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Original poster

How soon after the birth did you go on a night out? Am I crazy to plan one a month after the due date?

105 replies

ArialAnna · 31/10/2016 12:40

I really wanted to buy my husband tickets to The Chambers of Flavour for Christmas. I'm pregnant with our first and due on 14th January. Ideally I wanted to get us tickets for just after Christmas, but the next batch just came on sale and the only options were too close to the due date, or afterwards. So I've booked the latest available (for 17th Feb), but now I'm wondering if that's a bit bonkers? Are we likely to be able to leave the baby at that stage with a babysitter for the evening? (probably my mum or my sister). I guess it depends on how we go with feeding and if the baby will happily take a bottle of expressed milk (planning to breastfeed but obviously have no idea at this stage how well that'll go!!) I guess it doesn't really matter, as worse case scenario is my husband takes someone else or we sell the tickets. But I just wanted to get some idea of how realistic it was. Guess I'm a bit worried about my husband's family's reaction (we'll be a their house for Christmas this year). My MIL already thinks we're crazy for booking a weekend away in early December (by train, no flying), so god knows what she'll make of this!

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Thurlow · 31/10/2016 20:44

Well, DS is 5 days old and I'm already thinking about when I can go out

It does depend on so many things - how you feel physically, how feeding is going, whether they'll take a bottle, how comfortable you feel with leaving the baby. All of these are impossible to predict beforehand and no one can really advise you

If you can make a reliable back up plan for someone else to go, I'd book it because there is always a chance that you will feel up to a few hours out

Winifredgoose · 31/10/2016 20:45

There is absolutely no way I would have wanted to go for a night out when my babies were under a month old. I am struggling to think of anyone I know who would have felt comfortable doing this. It is far to early to have any idea whether the baby will take expresses milk, but for most mums I know, the issue would have been simply not wanting to leave the baby for several hours to enjoy a concert.

Pootle40 · 31/10/2016 21:14

I only had 2/3 hours away from my second son until he was a year old as he was breastfed and refused a bottle. Managed to go out for a night when he was a few months old as he was down for the night and knew he was ok until next feed at midnight. Tiredness would have stopped me doing much for the first 8 weeks.

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FlorisApple · 31/10/2016 21:26

Sorry, I'm a nope. Obviously there are exceptions (and Superwomen!), but I would just say, don't put too much pressure on yourself to have to leave your baby and have a "good time" for your husband's sake. I actually arranged a birthday dinner at a pub for my DH with friends and family when my firstborn was a month old (but took the baby with us) and it was just bloody exhausting and all I wanted was to be at home in bed. I was determined that life would carry on as normal and we wouldn't stop socialising exactly like before, and in some ways tiny babies are easier to take out with you than older kids, but in retrospect, it was all unnecessary to rush that time when they are tiny and cuddly and you don't ever want to leave them. With second, I was just: No.

Orsono · 31/10/2016 21:29

I went out for an evening when mine was four or five weeks, left DS with his dad. I was breastfeeding, expressed enough for the evening, it was fine.

Oly5 · 31/10/2016 21:34

Possible if you are bottle feeding
Almost impossible if breastfeeding in my opinion! Baby might not "just take a bottle" even of expressed milk.

WilliamHerschel · 31/10/2016 21:42

It's a tough one to call as there's no way of knowing how you and the baby will be at that point.

I wouldn't have been able to go at that stage. My dd was 4 days overdue and breastfeeding. I was a walking zombie and still in a fair amount of pain. She never would take a bottle and I never was able to make much milk by expressing. Even if she would have taken a bottle of formula or I was able to express and she would have taken a bottle of that, I would have been way too sleep deprived and in too much physical discomfort. I don't think I'd have wanted to leave her that soon regardless. It might not be like that for you though....it's so hard to judge.

uhoh2016 · 31/10/2016 21:54

Of course it's possible. Baby will be just fine with your mum or sister for a few hours. Come closer the time you will feel reluctant to leave your baby but it's good for you to have a break and enjoy being you for a few hours. Enjoy your night baby will be fine and will never ever remember that he/she was without you for an evening when newborn

Lesly0411 · 01/11/2016 10:49

I didn't breastfeed my son (for health reasons), but my husband and I left him when he was 3 weeks old and went to a movie. Everything was all right, my husband's parents handled him rather well. But you don't know what's going to happen after the baby is born, so be sure you can give tickets to someone else). Don't be afraid, it's not crazy to plan your life after giving birth!

StrangeIdeas · 01/11/2016 12:52

I first went out when DD was 2 months. Went to a gig with DP and DD was with sil. I couldn't watch much of the gig and spent most of the time with other mums in the lobby all looking at photos of our kids on our phones. I got a taxi back to sil's after an hour and half cos I couldn't handle being away from DD. She was fine. I'd left expressed milk for her. You won't know till the time.

ThinkOfTheMice · 01/11/2016 13:00

Everyone is different. I know people who went out a week or so after the birth just fine. Generally the bottle feeders though.
Ds was BF and I had a section. That long after the birth I was still in considerable pain, bleeding heavily, shell shocked and shattered (ds has never slept even as a newborn.) he was also cluster feeding in the evenings - if I didn't feed him for even a short time I was in serious discomfort. It's also not as easy as 'apply pump, produce sufficient milk to go out for the night.' You might not be able to produce much (I certainly couldn't.)

You may be totally fine, you may not. Everyone has a different experience.

For what it's worth, ds is 13 mo and I've still not had a night out or left him more than a few hours.

MumboNumber5 · 01/11/2016 13:20

I went out for an hour or so when DD was 4 or 5 weeks. She was bottle fed and left with my mum. Fell asleep before I left and was still asleep when I got back - missed her though!!!
Appreciate a quick drink is different to a proper night out.

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 01/11/2016 15:25

Highly unlikely you'll be able to or want to go I would have thought.

JennaWaring · 01/11/2016 15:26

Of course you can do it if you want too. Both mine born in November and I had an xmas night out a few weeks later on both occasions. I expressed enough milk and left DS with Gran. I'd liked to say i pined for my little one the whole evening but actually I had a fab time, felt like I was still me and loved the change from feeding, changing, winding etc.

You'll know yourself what's the right thing for you at the time.

SpecialStains · 01/11/2016 15:28

My baby is 11weeks and I've left him twice for two hours each with DH. It was awful and I hated leaving him. My mum and MIL keep on hinting they want to be left with the baby, but it's not happening anytime soon!

That said other people are different and one of my NCT group left her 9week old overnight to go to a concert (though again, that was with her DH).

washingsomuchwashing · 01/11/2016 15:29

I went out around then, really enjoyed a night off!

Fluffsnuts · 01/11/2016 15:29

Definitely couldn't. I was breastfeeding and DS would not take a bottle. He was very much a boob monster and at 4 weeks was feeding for 3 - 4hours in the evening. I also wouldn't have wanted to leave him for that long at that stage (personal feelings, not a judgment of others) and wouldn't have been able to relax and enjoy myself.

IceBeing · 01/11/2016 15:31

No point asking what other people with different children could do. You will find out when you get there. It is certainly not impossible you might want to go out...certainly not impossible you won't be able to.

badg3r · 01/11/2016 15:32

I think you did the right thing booking the tickets. Everyone is different (as is very evident by the above!) - I wouldn't have wanted to leave DS at that age but know several who did. See how you feel at the time and line up a babysitter and backup plus one just in case. Pick nice supportive people who you know well and don't mind about the uncertainty, and you don't even need to decide till the actual day.

Joinourclub · 01/11/2016 15:33

i had a forceps delivery with my first and it really effected my weeing! Fit at least 3 weeks afterwards when I needed to go, I needed to go right away! So I couldn't venture too far from a loo! So I hope you have an aisle seat!

Nessie100 · 01/11/2016 15:33

I packed up a 3 bedroom house, and moved house (by myself) to a different county 6 wks post c-section.

Had night out 3 wks post c-section (took while to recover from that .

Only YOU will know what YOU can do 1 hr / day / wk / month / yr after the baby comes.

Worry about it on 16th Feb, cos even then I'm sure himself can get someone else to go with him if you don't want to / can't.

Best of luck

CreepyContessaDiPlump · 01/11/2016 15:34

I think we went out for the evening when DS2 (mostly FF) was 3 weeks old and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Glad to escape him tbh

MummyTheGregor · 01/11/2016 15:36

before we had DS1 DH read in a book for new Dads that before the birth Dads should book something to do together really early on after the baby arrives - at about a month or 6 weeks - I was a bit surprised by this so called advice (ref bf-ing and being exhausted and baby being too little etc) but actually really enjoyed the few hours out at the Theatre we had when DS1 was 4 weeks old - its a mile from our house, could have been home in 5 mins and as it was I was ff and he slept the whole time we were out.
After DS2 we were bought tickets for a folk gig at the same venue for when DS2 was 3 weeks old. I was mix feeding, we were gone from 7.30 till 11pm and he slept well the whole time we were out.
Nothing booked in for after DS3 arrives in a few weeks but I would rule it out. That said I wouldn't want to go far from home, just into our small town at furthest and I'd not want to book anything too expensive that I'd be annoyed at cancelling..... baby number 3 could be one that's awake loads on an eve, a complete boob monster thst refuses bottles and I might feel very different about leaving him with my parents......

weefergie56 · 01/11/2016 15:36

My DD was three weeks old and breastfed when I left her with dad for the evening having expressed (she had one formula bottle during the night so I could get more than two hours sleep in a row by that point and took to a bottle fine and never interfered with breast). They were absolutely fine and the night off was exactly what the doctor ordered, I found it hard being the sole milk machine. Do what you feel you can manage, granny will be fine she's done it before x

Ragwort · 01/11/2016 15:37

I went out when DS was 10 days old - the worse thing about it was the judgemental comments I got from another mother - I was only out for a couple of hours, we were within 5 minutes of getting home (DM was babysitting) if DS woke and needed feeding. I enjoyed the break .

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