Tips for baby who hates the car?

[seven201]

My 4 month old just screams her head off when in the car. Sometimes it's just crying but most of the time it's full on hurt her throat screaming so I have to pull over. I think part of the problem is she is a snack feeder so is rarely full for long. She has unpredictable naps so I can't time leaving with naps. If we go anywhere I have to leave ridiculously early to account for all the stop offs. There's a mirror for me to see her, a Lamaze toy dangling off headrest, Sophie giraffe to chew on and some other toy I put on her. She spits out a dummy. I try music. She quite likes things that light up and play music (I'm only basing this on her liking this function on the jumperoo I once put her in!). I've had a look on Amazon and there doesn't seem to be such an in car toy? I suppose maybe I should broaden my search criteria to not specific in car toys. She hates the pram too if this makes any difference and only likes a facing out carrier, I think for comfort and so she can see what's going on. Is it ridiculous to go for a in car DVD player for a 4 month old! It sounds ridiculous to me but I am considering everything as it's so stressful getting anywhere. Any tips? TiA

My son had a light up/music toy which attached to his car seat - it came from Asda. He hated the car too but got much better at around 6-7 months.

My son hated the car I ended up putting him in the front seat rear facing because I felt it was more likely he would choke from the crying (he did frequently) than get in an accident he cry when he could see someone.

In the pram he sat as upright as possible so he could look around

Thanks both. I really hope she does grow out of it. Had a stressful journey today and arrived really late. There were lots of comments about how we don't bring her to visit enough and when their kids were little they used to fall asleep in the car . I think they picture us pulling over at the slightest whimper.

I will have a better look for in car light up toys. I try to avoid motorways so if she does start screaming in a potential choking way I can pull over.

try a different seat?

Both my DCs were exactly the same at 4 months - bawled from literally 30 seconds into a journey to the point of vomiting. It was horrendous. It's probably not what you want to hear but they both grew out of it eventually and in the worst of it we stopped doing long or unnecessary car journeys (it actually became unsafe for us to drive with the screaming as so distracting and distressing!) I also got at people saying "oh mine just nodded off in the car at that age".

I think they started to improve at 6 months for short journeys but really turning them front facing at around a year is what sorted it. I suspect it was a bit of motion sickness and not being able to see what was going on.

My ds was like this at 4 months too, we were also considering a DVD player! He's 6 months now and is much better, I think now that his stomach is a bit bigger he can go for longer without feeds plus he's a bit taller so can see out of the window more. Give it a few more weeks see if things change, I imagine once you introduce a DVD player there'll be no going back!

Mine was the same until we switched her from a bucket style baby car seat to a rear facing upright seat (britax max fix 2). I think the slumped position hurt her tummy and she was pissed off that she couldn't see. They're suitable from birth and go up to 4+ years so something like that could be worth a go? Failing that a holder for your tablet (if you have one) and some downloaded CBeebies is cheaper than an in car dvd player

I was going to say a mirror so she can see you and own reflection but you have one.

My LO cried when he was younger .. Think he just wanted me and my breast and comfort but when I was driving it was hard so I used to sing nursery rhymes to him and it seemed to calm him down

Good luck hope your LO grows out of it as it can be very stressful

Have you removed all the insets in the car seat as necessary and adjusted the height of the straps? I find playing children's songs and singing along to them helps abit.

She sounds just like my DS2. He hated the lie flat carry cot, he screamed when the pushchair was parent facing and he still hates his car seat at 14 months. The only thing that sometimes works is if when DP is driving I play nursery rhymes on YouTube. If there's a dvd player that can be set up please let me know. DS2 is such a terrible traveller that we have only done 2 longish journeys in his life, we've never done so much in the local area. He is totally different to DS1 who would fall to sleep almost straight away.
We have tried forward facing in grandparents car and it makes no difference. He is slightly better now than when he was younger so it is improving but it is difficult. I think of places I want to take him but the stress of travelling puts me off. It's a shame as he's pretty cheerful once we arrive anywhere.

I do think her car seat (cyber Aton q or something) is very restrictive (taken all possible inserts out) so maybe I should look into changing it. Expensive solution that might not even work though! Her pram is roomy and she hates that too so I doubt it would help much. We have a shade on the window so I might try taking that off to give her a better view. She's just one of those babies who will not do anything for long so I just don't think anything will fix it properly unless I pay the monkey music lady to travel around in the back seat. I do play music, but not specific baby stuff so I'll find a cd. I try singing but I don't think she can hear me above her screaming, or maybe she's screaming as I have such a terrible voice and can never remember the words!

I'll try anything if it avoids a repeat of 25 mins on the m4 where she screamed and screamed and there was nowhere to pull over. She had a sore throat for a couple of days after that! I hate it and feel like I'm torturing her and me. I'm a resilient person but one time when I was only driving 5 mins somewhere both me and her cried most of the way! It was only a tear or two from me - I wasn't being unsafe.

Thanks everyone for your advice.

Good idea about the tablet. We'll try that before a DVD player. I really want to avoid that type of thing though as it's definitely not something that can be reversed easily I should imagine! But I also want to leave the house....

Some things that worked for one or both of my car haters:

Dummy (you need to let her have it at home when she is happy and calm to get used to sucking it)
Car seat in front with air bags off
Move to a Grp 0/1 erf seat (not a wage of money as you will likely have to buy one before she is 1 anyway so she'll just be in it earlier. DS has been in his from 6m and is now 2.5)
Singing
Get them to sleep then put in car seat and go (we were early/late a lot)
snacks when old enough
dangly toys
*turned forward facing at around 2yo

Not all of these things helped both but worked for at least one of them. For DD it was a phase she grew out of at around 5mo. For DS he still needed a dummy in the car until we turned him forward facing at 2.5yo.

Good luck. You have my sympathies as it's awful.

Thanks 0dog

Mine also hated the car, screamed so much she made herself sick a few times. Not going to help you here as it's not an option for a few months but she got so much better when I moved her to front facing. I think shed been feeling travel sick. I'd try the front seat option mentioned above - if you can turn off the air bag of course! You're a much safer driver when you can focus on the road. And you can easily move them back to the rear seat when you change car seats, whenever you choose to do that.