Extremely bad behaviour ticket

[Turefu]

My son is in reception and is well settled there. Today DH collected him from school and teacher told him son received "extremely bad behaviour ticket" . He bit boy from year above, who pushed him. Three tickets result in exclusion from school. It seems to me too harsh punishment for four years old. What child supposed to do in situation like that? I'm not sure , what to do, how to react.

I would just speak to your DS and remind him that biting is not acceptable. He should've told the teacher about the pushing rather than retaliating. Difficult when you're only 4 I know.
I wouldn't do anthing else, it's been dealt with at school according to their behaviour policy.

So if your child had been bitten after shoving someone you would just say "oh ok"? At four years old it shouldn't even enter a child's head to bite someone. I understand your son was upset that he was pushed (and hopefully the older boy was also handed a ticket?) but this punishment is not too harsh at all. I would make sure he understands what the ticket means and why he has it. Then explain that in that kind of situation he should immediately find an adult in school and tell them.

The ticket sounds appropriate given your son bit another child. It gives both him and his peers a clear message that biting is unacceptable, and that aggressive/bad behaviour is punishable.

I would have accepted that punishment as suitable for my children had they done this at any stage of primary.

Biting is far more serious than pushing. I don't think this punishment was too harsh.

Reiterate to your son that he was wrong to bite, regardless of what the other child did.

There is nothing else you need to do wrt the school, they have communicated with you that their known behaviour policy has been followed. They would expect you to understand and support their action.

No, I wouldn't and I'm not saying he should not have been punished. I just think is too harsh , if three tickets like that result in exclusion. I don't know if other boy got a ticket too. I'm surprised actually , as nothing like that has happened before, biting. He's usually well behaved child and teacher said they didn't think it'll happen again.

Btw, I should think they mean temporary exclusion (half day, day, three days, week, etc depending on severity and history).

I imagine they only give out the tickets If they feel it's justified. If this was a one off, out of character incident he will not receive another ticket.

I'd just like to point out that my three DC are perfect and have never put a foot wrong. In my dreams! Its upseting, embarassing, dissapointing when its one of our own who are having their moment in the spot light as 'that' child. Maybe see if you can focus energies on moving forwards rather than the understandable protective mum seeing if any of the emotion can be deflected.

Your son needs strategies and fast. I'm a big fan of the top of your voice shout 'Don't do that its not nice'. Its not likely to be punishable like punching back and also helps to raise awareness of others i.e. adults, that something is going olik

Perhaps they did. DH talked already to him and told him biting is naughty. It's still reception and he's my only child, so I'm not familiar with all school procedures yet. Hopefully he'll behave now. Thank you for replies.

Of course it was justified. There's no way a school child should be excused having bitten another child with a "ah, he's only four...".
Four year old's should know not to bite

That seems a bit excessive for four - while I know four year olds should know better many struggle when put under pressure.

I would have preferred to have a talk with the teachers before a formal warning was given.

He should absolutely face consequences but that seems excessive and something that he wouldn't grasp

If he bites on three occasions then he will have a fixed term exclusion. This does not seem harsh. The behaviour ticket is just a very clear representing of how serious this issue is.

It doesn't really matter if he doesn't grasp what the exact consequences should be, Schnitzel?
All he needs to know is that the biting shouldn't be repeated. And if it is repeated, twice, of course there are going to be consequences, whether the 4 year old could see them coming or not.

Exclusion doesn't mean he will be flung into the gutter and never allowed an education again, OP. Most likely it means internal exclusion: so if he gets to that stage he will have to work quietly in a special room for a few days.