Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

How soon after the birth did you go on a night out? Am I crazy to plan one a month after the due date?

105 replies

ArialAnna · 31/10/2016 12:40

I really wanted to buy my husband tickets to The Chambers of Flavour for Christmas. I'm pregnant with our first and due on 14th January. Ideally I wanted to get us tickets for just after Christmas, but the next batch just came on sale and the only options were too close to the due date, or afterwards. So I've booked the latest available (for 17th Feb), but now I'm wondering if that's a bit bonkers? Are we likely to be able to leave the baby at that stage with a babysitter for the evening? (probably my mum or my sister). I guess it depends on how we go with feeding and if the baby will happily take a bottle of expressed milk (planning to breastfeed but obviously have no idea at this stage how well that'll go!!) I guess it doesn't really matter, as worse case scenario is my husband takes someone else or we sell the tickets. But I just wanted to get some idea of how realistic it was. Guess I'm a bit worried about my husband's family's reaction (we'll be a their house for Christmas this year). My MIL already thinks we're crazy for booking a weekend away in early December (by train, no flying), so god knows what she'll make of this!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Mildred007 · 01/11/2016 15:38

Not read everyone else's posts/advice but this will be totally down to YOU and how YOU feel & how baby is at the time. NO one can predict this, even you. So just go with it for now and if you feel at the time you can't go or circumstances make it so you can't then like you say just send your husband off with a mate. MY sil is expecting her first & asked me the same kind of thing as it's our sil hen do not long after baby due - I told her the same, not to commit & just see how she feels nearer the time. Hope all goes well with baby xx

Mildred007 · 01/11/2016 15:39

Oops didn't mean for some of those caps lol

Yuckky · 01/11/2016 15:44

I've not read the whole thread but I'm sure you have a good mix of posters who couldn't leave the house for a year and from those who were on world cruises the following week.

However, I could go out and socialize a month after each of mine (4). I would have been tired but I liked going out as it was a change to baby stuff. My best one was when DS2 was 7 days and I went to a party with my DH and DS2. People were really lovely to me and I had a great time. I had to take time out to feed him quietly. I liked the fact I was at a friends house so I could have left if I wanted.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

Notso · 01/11/2016 15:45

We booked tickets to see a comedian 4 weeks after my due date with DC3 with a view to selling if I didn't feel up to it.
He ended up being born at 37 and a bit weeks, my parents babysat. I left expressed milk but he slept for the whole time we were out. It was a good night.

I left DC1 with DH at three weeks for a night out and then my Mum and Dad had her at 4 weeks as DH and I were at a wedding evening.
I think DC2 was about a month when we went for a night out as well.
I didn't leave DC4 for a while though as nobody really wanted to babysit four children!

There is a parent at my kids primary who notoriously gave birth in the early hours of the morning and was out clubbing that night.

Yuckky · 01/11/2016 15:46

Whoops, I just read the OP properly....please ignore my previous post. I would not have gone out without the babies if they were only a month old as I BF them.

Oldraver · 01/11/2016 15:47

Two weeks old....however it was a planned night out for before he was born, but he was nearly 6 weeks early and was well looked after by SCBU nurses who may of laughed as I fell asleep in the parents lounge the next day

Redkite10a · 01/11/2016 15:48

As well as the baby and feeding, it depends on your birth. If the baby is late and you have an episiotomy, you could still be at the stage of healing where sitting in one position for any length of time really hurts!

My DS was 13 days overdue and I was readmitted back into hospital with complications 2.5 weeks after he was born so it would have been out of the question for us.

DS also spent several hours crying in the evening until he was about 4 weeks old, and after some sometimes difficult days I was desperate for DH to get home and take him. If DH had tried to go out for an evening at this stage, tiredness plus hormones mean I think I'd have been in floods of tears. Have you got family or friends who could come and help you for an evening if needed if your DH ends up going without you?

MancMama · 01/11/2016 15:53

I went out when my baby was 4 weeks old. Baby was with my mum and I'd tried her with formula 2 days prior to see how she'd take it. She was absolutely fine. I was gone for 6 hours. She was asleep for 4 of them. She's now coming up to 6 months and I've been out a few more times since, including overnight. She eats brilliantly. Sleeps well and laughs a lot. I don't regret anything. You go out and have a few hours for yourself if you're up for it and sod everyone else! In fact it'll do your stress levels and sanity the world of good!

Baylisiana · 01/11/2016 15:53

Slightly off topic but reading about babies who would not take a bottle....I don't have dc but does that mean could not be persauded to take a bottle as a one off break from routine? I mean if someone could not BF or had to stop for some reason, they would take a bottle eventually wouldn't they? Forgive me if stupid question!

HouseworkIsASin10 · 01/11/2016 15:55

Went out around 1 month old, did me good to get dressed up and have a hairdo. Bottle fed baby though and was minded by my mum.

Oblomov16 · 01/11/2016 15:56

Your'll only know when you get there.

Ds2 cried and cried. I was bf'ing, but I handed him over to my sil and dh and I went to a NYE party. People must have thought I was raving mad. I pumped and pumped all my milk. My sil said he slept like a baby.
I had a few drinks and felt semi human for just one night.

See how you feel when you get there.

That1950sMum · 01/11/2016 15:58

Everyone's different but there is not way I would have left my babies after only a few weeks. No way any of my family would have wanted to babysit such a little baby either!

PhantomPringles · 01/11/2016 16:00

Depends on whether you breastfeed or bottle. I bottle-fed and went out a couple of weeks post birth while my mum had the baby. I loved feeling like me again. Mind you I was back at work full time within 3 months of giving birth so had to get used to leaving him. You may be knackered, you may feel fine. If you know you can gift or resell the tickets should the need arise, then go for it.

Biffsboys · 01/11/2016 16:04

I went out for my dh 30th Birthday 31/2 weeks after ds was born . We had a lovely night . I wasn't bf though ?

BertrandRussell · 01/11/2016 16:05

I went to a wine and wisdom when ds was 5 days old. He came with me, though.......I had a lovely time.

Not quite the same thing I know.

Could you take the baby with you? Is that a daft idea?

Saracen · 01/11/2016 16:08

You'll only know when the time is close. Some mums would have no problem leaving a month-old baby while others absolutely couldn't/wouldn't. It's okay though, as you have a backup plan of sending your dh off with someone else for the evening. Wait and see!

Redpony1 · 01/11/2016 16:10

You'll just have to wait and see!

All my friends that have had babies have pretty much carried on their lives as they were before except with an extra person, out riding and back competing within a couple of weeks etc (unless C Section!), with babies left at home with dad or at the event with them and a babysitter such as dad or their mum.

Saracen · 01/11/2016 16:13

"Slightly off topic but reading about babies who would not take a bottle....I don't have dc but does that mean could not be persauded to take a bottle as a one off break from routine? I mean if someone could not BF or had to stop for some reason, they would take a bottle eventually wouldn't they?"

Not always. But there are other ways to get milk into a baby in a pinch, such as with a spoon, cup or syringe. Such methods are less convenient than a bottle but it's good to have a backup plan!

Baylisiana · 01/11/2016 16:15

Crikey Saracen! Sounds stressful, I remember a friend had to measure every millilitre for ages and had a chart, perhaps she was in a similar situation.

mrsmugoo · 01/11/2016 16:18

I left my 5 month old EBF DD last week to go out for dinner from 8:30-11. That was my first time out of the house after her bedtime.

Didn't leave the house after bedtime with my 1st until 6.5 months so I thought I was doing well.

TBH even though both of mine are decent sleepers I'm ready for bed by 9 so nights out don't really have much appeal right now.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 01/11/2016 16:27

As everyone has said, it's difficult to predict. What you are doing is putting unnecessary pressure on yourselves which at the time you may regret.

ElphabaTheGreen · 01/11/2016 16:28

I mean if someone could not BF or had to stop for some reason, they would take a bottle eventually wouldn't they?

Not if you were my DS1 I tried every type of bottle with him under the sun and left him for literally full days at a time with other people to starve him into taking them. He would hold out until I appeared again, then feed non-stop for hours. Tried a bottle with him every day from about four weeks old. Was having none of it.

Some babies do not take bottles under any circumstances. It was a total shock to my system as we are so conditioned by our society and fucking formula companies to assume that babies just take bottles. Which is a crazy assumption when you think about it, but when every baby doll you see is sold with a tiny plastic bottle...the universal sign for a feeding area is a baby bottle...a baby bottle emoji peppers birth announcements on social media...

SueTrinder · 01/11/2016 16:30

With a first I'd say it's too soon, a month after DD1 was born I was barely making it out of the house with the baby, let alone without. Even with a second or third you don't know how the baby will be, my second was very easy and life carried on very much as normal after her straightforward birth. My third was (a late) preemie and we were in hospital for 9 days after he was born and he was just so delicate for a long time I didn't want to leave him, he got dragged everywhere.

ZZZZ1111 · 01/11/2016 16:33

It massively depends on how you are recovering from the birth, how feeding is going, how much sleep you have been getting. At 4 weeks in, I was exhausted, still bleeding, and just getting the hang of breastfeeding. My priority was very much getting sleep whenever I could (e.g. Catching a couple of hours when my husband got home from work) as my baby was very wakeful. There was no way I could have or would have wanted to leave my baby for the evening. He was three months old when I did that for the first time.

SolomanDaisy · 01/11/2016 16:35

Virtually no breastfed babies will easily take a bottle with no further problems at four weeks. It's recommended not to introduce them until 6 weeks. But your baby could easily be 6 weeks. Or 2 weeks. And you could feel great and be expressing easily or you could be struggling to feed and completely exhausted. Your baby could be in the NICU or could be sleeping 6 hour chunks at home. It's all a massive unknown.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5