6 month old seems behind

[tappitytaptap]

My 6 month old DS is generally a happy smily chap. However I can't help thinking he seems behind friends babies and those of my NCT group. Whilst all these babies are eating 3 meals a day, sitting up unsupported, rolling all over the place and trying to crawl, DS seems mostly uninterested in solid food, can't sit up (well maybe for a few seconds then leans forward/to side and falls over), rolls very occasionally and is mostly thrashing around during tummy time with the odd push up. Its like he is still a little baby and they are all growing up. I should mention the one thing he doesn't seem behind on is he sleeps through the night. He seems reasonably strong physically in particular his legs - quite sturdy at standing and he will stand for a while just holding your hands, and fairly flexible in that he can easily get his feet in his mouth. I guess I might worry more than most as he had a small stroke at birth but we were advised after an MRI the issues that may come out of that could be subtle hand-eye coordination ones. His hand-eye coordination seems ok to me; grabbing and reaching for objects purposefully. Am I surrounded by advanced babies or is he very much behind what is expected for 6 month olds? I find myself not wanting to go to baby classes etc as the differences seem highlighted to me. I came home from the last one in tears and am thinking I should distance myself from my NCT group slightly as even the whatsapp message group we have just highlights how he is not progressing like the rest of them.

I think it's worth talking through your concerns with your consultant but I really don't think your son sounds behind. My baby didn't get her first taste of food until six months so certainly wasn't in three meals a day by then. She wasn't sitting reliably for quite a while after that.

I know it's hard not to compare, particularly if your baby had a tough start (mine was growth restricted and prem, so I have been there!) but I honestly don't think you should be concerned.

This morning I gave him half a crumpet and some pieces of pear on his tray after he clamped his mouth shut for the spoon of puree. He seemed to chew and swallow some! I think we are going to skip purees and just let him crack on!

Baby Led Weaning for you then. If he's happy to have whatever you're eating on his tray and help himself then that's absolutely the way to go.

Eurochick its so worrying when they have a less than ideal start isn't it? I was very calm at the time but thinking back over my tiny boy covered in wires and tubes I'm not sure how I kept it together at the time. All my emotions have come out since I think in the form of anxiety.
Artandco, I was quite happy with him being a baby. He loves laying on the floor playing with his feet and his toys and laughing to himself. All my NCT class seem so anxious for them to grow up though and do the next 'thing'... weaning, sitting, crawling...I have a friend with a slightly older baby who is so much smaller than DS but she is sitting up and flipping around all over the place. Very hard to not compare and go with the flow, which I know is what I should do!

Ditch the baby group and ditch the problem i say;) At that age the groups are for you, not them, you don't need to worry about them socialising outside the family until much later. If you aren't getting anything out of it, don't go:) Sounds like you are the only one who actually has a realistic grip on what your child is and isn't doing. Sounds normal to me!

Find a different baby group.... most of the mums I know spent their time at that stage moaning about how much their babies were waking up at night etc etc, not boasting about their achievements. And they would all go out of their way to say positive things about each other's babies eg 'wow baby beginner is really smiley' just in a nice friendly way not as an excuse to talk about their own. So either you are (understandably) taking innocent comments the wrong way, or you need new mum friends. Also they are deluded if they think their 6 month olds are saying dada and mama. It did take me until 6 months to meet the mum I now get on best with so maybe try a different group. Mine was never really interested in crawling or rolling at that age but was very chatty so I think he just focused on communication first and did the physical stuff later.
Beware of the questionnaires the HVs use for their development checks as if you're already a bit anxious they won't help - I found them very ambitious for the ages they are supposed to be for - please don't worry if there are quite a few boxes he doesn't tick.

To be honest it is not ALL of the mums. But there are a few more competitive ones than I thought there might be! I do the same beginner, like ooh what a lovely cardi, beautiful smile etc. I like all of my NCT group but suspect some of them may be stretching the truth. Me and one of the other girls have confessed what we think about the boasting to each other and I am sure that some of it is just pride. I must admit the achievements they attribute to their babies seem a bit far fetched occasionally though. Smile and nod, smile and nod.

Well, mine was talking in sentences and walking by then.

Seriously OP your baby sounds fine.

Albert I suspect one of them will start soon with the walking...
Tonight we have the 'whose child eats the most' chat. Mine loses again!

Just smile and nod.

Babies don't say mama at six months. They may burble mamamamamama but they aren't speaking.

If you want to bug them though you could start coming up with highly unlikely achievements and joke about it. Might make them realise they're being a bit silly.

I have decided to leave the baby class I do and spend a bit more time just me and the baby, not seeing the people who make me feel bad. After another derogatory comparison of my DS to her DD today, I am going to distance myself from a friend. Not worth the upset.

Oh your baby sounds just fine.
Dd is 7.5 . 6 months corrected and she sounds similar to your ds.
I worry she is behind to but reading about your ds has put my mind at ease

Your baby sounds normal for
6 months. Neither of mine could properly sit up at 6 months and they definitely weren't eating 3 "meals" a day.
I also had some babies in our nct group who did seem fairly advanced,
3 years later though its balanced out.
Next time you see them be extra smug about the fact yours sleeps well. I'm super jealous

Frazzled, I'd never dream of being smug about the sleep! He might hear and decide to stop for a start...
I do wonder if I am part of a particularly advanced group. One of the boys a month older than DS was babbling dadadada today. DS does say 'broom' like a car though . DH thinks I am nuts and there are no major differences between them. I would just absolutely love if he learned to sit though

At six months they really are just babbling.

Loads of tummy time is useful for their core muscles. Of course once learns to sit then he'll crawl sooner or later and you'all be wishing he still stayed on one place 😉

I ducked out of NCT group meetings because of this btw. The competitiveness was awful. There is no point spending time with people who bring you down.

It's hard when people brag about how much their babies can do but try not to compare your baby to anyone else's all babies develop at different rates and achieve milestones at different times. Try not to worry and just enjoy your little one and marvel at all he does everyday!
Most babies are not sitting unaided or crawling at 6 months more like between 7 and 11 months!
All of my children have been different and achieved milestones at vastly different ages but everyone of them has reached those things with determination and was a pleasure to see!
I understand your worry as to him having a stroke my eldest had two when he was four years old and had to relearn everything walking, talking using his arm but has managed to lead a very normal life with hardly any noticeable problems.
In the early days after his strokes core stability was something his physio worked with him a lot! Ask your health visitor for some advice she will be able to speak to a physiotherapist and get information or refer so you can help him if he needs it in the future x

Happymum, hope your DS is doing OK now. One of the friends I met yesterday I think is always comparing and did this before we had babies. She used to go on and on about how small DS was when born. Yesterday there was another lady at the event we were at who asked if DS and her DD were the same age (her DD 4.5 mths older) as they are not dissimilar in size now. I said oh no, he's just going to be tall. I could tell she was annoyed by this and started saying oh DD can do x, y, z...the poor woman was just making conversation, she doesn't want a developmental run down! She bangs onto another friend about how small her DD is too, 'oh feels like I'm holding nothing'..what is the point? Do people need to feel better about themselves?? I just find it all so odd. Do people really have that little social skill that they don't realise they are basically putting down someone else's baby? There are a reasonable number of people for whom everything they say about their child is a thinly veiled boast. I am tempted to not say anything about his development to anyone any more and just smile when they are talking about how fabulous their children are!

Happymum, I am going to ask the consultant if she thinks he needs physio. We were seen after he'd been in NICU but the physio at that point said he was strong and didn't need a referral. He may just be getting there in his own time of course. I wasn't an early crawler or walker, not sure about DH.

He sounds like he's doing great! Honestly. If he was 12 months and doing the things u describe I'd say to speak to HV or GP for advice but it sounds like he's well on the way to sitting (it can happen over 2 days in the end) and walking even.

Couple of thoughts to add to the good stuff already said. Have you come across the phrase "food before 1 is just for fun" - ie nutritionally what counts is milk, you and your baby can find your own way through learning about food as and when ready.

I absolutely get where you're coming from on the physical stuff and can understand you will be more aware. The one possible thing that "he's really strong at standing" flagged up in my mind was that early standing can be seen in children who turn out to have a spastic diplegia - BUT your description of his flexibility completely and totally rules that one out. So he sounds to be be coming along beautifully. Keep going with the flow and if one group doesn't fit find another!

[I've put 2 and 2 together to make about 6 talking with my mother over the years and concluded that I did have a very mild spastic diplegia - my sitting was strange, my hips very stiff, and I didn't crawl normally though walked perhaps a little early. Always hopeless at running but nothing else so, so what?]

Tappitytaptap my DS is doing really well! Almost a teenager and has never let anything stop him! He learnt to write with his left hand after being right handed he has some minor physical problems such as a drop foot and shortened tendons in his right leg and isn't as dexterous with his right hand as other people but is a happy healthy lad who just tries his best at everything! I count my lucky stars that he is alive and happy and healthy at the end of the day I feel that is the most important thing in life :)
As for your friend it sounds like she is very insecure try not to take it to heart and just remember that everything your little boy achieves is a bonus as things could have been very different! Try not to over analyse his development and just encourage him to do all you can. Your consultant will refer him if he needs it so enjoy your baby and just cut this friend out if it gets too much

I'm glad you've decided to give up on that group a bit OP - I went to 4 different baby groups when mine was small, and while I found 2 of them extremely difficult because I generally do find groups of new people extremely difficult (and I was a bit loopy at the time anyway - my baby did not sleep!), I genuinely didn't come across parents being competitive or downright rude as some of your examples sound. Please believe me that not all groups have to be like this!

(Incidentally, I clicked on your thread thinking of a friend of mine who has a toddler with global development delay; I was remembering her early months with her baby as she tried to work out whether he was developmentally typical or not, and how unhelpful it was to hear from people "oh, babies are all different, I'm sure he's fine" etc in misguided attempts to reassure her. So, with that in mind - absolutely do raise concerns with those qualified to judge, but on the strength of what you've posted here your baby sounds very, very normal.)

(I bit my tongue when an acquaintance started posting on FB about her baby saying "mama" at that age. I'm sure she believed it, but it's just noises when they're so young. Developmentally appropriate noises, learning how to talk, but not in a million years meaning "mama"!)

Oh, to add - the baby groups I went to were all mixed ages - I think two of them it was a "no walkers" group but apart from that they were a mix of ages, which maybe helped? If they're all born within a month or two of each other as I'd imagine is true at NCT groups, perhaps that lends itself to comparing.

Just a quick message I'll be back but my nearly 8 month old doesn't even sit up yet, she's my third so I know my other two did everything at different times! Honestly what their baby is slow at your find your bubba will pick up in a few days x