Grandparents having the children

[dontcallmeduck]

How often do you allow the children to stay at their grandparents? I have 2 children ages 3&5 and my parents live nearby but in laws are 2.5hours away. The children very very rarely stay at my parents and only if necessary such as we're away at an event or working extremely early and they're doing the childcare the next day. They've had them for 2 nights in the last year. In laws however want them for a week at a time in summer and some half terms but I miss my children terribly and they aren't particularly nice to my eldest, quite impatient with him and negative about his behaviour so he comes back extremely clingy and emotionally needy. It's not like we need them to go for childcare but I also don't want to stop them seeing them. I think as I was brought up never being away from my parents for more than a night I don't understand why they need to be away so long.

2.5 hours isn't that far away they don't need to spend a week there just to sleep over. If they're going to visit you could drive them down in the morning and pick them up tea time next day or even stay over with them. I appreciate that is 10 hrs driving in 2 days for you or your dh which is a lot, could they drive half way to meet you to hand over?
Don't feel as though you have to send your children away for a week or even over night for that matter. Could they not come to you to see the children instead?
Given the distance it's reasonable that you would use your parents more often for sleep overs. My older dc have regular sleep overs at both GP but that's more through their choice (they are 10 & 7) rather than for child care. Youngest dc (2) probably stays over around every other month

DS1 is 13 and has never stayed at my Mom's. She comes here and we go there and they see plenty of each other.
He has stayed over with MIL, but that was his choice. He stayed for the first time when he was about 6. He's also been away for a week (UK break) with Pil but only because he wanted to go.
Do your children want to stay over? I wouldn't be sending them just because Pil want them.

Your ILs can want the children for a week at a time. Doesn't mean they get them. Holidays are your family time as well.

My ds (11) does a two night sleepover with his grandma (my MIL) in the summer - I am usually nearby but use it as a chance to work in London without having to hoof it from Yorkshire. He's only done that for the last few years and he loves it. He doesn't stay with my parents - they do day trips with the grandchildren who are nearer to them but would find having them overnight too knackering. I suspect your ILs do as well. Your DH needs to say no next time they "ask".