How to discipline 2 year old

[DesignedForLife]

Really hope I don't get flamed here. I'm really struggling with my recently turned two year old at the moment, she can be sweet as pie and great fun, but also very strong willed. I'm having a lot of problems at the moment with her throwing food, mashing food into her hair, spitting out drinks, kicking me, grabbing baby's cot/pram & climbing or shaking it, climbing onto chairs or tables and standing up, screaming if she doesn't get her way etc.

I know she's pushing boundaries and there may be an element or attention seeking or playing out because of new sibling. But anything I try just gets ignored. I tell her no firmly, repeatedly, remove object away from her, move her away from baby/table and try to distract, constantly shower her with praise for good behaviour but nothing seems to get through. I feel like I need some sort of consequence but I can't figure out anything age appropriate that I think would work.

I do try to be gentle and understanding, but she can be so violent in her responses (kicking screaming, throwing herself to the floor) I'm terrified of her hurting herself or baby sibling.

Really need some suggestions!

It definitely sounds like a response to the new sibling. It's counter intuitive but, in addition to what you're already doing (distraction etc) you really need to love her up. As much one on one time as you can manage and masses of cuddles... Swimming and massage were also helpful as all the touching (skin to skin isn't just for babies!)
You don't say how old your baby is but it can take a long time for the jealousy to settle down.

I'm in a similar ish boat. Toddler is 21 month almost. Baby now 3 months. Since baby has come along toddler has been behaving quite badly. Kicking, pushing etc. The bad behaviour seems mostly directed at me- sometimes he just walks up to me and kicks me for no reason. It's quite upsetting tbh.

I've not worked out the best strategy for dealing with it either! The suggestion made above makes sense. Will have to ramp up the praise and love. I must admit I do feel a bit like I'm neglecting the toddler but that's because the baby needs so much needs attention from me for all the feeds!

I've 18 months between my two and generally I would cuddle both kids together, hold dc1 and he would help push the pram, let dc1 take the babies bottle to het while I got his food (obv he couldn't feed her), he would fetch them both a toy, book etc picking one he thought she would like, so he learnt to help.her and that I still had enough time for him. It does make everything take longer and may mean dc2 crys a bit more while waiting for things but it never got too bad.

Dc2 is now 20months and the only discipline we have really is distraction and just moving her if she is doing something dangerous like climbing on the table. We also do a bit of baby signing to help her communicate with us and vice versa. Food, drink, nappy, sit down, come back to me. I then generally just let the tantrums run their course provided the kid is safe and give them a cuddle when they are finished.