So hard

[Gape1211a]

I'm new to Mumsnet so here goes.

I have 2 dd's, one is 5 years old and the newest one is 5 weeks. I am finding it so hard juggling between the two. I love more 5 year old dearly but all I do is snap and shout at her because I am so tired, horrible to the point she now wants her Dad more than me.

What also makes it hard is I think 5 week old as silent reflux so wants to be held all the time which is ok when her dad isn't at work. Dad/ partner works shifts, he is on nights tonight. I've been anxious all day.

Just feel like I can't cope for much longer.

Is there anyone else who's partner works shifts? How do you manage?

Hello Gape! It does get easier! You're doing great. I made some great mum friends when I just had dd1 (too knackered to go now!) but we've kept in touch. They've gone on to have their second and confess they are in tears most days at the sheer exhaustion of it all! There is no doubt, it is hard work! You're currently enjoying one of the hardest phases and you're certainly not alone, many tears will be shed right as we speak. Dd2 is 10 months old (dd1 is 3.5) and I'm here to tell you to hang on in there it does get more managable. Dd1 was the same, just wanted daddy for everything but now she's back to wanting us both, mainly because I am now, finally getting more precious sleep! Just take one day at a time, have a cry in private if it helps, and know this is a phase. Good luck and hugs x

Not the same age gap and dh
Doesn't work shifts but I'm hearing you! I have an almost 2 year old and a nearly 7 month old and wow is it hard! The juggling between the two on little sleep is a real killer so I feel your pain. However I think you're in the worst phase in a way when you're trying to adjust, getting no sleep and the toddler is confused . The first 4 months were the worst I think. Now the baby will at least be put down to go to bed at night so we get some alone time, Which definitely helps. Still having to feed at night though. Hoping that might stop soon....

Try to get a break if you can- any way you can! Are u breastfeeding, or bottle? If bottle, leave one (and the kids) with a family member so u can get some sleep. If you're breastfeeding I would strongly recommend introducing one bottle a day to give u a break. It Def saved me and helped me to continue so it didn't feel totally relentless day and night.

Hi I have DD1 who has just turned 2 and DD2 who is now 17 wks. My DD2 has silent reflux and before she started on infant gaviscon she needed to be held constantly and was a very grumpy baby. She's now loads better and happy to be in her bouncy seat or playmat. I would speak to health visitor or GP about the silent reflux and see if they'll give you something.

As others have said it does get better, you find a way to juggle them both and everything calms down after a while. It becomes the new norm. I love seeing my two together now as they're starting to become really close.

If you need to talk or vent feel free to drop me a PM.

Thank you all for replying. She is breast fed with one bottle a day so her dad can feed her.

Health visitor is due on Friday so I'm going to speak to her about the reflux. No one else can see it but my gut tells me something is wrong. My oldest stopped having milk before she was one n still doesn't entertain it now. I was the same, on powered solids at 8 weeks.

Just wish my partner didn't work shifts.