DS says he lost me when DD was born

[Carrotpuree]

My 4yr old DS last night told DH that he felt he'd lost me as his Mum since Dd arrived, now 1.
I knew he has found it difficult- going from being centre of our attention to sharing, and DD is still very demanding- but I really thought he & I were building our bond back, just a little a day. Am so upset he feels this sad. I'm very aware that he copies the baby's behaviour to get my attention & tell him all the time I love my big guy as he is but it's obviously not reassuring him.
Any advice?

That is just heartbreaking

Do you try and involve him? Do things just you and him?

Do you do anything just him and you?

I can remember saying that to my mum when my sister was born. It's honestly all fine now, it's good for children to share a parent with siblings I think.

I try to, at weekends he really clings to DH. They've always been very close, I used to feel quite left out before. I suppose I just let that grow further once DD was born, I need to put foot down and start creating Mummy & DS time

You need to do things with just him. Whole days out, special dinners, let him sleep in your bed. The other day me and dd1 did cinema, lunch out, ice cream then shopping to buy her a little present. All stuff a big girl can do but a baby can't. Obviously it's hard when the baby is a newborn but at 1 they'll be fine with someone else for the day.

I have a similar age gap and it is still all been about dd1. The baby is "our" baby. Dd1 is part of the grown up set like it was a secret club that got to do fun stuff while the baby is having to just do baby stuff.

Aww that must have been very hard to hear.
She's one now though, you can start to carve out time just you and him. Your DH can have Dd for the day, or even just an afternoon, every now and then and you and DS can get out and do something fun together