don't think i've handled this very well...

[noonar]

my DDs, aged 2.5 and nearly 5 were squabbling at bed time during milk/ story with dh. they ended up spilling a cup of milk on their little bedside table, which then poured into a box of 25- 30 books which was next to the table. we now have soggy, sticky books, many of which are ruined

i was so cross and upset, i ended up taking dd1s sylvanian families away, telling her she can have then back when she learns to take more care of her things.

have i been really unfair? what would you have done?

It's hard to know how to respond in the moment. It's not really clear from your post - was it the 5 year old's fault?

Fwiw, I make dd drink milk at the table, or if away from the table, give her a cup that won't spill if knocked over.

I think milk in bed is always hazardous and nearly always gets spilt. Don't make it their fault. Yes it's annoying but they didn't mean it and they are just kids.

Hark at me, the queen of over-reaction.

Go hug!!!

it was probably both of their faults, tbh. i suppose that i took it out on dd1 as she is older.

yes, i know...cup of milk near books, very silly. will do milk in the kitchen from now on.

How frustrating! I get really upset when things get broken/damaged, especially books.

I probably would have done somethng similar and then kicked myself for letting them have the milk in their room in the first place. It's hard to know what to do especially when you're angry and upset.

thanks folks. i was probaly a bit harsh with dd1. but should i go back on what i've said and give her sylvanians back first thing, or make her wait a bit longer- say till tea time?

Hmmm - think I'd talk to her about it. Tell her you were upset about the fight, the spilled milk and the ruined books. Maybe even show her the books. It was an accident, but you've decided that in future, the milk in bed routine needs to change.

I'd give her back the Sylvanians. It's enough that she saw you/dh upset, and that her books are ruined, imo.