End of tether!

[Dementedswan]

I'm at the end of my tether with my just turned 5 year old. He is sweet, loving, intelligent and a joy to be around until he turns into a stubborn screaming banshee.

Every single bedtime turns into a stand off. Not the going to bed part, the putting on pyjamas part. He will mess around act the fool etc. Basically anything to avoid getting changed. I've tried 1,2,3 remove toy, pleading with him, star charts even bribery nothing works and he just screams at me. I'm ashamed to say I lost it with him tonight and put him in his room telling him he can come out when he has his pjamas on. An hour of screaming he finally complies and everyone is strung out.

It's not just getting dressed for bed, that's just one example, it's getting dressed for anything. Even for things he wants to go to like parties etc.

Yet if he wants to he can be dressed in a flash.

Why?! How can we solve this?

Be dressed less?? Not the most helpful suggestion but my nearly 5 year old is dressed for school and that is pretty much it. Once we are in the house he is naked. Sometimes he'll wear clothes but often not a full set.
School clothes are different. There is nothing else to be done, no telly, no food he has to put them on. Some cajoling is necessary but also I sell it as a non negotiable thing like holding my hand to cross the road.

Sorry if that doesn't help!

I think his sporting tutor would be rather surprised if he showed up in that state.

He has a sibling too and I can't let him make them miss their activities/days out because of his behaviour.

I feel really bad for loosing it with him tonight, but the screaming had the whole family shouting over it to be heard. What a nightmare!

I would do the same again tonight. If he's messing about, in his room until he's dressed. With dd1 (nearly 6) l need to be consistent with my expectations and her punishment. Once she knows her boundaries she's happy to push them

If you have tried everything and nothing works, then ... do more of what works. I know it is not ideal, but he is old enough to understand consequences and how to avoid them.