Bed wetting 5 year old split parents

[Petalbird]

When I met DPs 5 year old DD 1.5 years ago she had just started to learn to not wet the bed and was doing well then a few months later she was back in night nappies at home and at her every 4 week visits to us. About 6 months ago her mother decided she was too old for nappies and she was again to learn to get up at night though DD doesn't seem to care. This seemed to go well over the summer holidays for 1 week we had a dry bed but every visit since we have washed the bedding every morning. At home DD says she sometimes wets but not often because mother has an awesome jar of sweets however we tend to treat them allot here anyway though we did stop morning sweets but she doesn't seem to care about that either. DP wants to put her back in nappies and ignore his ex but I think this will confuse DD and instead we should try a reward chart like 10 stars then we will take you to a pony ride. Any ideas what is best (we have the DCs for 10 days over the next holiday )

If she's only visiting you e very month it's not surprising she's more unsettled with you guys and that could be adding to the Issue?

Has DP asked ExW what they do to reward her? I guess consistency is the key but you may have to figure out what makes her tick RE rewards.

Presume you're doing the wake her up for toilet when you go to bed, cut down drinks after dinner etc?

Please don't put her back in nappies as that's a backwards step.

Consistency is important but also, her body needs to be producing a certain hormone and there is absolutely nothing she can do to stop herself wetting the bed so rewards (and sanctions) are pointless.

Make sure she drinks plenty during the day but nothing after 6.