6 month old seems behind

[tappitytaptap]

My 6 month old DS is generally a happy smily chap. However I can't help thinking he seems behind friends babies and those of my NCT group. Whilst all these babies are eating 3 meals a day, sitting up unsupported, rolling all over the place and trying to crawl, DS seems mostly uninterested in solid food, can't sit up (well maybe for a few seconds then leans forward/to side and falls over), rolls very occasionally and is mostly thrashing around during tummy time with the odd push up. Its like he is still a little baby and they are all growing up. I should mention the one thing he doesn't seem behind on is he sleeps through the night. He seems reasonably strong physically in particular his legs - quite sturdy at standing and he will stand for a while just holding your hands, and fairly flexible in that he can easily get his feet in his mouth. I guess I might worry more than most as he had a small stroke at birth but we were advised after an MRI the issues that may come out of that could be subtle hand-eye coordination ones. His hand-eye coordination seems ok to me; grabbing and reaching for objects purposefully. Am I surrounded by advanced babies or is he very much behind what is expected for 6 month olds? I find myself not wanting to go to baby classes etc as the differences seem highlighted to me. I came home from the last one in tears and am thinking I should distance myself from my NCT group slightly as even the whatsapp message group we have just highlights how he is not progressing like the rest of them.

Candle they are all so different aren't they? I am hoping the consultant says he is fine. He suddenly seems to have had an increase in strength and holds his back up straighter so we are closer to the sitting I think. I know they develop in their own time but its so easy to feel anxious when you see other babies isn't it? I am sure there things DS is doing which those babies aren't though, but for me as an anxious person naturally, I tend to focus on the negative.

We had our consultant appt yesterday - all normal and happy with his progress. Length wise he is now on the 99th centile...there is no wonder its taking him longer to sit up! He did do it for 30 secs or so whilst we were there and they were relaxed, said longer periods will come and perfectly normal at this age not to be stable. He has started proper mama, baba type babbling too, which they said was good and quite early. Feeling pretty relieved.

tappify I can completely relate, although my DS has just turned 8 months today. I've got on really well with my NCT group and nobody is bragging per se, but seeing them altogether does make me worry mine is behind. They were all born within 2 weeks of each other, with mine the youngest, but he was 4 weeks prem (and in NICU for a few days). He's never babbled! He can sit but doesn't really like it, faceplants and cries into the carpet if put on his front, has rolled a few times but not recently or regularly at all, certainly never joined up rolls to move anywhere. He also doesn't seem to enjoy a lot of things the other babies do (thank god we only have one more week of baby sensory), so much so I found myself googling 'signs of autism in babies' the other day, (fortunately all the early signs like not smiling back at you or turning when you call doesn't apply.)

I keep telling myself not to compare but it is SO hard so I'm right here with you on the bench just trying to enjoy him being a baby.

You are bound to be watching him like a hawk developmentally after his stroke. Definitely mention your worries at his next clinic.

DGD isn't eating 3 meals a day yet (13 months), didn't sit up properly till 7 months and didn't crawl till nearly 8. She hardly babbled at all either. Now though she is walking, saying a few words, pointing at things, understands a heck of a lot, builds little duplo constructions, and can point to various body parts, give kisses if asked and wave bye bye at the right time. She really had a spurt in terms of a lot of things quite recently. She certainly was nowhere near saying mama and dada at 6 months!!!. I'd say now though that she's on track in a lot of ways and pretty bright in some others. All the babies of DD's friends varied a lot in terms of when the started to do things. Because of your little ones history it's worth mentioning it to put your mind at rest. He sounds lovely.

By the time we had the clinic the other day the only worry I really had was sitting, and they reassured me about that.
ThePug, it is SO hard not to compare isn't it! The stupid thing is, I don't focus on the things he is advanced in (one of the first to properly babble) but only worry about the things he is not doing (one of last to sit stably). He sits quite nicely then leans for an object or toy then topples. The consultant said once he has more strength he'll be able to get the toys without falling each time! I suspect my NCT group is just slightly on the physically advanced side reading other posts. However that doesn't help does it, you still worry. It us very hard when your child is last at something.... now I think he has a bit of catching up to do physically, am hoping it will make me less worried if he's last at sitting, crawling, walking etc.

I'm so glad the consultant appointment was good and reassuring - yay!

It's very hard not to get sucked into comparing when they babies are born so close together. It's NOT hard to keep your mouth shut with the comparing though and I'd definitely dump those that are indulging in weird competitiveness. Not good for your peace of mind at all, and not particularly nice either.

Your baby is only 6 months old. Which is still very tiny. Which means the mini stroke happened less than 6 months ago.

So, you went through this awful time when you were scared for your babies life... Just a few months ago.

When we have our babies, we tend to focus on them and see the world through them and through their needs and development. Which is fine of course! But you also need to focus on yourself and remember you've had a rough time only a few months ago, and you might well be feeling the effects of it. Be kind to yourself

Can anyone plz tell me what are these bumps on my baby? She is 6 months old . In afternoon it appear than vanished or can say get lighter.now again its showing. What is it? Is it cz of hot weather? Or she is taking medication for high fever she had for past 3 days but now she has no fever

Tappity so glad the appointment went well. That's brilliant news. :)

Yes Misc, it seems to be hitting me harder now. I wonder if I could talk to someone about it, that might help? I am still comparing him in my head to others, and every time someone tells me a new thing their baby can do, I feel a bit sad he seems (to me) to be a little behind. I know the consultant said not sitting for ages at his age is OK, but literally every single other baby his age I know is doing it, and he doesn't seem to be much closer. Perhaps he is working on the speech thing, repeating bababababba mammamama all the time, rather than movement, or else I'm just clutching at straws to explain.
Thanks dailymail.

Counselling might help? It took me ages to get over a horrible birth, and I found myself really 'stuck' in going over and over the events again and again, and feeling that fear and powerlessness in different and equally upsetting ways each time.

For me, counselling was the way I got through it.

And when I look back I got over it really quickly, it's just I had this expectation, and others did too, that the trauma goes away as soon as your baby is ok.

I'd go see your GP, see what they can do with regard to counselling?

I think I will see the GP Misc. I need to 'let it go' as it were. What kind of counselling did you have? Agree with you on the expectation thing - I need to talk about it with someone.

Sounds utterly normal.
As pp have said, with the greatest of respect to your friends there is some hefty exaggerating going on.

One thing I noticed with DC1 - my friends all had girls, and generally theyreach milestones faster at this age. If your mates have girls, doubly ignore.

BTW, with DC2 I was (not very secretly) smug when mine didn't move for a year.

Bobafatt, definitely in some quarters. He is the last of my NCT class to sit, as I have seen them all. However he is one of the most vocal and yesterday learnt to clap, so I suspect he is working on different things.
I had noticed too that girls seemed to be a bit faster generally. DS certainly knows his own mind and will only do what he wants when he wants. This bodes well for the toddler years right?!

Repeat to yourself how good it is to have a strong willed child, and how it will be a great asset for them in later life.
Keep repeating it.

I think that's a good idea, and of its not for you, that's fine & you can try something else.

But good to focus some of the limitless nurturing love you give your baby on her mummy too :)

It's good to recognise that yes, you've been through a really traumatic time and it makes very good sense to tend to the damage that's done.

Imagine any other awful thing happening, and there's no way you or anyone else would have expected it to have left no mark in the new months after. I felt ungrateful by having these raw feelings, and a lot of pressure to minimise the bad stuff, like your baby is some kind of cure-all-medicine! Pressure to be happy and contented, which I was, but all mixed in with being shaken and hurt inside.

I think especially with anything to do with your baby, any bad stuff can heighten that rush of hormones and emotional shift you get when you want to protect your tiny vulnerable little baby against a suddenly vast world. And that feeling of a complete lack of control at a time when you want beyond anything to be all- knowing and in control, to able to make everything ok for your baby and you.

I was terrified of DS stopping breathing when I was asleep/ not watching or holding him. A fear based on real stuff that happened, so not instrusive thoughts that came from nowhere, but still, a fear that kept me in those early terrifying moments. I had lots of half sensible/ half too much stuff I did (checking breathing, a lot), or that I kept thinking about and it was important to bring all that up to the surface but in a manageable way so I could deal with it, so I could slowly move on.

Although having said that, thinking about you and this thread has made me realise that I still check his chest is moving when I look in on him at night. And if I can't hear/see I'll creep up and put my hand on him until I'm reassured. So, um, perhaps I'm not quite as over it as I thought! Ahem. He's 6yrs old!!!

Anyway... I saw a person centred counsellor which was just what my GP referred me to, I think that was more suitable than cbt type stuff as that's less reflective.

I happened to get matched with a really great counsellor, and it was really helpful.

I probably could have gone through the health visitor and sought out specific post-natal support. That might be a good way in if you have a good hv?

Lastly, I've also read on Mumsnet that doing a review of birth medical notes through the hospital can be really helpful - I wonder if they'd do it for other medical events too?