Id like to get my 10 week old into a proper routine. Help please

[user1466690252]

Hello, second child but I cant seem to remember how I did it with number 1? I think it naturally happened but needs muat this time.
Currently, dc2 has a bath at 5, bottle at 6 and sleeps from that bottle till 1, then bottle at 4. Fine, except that 4am bottle wakes up dc1 (5) as he must be coming out of his deep sleep, so dc1 is fully awake from 5am. I dont go back to sleep so my days start at 4am. I am hanging!!
What do I do? Im too tired to think. Dh works away so there's no help till the weekend, am I expecting too much? What can I do. The days have no routine I just feed him on demand, roughly every 3-4 hours. I feel like im teetering on the edge of everything. Can anyone help? Or is this how everyone feels at this point?

It is how everybody feels. At least I did. I am sorry but I think at 10 weeks it is too early for a routine for your baby. Are you breast feeding? If not is there anybody who can help out and give you a break.

Could you give him a dreamfeed before you go to bed? That would probably shift the 4 am feed forward and let you sleep later .

If you try to push it all later you might lose the 7 hour stretch of sleep you're getting at the moment. I don't think I'd risk it at 10w!

Why is the 4am bottle waking dc1? Is there lots of crying? Can you get some ready made formula so you can just throw it straight at baby with no delay?

Your baby sounds like they're sleeping amazingly well! I was up every 90 mins to two hours at that age...have two dc.
I'm aghast you think you can get a 10wk old in a routine. Maybe you could go to bed a bit earlier and try to get a bit of extra sleep?

Get DC1 a Gro-Clock and explain that it's not time to get up yet, and he needs to go back to bed until 7/8 whenever.

As time goes on, he will get used to DC2 crying but also needs to learn to settle himself back down to sleep if he is disturbed.

Ahhhh ok, my times on what I did with dc1 are skewed, when should we start thinking of a routine.
I think the 4am feed is waking him as he hears me moving around getting the bottle, and then he uses the fact im feeding the baby to get into bed with me as I cant get up and take him back to my own bed. I tell him, he has a reward chart but he just wont have it. I was going to bed with them about 7. But honestly, I just feel like I was this mum machine. I needed a bit of time to myself to speak to friends and generally just adult for a few hours. I can suck it up and keep going. I just need some light 8gt at the end of the tunnel. Tell me it gets better, i know it does, but tell me its soon please 🙈

Gro clock... got it! Ill look at them now

I have nothing to add except my jealousy at your 10 week old only waking twice!
Last night I had 11pm, 1am, 3.30, 4-5-6 all rolled into one. Then she slept and D1 woke at 7. Waaaaa!!! Routine my eye.
I know it gets better too but bloody hell it cannot come soon enough!
Here's one for us both- me for the night wakes, you for the 5am starts .

DD1, not D1, she is very D:)

Oh wow!!! Ok i feel bad now, thanks for the 🍷 sucking it up and keep going on then! Off to bed for me!

Don't feel bad! A broken nights sleep is a broken nights sleep no matter what way you cut it and I have a DH at home in the evenings and mornings to allow me to pull myself together! I can't imagine facing the day without some back-up!
Some day we'll look back on this time wistfully (Ha!) when we have great big teenagers lolling about (though what I wouldn't give for an epic teenage lie-in right now!).

I would try a bath at 5.15 then 5.30 moving up til later so you don't have such an early start. The gro clock is good we have 1 for ds1.

I think you need to be proactive about setting routines. And usually it works pretty well. For a 10 week old instigate 3 hour routine feeds (i.e don't wait for demand, just feed) at 7am, 10am, 1pm, 5pm, 7pm, with every feed followed by a short burst of activity like lying on the floor kicking or being sung to. Then when ANY tired signs happen (looking away, grizzling, rubbing eyes, yawning), swaddle the baby and pop him into her sleeping place whether awake or asleep. Bath at around 6pm, final bottle, bed. Then gently rouse for a dream feed at 10pm with all the lights off or dimmed. Put back to bed after the dream feed and hope for the best. Repeat the same pattern, again and again. Every single day start at 7am whether or not the last feed was at 5am or 6am. Just be disciplined about that, and the rest of it will fall into place.

I know this routine stuff is very unfashionable at the moment but it bloody works (well, it worked for me). And it can set up good sleep habits for the baby which are essential given the importance of sleep for their brain development.