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Original poster

6 month old seems behind

65 replies

tappitytaptap · 29/09/2016 23:30

My 6 month old DS is generally a happy smily chap. However I can't help thinking he seems behind friends babies and those of my NCT group. Whilst all these babies are eating 3 meals a day, sitting up unsupported, rolling all over the place and trying to crawl, DS seems mostly uninterested in solid food, can't sit up (well maybe for a few seconds then leans forward/to side and falls over), rolls very occasionally and is mostly thrashing around during tummy time with the odd push up. Its like he is still a little baby and they are all growing up. I should mention the one thing he doesn't seem behind on is he sleeps through the night. He seems reasonably strong physically in particular his legs - quite sturdy at standing and he will stand for a while just holding your hands, and fairly flexible in that he can easily get his feet in his mouth. I guess I might worry more than most as he had a small stroke at birth but we were advised after an MRI the issues that may come out of that could be subtle hand-eye coordination ones. His hand-eye coordination seems ok to me; grabbing and reaching for objects purposefully. Am I surrounded by advanced babies or is he very much behind what is expected for 6 month olds? I find myself not wanting to go to baby classes etc as the differences seem highlighted to me. I came home from the last one in tears and am thinking I should distance myself from my NCT group slightly as even the whatsapp message group we have just highlights how he is not progressing like the rest of them.

OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 29/09/2016 23:33

Talk to your HV if you are really concerned.

Most six month olds aren't on three meals a day unless they are having puréed gunk pushed into their mouths, nor are most crawling. ,y own daughter never tolled until 10 months. She was crawling before then. They are all different so try no to compare.

hoddtastic · 29/09/2016 23:36

6 months old? honest, chill your boots for a bit.

Original poster
tappitytaptap · 29/09/2016 23:38

Thanks LittleBear. We have to go to a development clinic for follow up so I will ask there. I am probably seeing all the things he is behind on but it feels hard when it seems so many! He has always been quite 'chatty' but now all my friends are saying their babies are saying mama and dada and he certainly isn't doing that. He just babbles randomly, changing the noises slightly from time to time.

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LittleBearPad · 29/09/2016 23:38

Tolled Confused rolled is what I was going for!

phoolani · 29/09/2016 23:46

You are, understandably, looking for signs his stroke has affected him. Try not to worry. It's impossible to tell anything yet, they are all so different in developing. Just keep telling yourself that you're worried but it's too early to tell.

Keeptrudging · 29/09/2016 23:46

Ask your HV, if only to put your mind at rest. It sounds like you got a scare when he was tiny so are (understandably) looking more closely at his development and possibly worrying unnecessarily. HV is better placed to advise, it's better to clear this up so you can get on with enjoying time with him.

CeeCee00 · 29/09/2016 23:48

Hmm....pretty sure you're friends are talking shit! 3 meals a day and saying mama and dada?! Of course all babies are different but my daughter is approaching 9 months and isn't that accomplished, nor are any of my friends babies and mosh of them are a bit older than mine.

Sure, they might be pushing some purée in their mouths and picking up on particular babbling sound, but weaned and talking....ha!

Sorry to hear that your little boy wasn't well at birth, but he sounds lovely and normal to me. Hope you can keep your support structure OP, just take them all with a huge pinch of salt.

GiddyOnZackHunt · 29/09/2016 23:51

Their babies are not saying Mama and Data. The babies are babbling and they're hearing streams of babble that they are attribulting meaning to.
Yes the odd baby might talk at 6 months with meaning but they are few and get between.

Lupinlady5 · 29/09/2016 23:53

Agree with pp, he sounds totally normal. I have 3, and didn't even begin weaning any of them until 6 months.
None of mine have moved much until nearer to 1 year, proper babbling not until 9 months +
It's so hard not to worry, but he genuinely sounds ok to me. Grabbing his feet to his mouth etc will strengthen his core.

Original poster
tappitytaptap · 29/09/2016 23:55

I think the developmental checks continue until he's 3 (unless there is anything wrong then it may be longer) which is just a standard thing so not sure how reassuring they can be at this stage. I would rather check with the consultant we will be seeing rather than the HV as I'm guessing she will be pretty developmentally-focussed. Scares the shit out of me though after what happened. I think he must be making some progress, feels stronger etc, but he was a tiny baby (about 2nd centile) and seems to have put a lot of effort into growing (75th for weight, I think maybe 90th+ for length, he is a very long baby!) and tripled his birthweight by 5 months. I do wonder a little whether it will take him longer to sit up etc than my friends tiny dots of little girls who weigh a lot less and so comparisons are a bit stupid.
I need to just chill out on all fronts I think - just give him a bit of what we are eating whenever and not worry about 'meals', plenty of tummy time to develop strength etc and then just let him go at his own pace.

OP posts:
JassyRadlett · 29/09/2016 23:58

Ok, you have a couple of problems, and one is your friends overstaying/exaggerating what their babies are doing. Mama and Dada at 6 months? DS1 was an early talker and had a wide vocabulary very early but he was nowhere near speech at 6 months.

What size is your baby? I only ask because of what the paediatrician said about DS2 who is a tall, muscly baby - the bigger ones are often slower to reach milestones involving gross motor skills because they need more strength to do it.

DS2 rolled over from front to back around 8 weeks. He did it again, once. And that was it for months. Ditto rolling the other way, and he cracked crawling around 8 months. He was sitting up at the end of being 6 months - went from nothing to rock solid in a week.

He is at 11 months a daredevil climber, standing nonchalantly unaided and cruising like a demon. He just wasn't interested in doing it until he was ready.

DorotheaHomeAlone · 29/09/2016 23:58

He sounds completely normal to me. They all develop differently and I agree there's probably some exaggeration going in among your friends combined with some understandable anxiety on your part.

JassyRadlett · 29/09/2016 23:59

Cross-post on baby size - go your boy!

Lupinlady5 · 30/09/2016 00:00

6 months would be quite young to sit reliably anyway. I've got an old baby book that my parents had in the 70s (Penelope someone, quite famous) and it says the baby would not be able to sit truly independently (with hands free to play with toys) until round about the ninth month.
If you look at the NHS milestones, it lists 9 months as the time to mention to your GP if baby can't sit, so ages to go.

Lapinlapin · 30/09/2016 00:01

It sounds like you've been through a scary time, but honestly to me he sounds fine!

Duckafuck · 30/09/2016 00:03

He sounds fine to me, babies do things when they're ready. It sounds like you're quite anxious about side effects from the stroke. Take him to be seen by your GP or HV and put your mind at rest. Try not to compare him to others, lots of parents stretch the truth to make their LO's sound like geniuses which is a bit sad. Try not to worry.

GiddyOnZackHunt · 30/09/2016 00:06

From your further posts it does sound like he's had some catching up to do physically so it wouldn't be surprising at all if he was a tiny bit behind average. My ds was premature and he sometimes didn't quite compare to others his age. But at 3 you'd never have known. He's certainly among the taller children in his class and fits in perfectly. He didn't have a single word until very nearly 2 but again school have said his vocabulary is very good.

Duckafuck · 30/09/2016 00:17

Can I just add that milestones are based on average development so many babies will do things later and many will do things before expected milestones. It sounds like your baby is perfectly within normal developmental range.

mylaptopismylapdog · 30/09/2016 00:35

You and he sound very normal, I think most parents have your sort of worry about development at some point but you have the added event of his stroke which will make you understandably wonder, so speaking to the consultant is good idea to give you reassurance. My son was a very long baby (now 6'4") and he didn't crawl but bum shuffled I think his size did make a difference in some way as he developed but he is fine now.
I do think though that we look at adults we see a diverse bunch but when it comes to babies they are somehow expected to all conform and know what order to do their development. It stands to reason that there must be variations. Enjoy the fact he stays in one place while you can!

LilyRose16 · 30/09/2016 00:36

That is exactly why I stopped going to baby groups, the other mums only talked about how amazing their babies are, every little thing was like a competition, I couldn't take it! Don't compare your DS to others, honestly. All babies are different and develop at their own rate. He sounds exactly like my 6 month old with where he is development wise so I really wouldn't worry!

Original poster
tappitytaptap · 30/09/2016 06:54

Thanks everyone. Yes LilyRose, I know the babies are what we have in common but earlier this week I had someone I've never met ask me about what he can do as the conversation opener. Not how old he is, what his name is etc. Like she was absolutely desperate to tell me all the things her DS could do. I find it a bit odd as I wouldn't ever open a conversation with a boast. You don't tell someone about your professional achievements straight away if you've met them through work do you?! I always try the 'ooh, whats his/her name, what a cute outfit/toy/smile'. Not sure I'm cut out for the competitive world of the baby group. Thankfully I am back at work in a couple of months. Will miss DS but not the baby group mothers Wink

OP posts:
whatlifestylechoice · 30/09/2016 07:25

If it helps, OP, my baby girl has just turned 6 months and was thoroughly checked out by her paediatrician last week, who is very pleased with her and says she's progressing very well.
She can't sit up unaided, she can't make any recognizable sounds, and although she can turn over from her back to her tummy, she then gets stuck and cries. Hmm
I'm not worried about her, and I really don't think you should be worried about yours either.

LilyRose16 · 30/09/2016 08:45

tappity, I completely know what you mean! It's like having a baby turns some people into über competitive arseholes, I would never dream about bragging about what my baby can do! Half the time I think it's all made up anyway!

YouAreMyRain · 30/09/2016 08:58

I totally understand your concerns. My DS was born ten weeks early, had to be resuscitated for 12 minutes when he was born, in NICU for nearly two months etc

I was very worried about him, he had to have physio etc and the physiotherapists always seemed very negative with more and more targets, it really got me down. He hated tummy time, used to cry and face plant all the time. He didn't walk until he was nearly two!

He's three now and absolutely fine, as soon as he started walking he was running and climbing too!

It is a worry, especially when you've got a reason to look out for issues but the chances are your little one will be fine and things will have evened out in a year or so

Artandco · 30/09/2016 09:03

At 6 months mine were very much babies still. Laying in pram carrycot, playing on rug etc. They didn't have. Any food until 6 months so were just on milk until then. Then eating stuff like a piece of avocado or spoon of scrambled egg. Not three course meals