School called social services!!!

[larson]

I am totally outraged.
There is absolutely no hints within our happy middle class family that there might be any child abuse going on. However, the door rung today and when I opened I was greeted by two ladies from the social services who informed me that the school reported possible child abuse in our family. They asked to interview each family member alone, in a separate room including my 4 and 6yr old kids. Although they could not find anything 'suspicious' they have to continue their investigation, including contacting police, local agencies, seeing the kids further in school and doing more home visits.
Apparently the teacher asked my 4yrs old what do her parents do when she is naughty and she told them how daddy beat her brother once when he was naughty. Off course there is absolutely no beating going on in the house, and both kids a very happy children!

The school had never raised any concerns with either of the parents and I am so upset and frustrated with this situation!

Hi Larson, try to bear in mind that the teacher was only following protocol and it would not have been personal (although I'm sure it feels like it!). It is unlikely that she actually took the decision to make the referral; she would have passed on the details of the conversation with your child to the school safeguarding lead, who referred to social care (speaking to someone in Children's Services for advice first, you would hope).

It may help to speak directly to the school safeguarding lead, rather than address it with the teacher, as you need to maintain a good relationship with her for the sake of your daughter - and your emotions are understandably running high.

You are also at will to request a copy of the referral (through social care).

Hi Larson, I really feel for you. I would do what Gerty said but you're going to have to try and put it behind you. Other posters were right to say that abuse happens in all families whatever background. I have had some experience of working in schools and sometimes children do disclose things to you out of the blue that you need to record and report to safeguardimg lead. I do think the teacher was wrong to ask the leading question. I have only done level 1 child protection and know that this is definitely the wrong approach. Hope this is all resolved and you can get back to normal.

Can I say the teacher was not presumptuous.. Sometimes it is simply following procedure.. It will of been counted as a direct disclosure.. It really will not of been nice for you. I can remember my DS injuring himself.resulting in his needing to attend hospital .. There were plenty of wtinesses and he had told people what happened..Then another mum ( who already knew what happened) asked him what he did..He replied. My Mum did it.. If he had said this to someone else it could of been a different situation.

The teacher did the right thing to pass info onto safeguarding lead, but WHY did she feel it was appropriate or justified to ask one four year old child how their parent's punish them? Can any teachers explain if this is the norm because it seems incredibly intrusive to me.

Try not to worry about what the teacher thinks. My DD's teacher reported that DD comes to nursery hungry (she was going through a phase of refusing breakfast) because she had to, its protocol, even though I knew the teacher pretty well and I doubt she had any real concerns. We still get on well since then and I trust her completely.

Witchywoohoo - it is absolutely NOT the norm. In fact, in compulsory safeguarding training, it is drilled in to staff that asking leading questions is not appropriate, as it undermines any subsequent disclosure.
If a child volunteers information of this sort, staff may probe with statements such as "tell me more" but must never ask a leading question.

Thanks gerty . That seems sensible.

my God! Hope things get better, they’ll soon see that they don’t need to be with you anymore than they should, there are more important things they should be doing tbh..