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Original poster

Teenager refusing to go to school

13 replies

Leisel2 · 13/09/2016 09:37

Anyone else having this problem ? 14 nearly 15 yr old not going to school we have tried a managed move it hasn't worked she says she has aniexty about bullying she lies to professionals so they think there isn't a problem I'm at the end of my tether !!! It will go to legal now as she has to go back to the original high school she is also very rude to me and can be volatile 😢😢

OP posts:
Emochild · 13/09/2016 09:40

Are you me?

Can't offer advice as we are right in the middle of it

New school, went once, back to total refusal

No one talks about this stuff but you aren't alone

Original poster
Leisel2 · 13/09/2016 09:46

Oh thank god !!!
It's been a nightmare been going on though since yr8 and we are Yr10 now I'm so worried it's affecting everything !!
She lies steals but is clever enough to be nice when she wants something I have been onto the school ( original) one and they advise family support worker again Ugggh

OP posts:
Emochild · 13/09/2016 13:22

We've been at camhs again this morning -no advice or answers there

Family support worker a listening ear but not much else

Ninasimoneinthemorning · 13/09/2016 13:25

Bucket of water?

Original poster
Leisel2 · 13/09/2016 13:31

This is crazy !
Family support listening ear .. Check same for me
I e had to do all calls to the local council truancy dept so the lady can get prevention team onto it Ugggh what good that will do my daughter will go to meetings and nod and agree then outside says I'm not going!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Leisel2 · 13/09/2016 13:40

Still waiting for the school to get back I touch as of today my daughter is between schools and is at home while I'm frantically trying to sort stuff for her as well as trying to work.
The school said camhs would go to school to speak to her this is before the managed move I was like great so how do I get her there then ?? Umm she won't get out of bed and I'm not being funny It's not easy to motivate a teenager let alone move her water umm thought about it but I'd end up with a wet teenager mouthing off. Already got rid of the tv sky etc so it's not so easy to stay at home. And put a lock on my bedroom door this is not what I thought life would be like :(

OP posts:
Emochild · 13/09/2016 17:41

The fact is you can't physically make her go -and she knows it

Unless people have lived it they don't get it

Lots of people will say 'have you tried....?'
Like you've been sat on your arse doing nothing about it

Sometimes you just want someone to say 'I know it must be hard but I can see you are trying'

You imagine the teenage years to be tough but the feelings of failing as a parent while worrying about your child's future are incredibly hard to cope with

Original poster
Leisel2 · 14/09/2016 07:18

Yep totally agree feeling helpless once again

OP posts:
worldsworstchildren · 14/09/2016 07:51

Been there don't that with second daughter 10 years ago. It's awfully upsetting when you're in the middle of it and makes you feel like a failure. I spent half my life crying to her teachersBlush
I was so worried about her future. But after a few (sorry) years she began to get her life back on track. Nothing can make up for those lost years of education but she is starting her second year of uni this month - undertaken of her own volition so there is light at end of tunnel.
It's a power struggle and they know you can't physically make them plus all the nonsense spouted by herb counsellor about her 'rights' to assert herself drove me insane.
Flowersfor you in the meantime. Keep posting here. It might just save your sanity.

worldsworstchildren · 14/09/2016 07:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whynewnham · 14/09/2016 07:59

Have you thought about something like interhigh? Some local authorities will cover the cost (around 2-3000 per year) and it means she won't be missing out on her education but can have a break from attending school. She would be registered as home schooled but for my LEA at least, you don't have to stay home with her all day, it is your call how long she is okay being left to work by herself.
Might be tricky if you work long hours but could fit in well with part time work?
Good luck- it must be a miserable situation for both her and you.

Original poster
Leisel2 · 14/09/2016 10:04

Thank you so much for replying .. Add into the mix her dad died a few months ago doesn't help either but don't be fooled this was going on before that happened .. It's crazy im now waiting on her original school to get back in touch to tell me what's going on .. This is my second daughter too it's hard as her behaviour alienated her from her friends she does have some social difficulties I think but no teacher or prof will agree .. It's so hard to see that the happy well spoken 5 yr old has turned into teenage monster driving me mad giving me more wrinkles lol and I'm battling against all manner of professionals telling me how my daughter is!!!!!! Grrrrrr but not one of them has helped !!! Funny that

OP posts:
Emochild · 14/09/2016 12:44

In our case the professionals disagree which doesn't help

ed psych says we should be working at getting her back into mainstream school

camhs say we should be looking at home schooling (interhigh) to give chance to work on the social difficulties before transition to 16+ provision

Inter high is only a possibility if the local authority agree to fund it -if the ed psych doesn't support it I can't see them agreeing at the MAP meeting

I've spent 18 months battling with this -I cannot do it for another 18 months!

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