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Original poster

How to get out of house with 4 week old

58 replies

Bex134 · 14/02/2017 17:50

Hi everyone
I have a 4 week old- and feeling a little house bound. At the moment I can't shower until 1.30pm when DS has a decent nap. Naps before this are on me as he isn't settling in his crib in the morning and he wakes at 5.30 and doesnt really settle after. My husband leaves the house at 7am- should I get up and shower before he leaves.. any other thoughts?? Would love to be showered by 10am is this realistic?? Bx

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OutnumberedbyFurchesters · 14/02/2017 17:52

Can you shower at night when DH is home? :)

Settle him in bouncer chair in bathroom? Where you can see him? You get mega good at 1min showers, or just washing hair to freshen up.

emsyj37 · 14/02/2017 17:54

Bouncy chair or swing in bathroom. This is what I do with DS when DH is away as I have to do the school run in the mornings so we are out by 8.20am.

smilingsarahb · 14/02/2017 17:54

Bless you. I used to shower with my child either in a bouncy chair on the bathroom floor, or in the moses basket so I could see him. I didn't wait for a nap. I think he used to cry sometimes at the start but he was safe and I didn't shower for long.

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wobblywonderwoman · 14/02/2017 17:54

Congrats on your baby !! Still very early days. I used to have my bath or shower when dh got home from work and had an east to maintain hairstyle.

In the mornings I just had a wash and some quick make up.

But if you awake from half five and are a morning shower person then maybe have one at 6.45 as at least you are guaranteed to have one.

Sittinginthesun · 14/02/2017 17:55

I honestly would stay with your baby's routine for now. No way would I try and shower before 7am!

Can you get out each afternoon for a walk/trip out?

In a few (maybe even couple) of weeks, you'll find it probably all changes again anyway.

thegoodnameshadgone · 14/02/2017 18:00

I bouncer in the bathroom and I bought a sling so they literally did everything I normally did with me. Then free they were older turned them front facing.

plimsolls · 14/02/2017 18:01

Agree with PP that everything changes so frequently when they are little.

Doesn't solve all your issues but I do find that it helps if I aim to get myself washed and dressed before the baby. So, as soon as she has had a morning feed, I jump in the shower and then get dressed. I don't change her nappy or get her dressed until I am. I just find that if I start trying to sort her out, I get locked in a seemingly endless cycle of her needs whereas I can get myself sorted in about 15 minutes as long as I prioritise doing it first.

bonbonours · 14/02/2017 18:03

You don't need to shower every day. A 4 week old is realistically easier to go out with than an older baby so make yourself do it. (I know it doesn't feel that way but just go for it) nobody cares what your hair looks like just go for a walk with the buggy. The more you do it the easier it gets.

Original poster

Bex134 · 14/02/2017 18:31

Thanks for your thoughts- I feel really stinky after night feeds and still bleeding so still need quick rinse. I no longer dry my hair and makeup is now eyeliner alone - how things change!

Is the idea of having the bouncer chair in shower so baby can see me or me to see him?

OP posts:

mimiholls · 14/02/2017 18:42

Yep bouncy chair in bathroom. You can get used to doing a shower in under 2 minutes easily! Definitely don't get up early.

BendingSpoons · 14/02/2017 18:47

If bouncy chair is in the bathroom, he can see you, you can talk to him if upset and he can hear the running water, which is often soothing.

Heirhelp · 14/02/2017 18:57

I still shower before bed and I have a 9 month old. But at that stage I still needed a shower in the morning. Would just a strip wash in the morning help?

Co lab dry hair shampoo from Superdrug is amazing!

AssassinatedBeauty · 14/02/2017 19:08

As the other posters have said, bouncer in the bathroom is the way to go for morning showers. 99 times out of 100 my baby is fine with this and if not then I sing like a loon and try and get out as quick as I can.

Once you're up and showered/dressed then getting out of the house in the morning should be doable. This is probably an obvious tip, but I always check the change bag of an evening and make sure it's ready for the next day. Then you can just grab it and go.

Beansprout30 · 14/02/2017 19:55

My dd would fall asleep in her chair in the bathroom while I showered at that age, the water running sent her to sleep so was able to take a nice relaxing one after she'd fed

Original poster

Bex134 · 14/02/2017 20:05

That would be a nice surprise beansprout! I imagine you have lovely long showers then and have a brill excuse!

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meeerkat · 14/02/2017 20:13

I look back on my daughters newborn days and I feel that I wasted so much time sat around the house desperately trying to get myself ready and failing miserably.

I used to pussyfoot around holding her and cradling her till she fell asleep, then sat there while she slept on me. Then she would wake up and need constant holding and attention again, I would be no further along getting myself ready!

I would get a bouncer chair and stick it in the bathroom and have your shower when you want one.

Ok you don't need one every day, but if I don't have one I feel clammy, unclean and not properly awake. I feel I can't function properly if I haven't had a shower.

If the baby cries, they cry, 2-3 minutes while you stick some shampoo on your head and swish a flannel and soap around isn't going to cause them any trauma. Especially if they can see you I showering from the bouncer chair.

Once you are showered and dressed, there's nothing stopping you!

Always have your changing back stocked up. Never use supplies from it when in the house, so you can leave at a moments notice without worrying about grabbing nappies/cloths etc.

I think the key is just walking out of the house as soon as you are both ready. Leave the mess, dishes, washing etc, just leave the house and deal with the house later. I used to faff about tidying etc then she would poo or cry and I would be stuck in even longer dealing with whatever came up!

toomuchfaster · 14/02/2017 20:14

Definitely pack changing bag the night before, or even when you get in earlier. It's so much easier as you know what you need and it gets any wet/dirty clothes straight in the wash when they stand a better chance of getting clean.

Original poster

Bex134 · 14/02/2017 20:19

Meerkat you've described my day down to a t! When you look back what would you do differently?

OP posts:

ButtMuncher · 14/02/2017 20:24

Same Meerkat! I always used to try and wait until my DS napped, except even to this day (5 mths) he only really naps for 30-45 mins at any one time. So I started taking him in the bathroom with me, in his bouncer with TV on YouTube just in case.

It does get easier as they get a bit older as they can entertain themselves for small periods of time - usually 20 mins with my DS and after that he needs entertaining or a cuddle/change etc. In the very early days I didn't get out a lot at all because I was trying too hard to get him to nap/settle and got myself really worked up that he wouldn't. I'd have very early morning showers but end up stinking of milk and sweat by the end of the day. And I still never got out of the house anyway

LexieLulu · 14/02/2017 20:28

I always had a shower with my baby in a bouncer in the bathroom. Keep peeping your head out of the curtain and they give you beautiful smiles. Also put a little music on, sing along... even if you're not a great singer, your little one idolises you and loves your voice.

Don't set time deadlines, listen to your baby and just make it an aim for at some point of the day to have left the house. Some days it will be 10am, others it will be 4pm.

Have them facing you in the pram and talk to them often. You'll be surprised how much talking to them from a young age will encourage speech.

Have fun, don't make it forced. Some days, best thing for everyone is to have a day at home xx

Redkite10a · 14/02/2017 20:30

I found it almost impossible to get a shower with DC1. With DC2 I've had to just get on with it first thing while DC1 is entertained with the TV, and actually despite her being a much more difficult baby I've had no trouble getting a shower. I prop her up on the floor on a feeding pillow with padding under her (the bouncy chair is needed more downstairs). I shower just after she has fed so I know that if she mutters it isn't because she is hungry. Like others have said, she seems to like the sound of the shower - she can be muttering but shuts up when I put her down and turn the shower on.

newmumwithquestions · 14/02/2017 20:35

Accept that your baby will have to cry sometimes and that doesn't make you a bad mother. Then start putting them down for a few minutes at a time whilst you do whatever you have to. I agree with having a bouncer in the bathroom (or kitchen, or wherever it is you need to do a job). Then put your baby into it, talking to him all the time. He will cry, it will be awful. Then after a week youll realise he doesn't cry any more when he hears the noise of the shower as he knows what is happening.
With DD1 it took me 6 weeks before I took the plunge (no pun intended) and put her down so I could have a shower. With DD2 I did it from the start, more frequently and for longer - juggling 2 meant I had to. DD2 has not suffered as a result - shes a happier well adjusted little toddler (much happier than DD1 is!)

meeerkat · 14/02/2017 20:48

I used to stay in bed as late as possible while she slept a bit longer after her first feed of the day (around 5am). So often I would stay in bed till half 7ish when she would wake up properly for the day.

What I should have done (and eventually did once I realised the sense it made) is given up the extra hour or two in bed where I usually didn't even fall back to sleep properly anyway.

I should have laid her back down in the crib to sleep, got straight in the shower, got dressed and ate breakfast in peace with a coffee. DH would still be around during that time too, so if she woke before I was 'ready' he could take her. I could also put a wash load in, wash the dishes, general tidying etc. Once I got wise to it, it became the most productive couple of hours of the day!

At first I was actually getting up at half 7, waving DH off to work within minutes and being left all bedraggled, unshowered, hungry and not knowing where to start! And baby was then fully awake and ready for the relentless cycle of milk/nappy/cuddle/sleeponme/milk/nappy/cuddle/sleeponme/milk/nappy/cuddle/sleeponme/ !!!

So in short, I would give up sleeping in longer and instead get my arse in gear. Although I might be more tired, I would be tired anyway, so I might as well get myself ready to face the day.

I think sleep becomes such a big deal with a baby, I felt like I was an idiot not to take an opportunity to sleep, but sometimes a shower, food and a coffee is just as important!

I used to hate it when friends would pop round unexpectedly, or I would get a text inviting me somewhere, and I would be sat on the sofa still in pjs nowhere near ready to leave the house. I often didn't take people up on last minute plans because the thought of trying to leave the house was too overwhelming.

I would also find out about local baby groups, see what days your friends or close family are usually free, give yourself a reason to have to get ready. Every Sunday night, make plans for the week ahead. Even if it's only an hour or two per day, it's a plan and a reason to get ready to go out.

Original poster

Bex134 · 14/02/2017 23:32

Thanks meerkat and others. I have a few things to try there- I'll have to find extra motivation first thing to get going. It totally makes sense but I know my body will want to keep lying there in the morning.

OP posts:

Inneedofaholiday2017 · 14/02/2017 23:44

I remember clearly the battle to get out of the house before it went dark outside at 4pm (I had a winter baby)....

leave pram and nappy bag all set up in hall/entrance. Have food/nappies/change of clothes needed for a whole day out in it
get up with baby - feed her then feed yourself (get hubby to leave you breakfast or make you a cup of tea)
put her in bouncer/Moses basket or bassinet and have shower with her in bathroom or just outside
dress in your' go to ' clothes - a basic wardrobe good don't think about what you are wearing too much. Get your husband used to doing the laundry so you've always clean clothes
minimal makeup, tie up wet hair or don't wash hair
adjust expectations - everyone struggles to get out of house with a new baba!

Enjoy snuggles at home! As they get older it gets easier...

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