My 4.4yo DS1 hits DP and I whenever he's annoyed or cross usually when we've told him off or taken something away from him as a consequence. E.g. He throws a hard toy at his brother, I take the toy away or turn the TV off, DS1 then gets stroppy and shouty and starts slapping and hitting me.
Also if I remotely raise my voice or tell him off he gets really cross and starts shouting and really screeching back at me.
I'm sure this is all within the realms of normal but I don't know what to do. We've never used a naughty step or time out and have tried to use immediate consequences such as removing a toy or whatever but I feel we need something else.
I try to stay calm and I know he's pushing boundaries and all that. But God he's annoying!!! 
He started school in sept and is very tired a lot of the time and no doubt adjusting to that too.
Tips and suggestions? What works for you and your stroppy shouty rude 4yo...?