Help! Chicken pox, colds/ flu and 9 week old

[Ineedacupofteadesperately]

I think DD has chicken pox (she has about 6 itchy spots and half her class has had it) although she doesn't feel bad. DH has a fever and horrid cold like symptoms. He's been in our bedroom (where our baby - 9 weeks old) sleeps all day sneezing. Baby and I had a cold last week so assumed DH had same but seems it is something more. Basically I'm terrified baby will get chicken pox and flu and be seriously ill. What can I do, anything?

Plus DH slept in with DD last night (she has been waking up with nightmares since the baby was born) so she could get chicken pox and flu too.

I'm barely coping as the baby isn't sleeping well (and DH and I not getting on). I feel so scared and like I just don't know what to do. Should I take baby and co-sleep in the spare room or not? I just don't know what to do (no family support or close friends nearby, we haven't lived here long). I really hope I don't get anything else (have had a permanent sore throat for 2 weeks but did have flu jab while pregnant). Any advice on if there is anything I can do to get through this and protect the baby and DD as well?

Are you breastfeeding? That can confer some immunity from chicken pox but it's infallible.

Personally, I think where possible you should try and avoid direct contact between the children. Your baby would be very unlikely to get it from your dh or you, if you've both had it. But chicken pox is contagious before the spots so am aware that this might be like bolting the stable door once the horse has bolted, avoiding direct contact. At the same time now you know your older DC has it it wouldn't be unreasonable to try and take precautions to protect the baby if possible.

Leaving aside that your dh won't pass on chicken pox, if he's ill it would be a good idea to try and sleep separately while he may be brewing a bug.

Yes. am breastfeeding.

Should I try and cosleep in the spare room? DH has been sneezing in our bedroom for at least several hours. I don't have clean sheets but could change the pillow cases, Wish I'd had him sleep separately but he always thinks I'm a head case about hygiene so. thinking it was just a cold, let him stay. I am really terrified - this baby came after 4 miscarriages and many years of infertility so am quite anxious in general about her (although she came on time and was a good weight).

You should be passing on lots of antibodies then. But if your do is feeling rough and coughing and spluttering you may all get better sleep separately.

Great for soothing chicken pox - oats tied up in an old clean sock and put under the tap when running a bath, and left to soak. Squeeze the gunk out onto the skin. It's ace.

Thanks pooka that's a great tip. I suppose there's not a lot I can do now since they've both presumably been contagious for a few days at least. Fingers crossed we get through this.....

Sorry to hear about this. But don't panic- lack of sleep always makes things feel a million times worse!
If you have had chickenpox yourself, then I believe chances are that baby still has inherited immunity. See here www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/939.aspx?CategoryID=54
So while no one can be definite- and I am not medically qualified- I do know of at least two households where the older siblings went down with chickenpox and the newborn did not catch it. Both put it down to inherited immunity.
As for the heavy cold- and it is not flu yet right?- maybe it is the same one you and baby had last week? That would be great as you wouldn't catch it again.
My biggest concern is that you will stress yourself out worrying and arguing and freaking out about all this illness. So what about you take off to the spare room anyway, just because it makes you feel like you are doing something, and DH probably will just be annoying all night so at least you are both out of his way a bit.

Illness in a house with a small baby really is rubbish, you have enough on your plate without this so do look after yourself, I hope you have a decent night.

OP, I really feel for you. I have a 2 year old and a 6 month old and have had a lot of anxieties about the baby getting ill (especially in the very early months when sleep was very much not forthcoming).

As previously said, I actually only know 1 breastfed baby (out of many!) who has contracted chicken pox from a sibling, so hopefully yours will be ok. I'd definitely advocate baby wearing for the next while.

As to the cold/flu, can you move the baby's crib/basket to the spare room (or co sleep of course if that's what you usually do) just until he feels better. Hopefully it is the same as you had, but it may have just hit your DH harder.

Be kind to yourself, the early days are very tough, but they pass. I promise. I also find it much more stressful worrying about them getting ill (we had a CP scare here too, and I stressed for weeks about it) than actually being ill, if you know what I mean...

Thank you so much for your messages. DH has gone to the spare room and I've covered the bed with a loose sheet even though we had no fresh fitted ones and changed pillows and put new blankets on. So, even though he was in here hopefully the exposure will be minimal (and of course he was holding the baby before he fell ill so we've been exposed anyway). I think this is better as we don't co sleep normally (although might get to that if the lack of sleep sgoes on like it has!) and it would be difficult to move the bedside cot as it's up a windy staircase and the spare bed is a different height. 'D'H and I have just had a row. The baby has already strained our marriage and this is straining it more, so your messages mean more than you'll probably ever know because not only am I feeling stressed about both DD and baby's health, I also feel very isolated. 'D'H has been behaving like a spoilt child, in my opinon. He seems to care far more about himself than his DC ffs and is interested in petty point scoring with me. I get he feels rotten, and I feel bad for him, but my main concern when I had flu last year (before I got pregnant thankfully) was to avoid giving it to DD and I just don't understand why he doesn't feel the same.

your DH may well just have the same cold you and the baby have had its just that it's manifesting itself differently in him.

Thanks again everyone. DH stropped off to bed about 2 hours ago. DD has FINALLY gone to sleep after ages and ages (although I'm pretty sure she has the pox she really doesn't feel bad at all, if a bit itchy, and was upset that she didn't get her normal bedtime stories so took ages to go to sleep - kept up getting up and asking me to go in - DH was too ill to do bedtime stories and the baby was crying-feeding-crying for about 2 hours with intermittent periods where I'd try and put her down and go in with DD for a bit, then handwash and back to a crying baby). I'm bloody exhausted. How single parents do this with more than one child I don't know. I'd like to know their tips!

Youngest had chicken pox at about four weeks - three spots total but other five were smothered. Household just returning to normal post spotty era about two months down the line when she got it again but with many more spots. Babies do get conferred immunity from breast milk. Chicken pox is rarely serious even in very young. When complications occur it can be horrid but newborns aren't at more risk of this than toddlers.

Was just coming in to say similar to crumbs- a friends baby got it whilst young and bf and had about three spots and wasn't itchy. She was warned it may mean he gets it again later, but she was relieved it was so mild whilst he was young.

Sorry things are tough. Everything seems so awful with lack of sleep so I hope you all feel better tomorrow. Congratulations on your beautiful baby!

Thanks so much. DH's fever is actually higher today. Just wish he hadn't gone in with DD the first night he was ill. Well, he's in the spare room now and not coming out (except to pee) until he's better. Baby had an ok ish night, I got about 5 hours in 1-2.5 hour chunks which isn't too bad! Off to the doctor to confirm DD has chicken pox, she still only has about 10 spots and seems fine so if it's not cp I want to send her to school and out of the house away from the baby and DH. If it is only a mild case she'll be delighted to learn that she gets to watch cbeebies in her room on the ipad in an unrestricted way for the next few days! She'll be so bored, but I'll happily put up with the whining if she stays well.

This is the first time DH has been ill with a fever in as long as I can remember. He didn't get the flu jab this year - whereas both DD and I have had it so let's hope it offers some protection....

DD1 currently has chicken pox and I'm still bf 10mo DD2 who at the moment seems fine, so fingers crossed.

In terms of acquired immunity, EBF DD1 was exposed to measles by her DSS at 4 days old and was fine (I've had measles, and three MMRs!) and at 5 weeks DD2 was exposed to Scarlet Fever by DD1 - DH and I got ill but the baby was fine. I can only assume that my antibodies went straight through in my milk and helped her fight off any infection.

We did an oaty bath yesterday which seemed to help a lot for the itching, and have calamine cream coming today. DD1 seemed fine until she was sleeping and then deteriorated rapidly. I hope your DD doesn't suffer too much.

DS had chickenpox a few weeks ago at 4 months. Caught it off DD. He's breastfeed and I had it as a kid, so don't rely on that. He was covered and miserable. But oat and bicarb in the bath, lots of calpol, and poxclin mousse helped a lot. I hope your baby doesn't catch it, but if he does those tips might help!

Thanks designed. It's just waiting and watching now. DH is very ill - might be flu. Just hoping none of the rest of us catch that. Trying not to get stressed as obviously that won't help.

Hi, I had Shingles (chicken pox virus) when DD was 2 weeks old, and didn't realise what it was for the first few days. I was absolutely amazed that DD didn't catch it from me, but was breastfeeding and so somehow she must have got temporary immunity.

She DID then catch Chicken Pox when DH had shingles 8 months later, so the immunity was only temporary.

Hope you're all ok soon.

to you for coping with it all.

This reminds me of my poor sister. Sister, her DH and DS1 (age 4) were all ill with flu, when DS2 (age 3) went down with Chicken Pox. A few days later, everyone still ill and struggling to cope, when DS1 started tummy pains and being sick. Ended up with burst appendix, complicated surgery, and the isolation at the hospital, whilst they carefully watched for him to come out in Chicken Pox.

My DS is 12 weeks. Since he was born my husband has had tonsillitis, viral bronchitis, a throat infection and numerous colds. While none of these have been his fault it has been v frustrating as he wasn't able to do anything else. If I'd been ill I'd still have carried on.
My DD is three and I'm terrified of her getting chicken pox while DS is small.

DH and I both got flu the same day DD came out in chickenpox. It was rough. Lots and lots of CBeebies and online shopping saved us! And onesies for DD so she couldn't scratch.