School called social services!!!

[larson]

I am totally outraged.
There is absolutely no hints within our happy middle class family that there might be any child abuse going on. However, the door rung today and when I opened I was greeted by two ladies from the social services who informed me that the school reported possible child abuse in our family. They asked to interview each family member alone, in a separate room including my 4 and 6yr old kids. Although they could not find anything 'suspicious' they have to continue their investigation, including contacting police, local agencies, seeing the kids further in school and doing more home visits.
Apparently the teacher asked my 4yrs old what do her parents do when she is naughty and she told them how daddy beat her brother once when he was naughty. Off course there is absolutely no beating going on in the house, and both kids a very happy children!

The school had never raised any concerns with either of the parents and I am so upset and frustrated with this situation!

" However, the door rung today and when I opened I was greeted by two ladies from the social services who informed me that the school reported possible child abuse in our family. They asked to interview each family member alone, in a separate room including my 4 and 6yr old kids "

1. the school would have told you first
2. the SW would not have said that on the doorstep.

Did you see their ID?

what rafals said YY

AF is right - social workers did their job.

BTW, there is a reason why there's a stereotype around middle-class parenting and social services (which they cynical side of me would think the OP was playing up to).

SS has obviously improved hugely. But when I was a child, I had a social worked tell me, quite bluntly and in front of my parents, that this was obviously a happy, secure home where I was very lucky, and that many children didn't have the nice things I had. The implication was very much that, since my home was so 'nice', there could be no problems.

This was not the case.

There is no way you would get referred for just a one off comment in the playground to an adult - there is clearly more to this story than this .......

mrsdevere usually that's referencing when the school has concerns that they've witnessed such as child turning up dirty and hungry. When it comes to something like this I'm assuming the school will have taken direction from social services in not informing the parents in order to ensure they can speak to the children before anybody has a chance to put anything else in their heads.

I agree it's odd they let the child go home though.

Deal with it and take the opportunity to listen to what is being investigated here. One of your kids described being "beaten" . Whether this is true or not, importantly this is how the child perceives it - beaten. Rather than go on the defensive, try and understand that Social Services have a job to do and Teachers have a duty of care. Learn from it - for the greater good of all concerned.

I can appreciate that this must have been a horrible shock for you and hopefully it will all be over soon. It does sound like a misunderstanding from what you've described

Abuse does happen in 'nice' middle class homes though. I experienced it myself and I know other people who have. A lot can go on behind a 'nice' middle class facade (NOT saying this is what is happening here at all - just pointing out that it can and does happen).

I would not be annoyed with social services doing their jobs. I would be concerned about a teacher asking a four year old leading questions and would be finding out the circumstances of this.

My almost three year old blames me for everything at the moment - she will be in the playroom and will fall over her feet and shout at me (in the kitchen) "you did that on purpose!" !!!! Literally no where near her. Another time she cried because I wouldn't leave her sleeping in the car when I went to pick up her brother. When one of the other mums asked why she was sad she told them that me and her dad had just hit her on the head - never mind the mind the fact that the other mum had just walked us from the car and her dad was about 60 miles away!!!!

Now that I think about it, I'm surprised social services told you straight away where the referral had come from and that you weren't called into the school when it happened

Reading this thread, I am glad to hear that the school has taken their safeguarding responsibilities seriously. After what your son has said, it is the absolute right thing to make a referral to social services. We sadly hear of too many instances when safeguarding concerns have not been raised, with tragic consequences.

Op, social services are doing their job by investigating. If there is nothing untoward, the case will be closed with no further action.

The teacher should not have asked such a leading question as it undermines any disclosure made.

I am a school safeguarding lead and I always always contact parents to inform them that I have made a referral to Children's Services and why, unless I have reason to believe that doing so might put the child in danger - in these cases, I do not allow the child to leave with the parent at the end of the school day. It is an awful conversation to have but at least the parent does not receive the shock of a social worker turning up out of the blue.

Social workers do not work with families who they deem not to need support so you may find that the issue is very quickly resolved.

So everyone else is fine with two randoms on the doorstep saying they're from ss and wanting to talk to your kids unsupervised?

I would not be ok with that.

no, reallyanotherone, I would not have been fine. It sounds really weird.

Can I ask a question about safeguarding ? If it was reported to a school that a parent regularly carried children in their car without carseats would you expect them to do something about it other than advise the person to just report it to the police?

Well I work in a school Mrs deVere and Children make all sorts of comments but unless there was something else to raise suspicions such as bruises and or behaviour issues etc it would be noted but directly sent SS

I have been referred to SS a few times (no fault but complex situation) and each time the professional involved has contacted me first to tell me that a referral is being made. Then they have made an appointment to come out if required.

Have you spoken to the school? Did you check these people's ID or phone their office/MASH team? It sounds really dodgy, also the children being interviewed alone, poor things!

There are fake social workers and I'm really concerned. It doenst sound right to me.

Are there really fake social workers? I have never heard of this. Does anyone have any links to any news articles or anything?

I thought social service would be breaching confidentiality revealing who had reported the child? All a bit strange. I wonder if it's different for each council.

Also, you do not mention what time this happened, whether it was after school or during the school day. What happened next? Have you contacted the school? How did these two 'ladies' leave it?

I agree with wizzy, one comment alone would be very unlikely to be referred, much less acted upon with a home visit!

I recently referred my exH who had hit DD around the head during contact (illegal!) which he had admitted to me! It was seen as low priority and no visit was made, no one spoke to DD, after two weeks of me chasing them, someone from SS eventually rang him to tell him no to do it again.

I have also referred children in a professional capacity where they have been visibly injured and saying that a named relative assaulted them and SS told us to write it down, no action taken.

One comment from a child to lead to this? Very odd.

Is it me? The whole way this has been dealt with is arse about tit. You should never ask a child leading questions. Wtf is the school playing at? Unless there's more to this op I think this is outrageous and the system definitely isn't working.