Routines

[leahbyrne08]

My baby is only 3 months old and I'm trying to get her into a routine with naps and feeds as she's having to start nursery and she's starting to attention seek everytime I put her down or leave the room which isn't good for starting nursery any advice ?

I remember how concerned I was before putting DD1 in nursery at 12mo as she was a cat napper and had to have regular naps. The nursery was happy to work around her needs and put her down to sleep when she needed it, not when the nursery schedule dictated so.

With such a young baby it's really important you find a nursery that will be happy to do the same. I think for most babies 3 months is still early to be expecting them to fall into a routine - unless they're a naturally good sleeper it's more important to try and get them down for regular naps throughout the day to avoid overtiredness.

Also a 3mo is really not capable of attention seeking. Your baby has spent 9 months in the womb and needs to adjust to the real world where she's no longer safe and provided for every second of the day. If she's fussing when you put her down it's because she needs something, whether that's food, winding, a clean nappy of just cuddles.

I should add with my first I drove myself crazy trying to get her into a routine as all the books I read suggested it was important to do so and that if I followed their instructions it would all fall into place. It's not important nor is it easy. With the second I'm now a lot more relaxed.

My DS started nursery at 8months and they asked what his routine was but they only stuck to it loosely.
Note down when your LO naps and feeds but don't put loads of pressure to get the routine down to a T as it'll likely change the following month, nursery communicate and work alongside you with your baby's development which will be great for you at your LO's young age. Attention seek is normal (and good that LO wants you) so may be hard but at 3months will settle so quickly at nursery. Nursery staff are well trained and would not leave your child to pine all day for you if it was upsetting them. Have you done any trial sessions to ease yourself more than anything?

She is definitely not attention-seeking - she's practically a newborn. She was IN you for 9 months - it takes that long again for her to be used to being out if you.

This myth of routine is the way parental guilt and frustration lies. It's a ridiculous idea that needs to die a death. The only 'routine' thing you need to adhere to at this age is to make sure she's not awake for longer than an hour or an hour and a quarter, or you'll end up with screamy over-tiredness. Other than that, you be led by her.

You don't say when she starts nursery, but both of mine were in nursery from babies (DS1 started part-time when he was five months old) and they only ever followed his cues. They did not expect him to be in any routine.

One of the most useful pieces of information I was given before having dd was that you can spoil them as much as you like up to 6 months and get away with it. It took the pressure off me trying to be the perfect parent in the early days. I managed to get away with many more months .

At 3 months her routine will be changing from week to week, so don't worry about it. A good nursery will be flexible to her needs.

They are pretty flexible with her needs its just when I went in for her taster days I was given a routine sheet for naps and feeds and I was with wondering wether she was supposed to be in a routine being so young

Any decent nursery will be well aware a baby this age needs a flexible routine, honestly do not worry yourself about this

My youngest is 14 weeks and a very good sleeper at night so he is falling naturally into his own routine but not all babies will do this

Also although babies this age do need plenty of sleep he will always have atleast one block a day where he is awake for 2 1/2 to three hours usually mid afternoon

Don't worry about the sheet. Some parents have strict routines, but many don't. Just write that she often has a sleep mid morning and after lunch, or whatever, or she sleeps after her milk, which is fed on demand, for examples.

It's just to help them look after your baby as close as the way you do as possible.

Helpful things like she has a muslin to take to bed, or we always sing twinkle twinkle before her sleep. It's any information you can give them to help her settle. It's not a judgement on your parenting techniques.

You'll be amazed what nursery can do in term of routine. My oldest only slept in my arms during the day, I was adamant that was the only way he could sleep. Day one of nursery he slept in their cot happy as Larry.

Then my little one has a strict nap schedule at home and can't stick to it at nursery.
Don't worry about their routine for them... it might be a handy place to start if you are trying to start a routine at home but only do it for your sake not theirs!! (That's why you're paying them).
Kx