So, how did our parents do it then?!

[Luckystar1]

I'm intrigued really.

We often get 'advice' from people, especially our own parents/grandparents, in relation to bringing up our children.

For example, the most recent thing from my father, is that I'll have to 'wean the baby off that soon' in relation to the baby (6 weeks) wanting to be constantly held and be in the sling. I also have a 22 month old so it mostly works for us all (although in fairness I would like to be able to put her down occasionally!)

I know for a FACT there is no way my parents did or would've carried me round constantly, so how did they do it?!

This is also in relation to things like getting us to sleep through the night etc.

The advice is given out as though it was so easy/obvious... So how did they do it?!

I'd be very interested to hear from those of my parent's generation (late 50s early 60s) as to how children were raised.

Ive reads parenting manuel written in the 1930s.

It said to feed baby at 6am, 12pm, 4pm and 8pm. (Breastfed as formula wasn't as widespread then?)

Babies were tightly swaddled (detailed instructions) and put out in prams with cat nets compulsory.

Weaning was from 12 weeks.

This was how my parents born 40s/50s were raised.

Eggy I'm here holding my 6 week old, who is feeding when she wants, watching those poor twins. Wtaf do they think they're doing?! I would be FURIOUS if anyone suggested I did this, or if I knew (and they could easily look this up when they're older!) my parents did anything like this to have a few hours in the evening for a few months. Ffs!

Lucky I couldn't believe the fall of her when the baby was crying and she stopped the grandmother from picking her up and acted all pissed off because she's said no visitors for the first week If that was my mum, I can picture her shoving that maternity nurse out of the way and giving my Dd a proper good snuggling

This is such an interesting thread!

From the little experience I have of babies (DD is four months!) I think that different babies suit different parenting methods. There's no one method that works for all of them.

I didn't make a choice to parent in any particular way. But it's obviously attachment parenting, fourth trimester etc which is in vogue at the moment and that's what I absorbed most when I was pregnant.

After she was born, it took me a good few weeks to work out that DD actually doesn't particularly want to be held all the time. In fact she finds it quite annoying.

I have been extremely lucky in that DD is a fairly easy baby, so my house is generally pretty clean, groceries have been bought, washing has been done etc. I'm also not actually that tired. I would never, ever admit to this in real life. People seem to expect that having even one baby means having a really messy house, no sleep and no time to get dressed or wash your hair. It's the complete opposite to expectations of mums in previous generations.

I do of course realise that my luck is due to run out very soon and DD will almost certainly morph into a nightmare toddler/child/teenager!

I have an old baby raising book from the 1940's. It is quite shocking! Training your baby from day one. Put baby in his room at 7pm and do not open the door until 6am otherwise you are making a rod for your own back. Also, putting a baby on the potty from birth. The coldness of the potty will encourage baby to wee and will wee on command when done at each nappy change. Very interesting.

Oh, I did a bit of that potty stuff with DS when he was born in 2008! It's quite popular in Attachment Parenting circles. It's called elimination communication now... you aren't supposed to use a cold potty particularly, but it is true you can get them to wee on command and save yourself some nappies.

"Back in the 80s"
I was a month premature in the early 60s. Apparently the hospital nursery put me on a four hourly routine.

This is interesting. I remember having a similar conversation with my mum after I had dd. She had my brother in 1975 when she was 17 and was firmly told by doctors that she should only feed him every 4 hours and should just let him cry. She said she hated it and found the whole experience really difficult and stressful, but was too young to feel able to question it.

When she had me 7 years later it was completely different. She bf on demand and never left me to cry. Though I didn't co-sleep with her, she did say I usually ended up in my step-sister's bed by morning.

With dd I basically ended up 'attachment parenting' (though I dislike the label) for the same reasons as you. She was a clinging baby with reflux and it was just easier to carry her about in a sling and co-sleep. I personally didn't feel comfortable leaving her to cry.

When I had my first my mum told me regarding feeding "10 mins on either side then not again for at least 3 hours"
Perhaps unsurprisingly her milk supply was low and I was formula fed from 5/6 weeks. I was also given baby rice in the bottle from 6 weeks.

My mum used to put me out in the garden in my pram all morning so she could do housework. She says when she had my sister she used to cry all night and she remarked to the neighbour how I had never cried like that. The neighbour laughed and said I used to cry all morning instead.

Mil says she spent 10 days in hospital after each of hers. The babies were kept in the nursery and brought to Mil for (bottle) feeding. At night the nurses would do the feeds.

She says she would feed hers and put them down in their cot/moses and leave them til the next feed. DP incredulous asked 'but what did we do when you just put us down like that?' Mil couldn't really remember but thinks they just went to sleep. She says they never cried after 3 months.

This was 70s/80s.

I thought I'd have babies that you fed and put down tbh. But none of mine have been like that. Dd1 the most so but even so not before 6 months I would say. Like the op I'm not sure how it happens. When you have a baby that you put down and they cry (not a grumbley pre sleep type cry but a full on proper cry) Shushing/patting/pram rocking doesn't work...They only stop when picked up. I have been able to put mine down but it's never been a case of change feed back down as tiny babies. Sometimes they've gone down easily, other times not. They have never been fooled by warming the cot, making it smell of me etc either, they're not stupid ;-)