of us. And the cuddles when you collect from nursery are the best thing ever!

You're all absolutely right, I'm sure dd will thrive at nursery and have much fun with nanny. I know it's the right thing for me to go back, just can't believe how quick its come round and what a life changing nine months it's been.

I do feel almost like I have a new confidence in a way going back to work after bringing a baby into this world. I feel like I will be able to deal with things I might not have had the guts to pre baby - I guess because I see the world through different eyes these days and no what is important in my life