Should I give DD a dummy?

[maybethedayafter]

She's 12 weeks (5 weeks corrected) and we said we weren't going to give her a dummy after DD1 had one and we regretted it. DD2 cries/screams all evening as she has possible colic or reflux (which we've started medication for this week). She is exclusively breastfed but it's hit and miss whether that will soothe her when she's crying. We sometimes give her a finger to suck but that's hit and miss too. We have a dummy and I have sterilised it and I was just on the brink of giving it to her yesterday and then she stopped crying.

I know it's personal choice but what would you do? Or indeed, what did you do?

Do it. I didn't with DS1. Hated dummies and there was no way my child was having one. He had reflux and we just persevered. With DS2 I was exhausted from having a newborn and a toddler so we gave in and he had a dummy. Best thing we did. He weaned himself off it at 6 months.

Did it help soothe him with the reflux? I think sometimes DD wants to suck for comfort but it's uncomfortable laying down. With a dummy we could sit her up/hold her upright and she could suck at the same time.

Yes. Do what you need to comfort and soothe your tiny babe.

I think your baby's comfort now is the most important thing. You can think about weaning them off it again when they are (much) older. I'd have given mine dummies like a shot, we were just lucky that they never needed them. Dummies are not crystal meth.

I was in same position. DD is 9 weeks (5 weeks corrected) and has silent reflux. Noticed she is sucking on hand for comfort and HV advised to use a dummy. Started a few days ago. Noticed already that she is starting to cry for the dummy. I'm trying to limit the use though for only when nothing else will stop her crying!

Can I ask why you regretted it with your first DC?

I gave DD a dummy as soon as the midwife was out of sight! She said they don't need dummies (but she also had no kids)

If it helps give the Dummy.

Just give her the dummy!

Honestly I don't get the angst over a bloody dummy

It is a comfort item.

Dd loved her dummy. Ds unfortunately never accepted one even though we tried

I'm in agreement with all the other wise posters above. If it'll help, do it. Their comfort and your sanity are the most important things at this stage. They have been a life saver with both of my DCs (for different reasons). I felt guilty for all of a day or so with DD1, but then I noticed the changes and knew it was the right decision. With DD2 I had none of the guilt and gave her one as early as I felt comfortable doing so alongside bf (around 4wks).

I am saying this as someone who has gone through months taking the thing away - give it!

My dd had reflux which saw us spending a week in hospital with her being tube fed blah blah blah.

One of the paediatritians was examining her at one point and tersely said "where is this child's dummy?" At the time I was not keen and muttered about teeth and various other things. Long story short she got one and her tiny wee face softening into relief and relaxation would make me do it again over and over.

I would try removing by 2 all going well given my time again though

Same as PP I don't understand the angst with giving a child a soother hate the term dummy
Both my dc had one from birth. Dd was 3 when we took it off, her we had one night of upset. Ds just stopped looking for his when he was 2.
Neither had or have speech problems or teeth problems if that's what you're worried about maybe ?

I would've given both of mine a dummy (and I can't stand them) but neither would take one. Both had colic and finger sucking worked okay until breastfeeding became a comfort thing at around 12 weeks.

Another one here who thinks just give her the dummy. We were that couple who were adamant our child wouldn't have one ( just don't like the look of them in babies mouth) but after 4 weeks of a baby latched to me 24/7 and using my boobs constantly to soothe my mum insisted we try a dummy. Best plan ever, life became easier after that. It was the only thing that soothed him during teething too. He's now just turned 2 and uses it occasionally at night only. I'm pregnant with DC2 and have no issues encouraging it again!!

Thanks all. My resistance is because DD1 still has hers for sleeping at 2 and a half. We didn't want her to have one either but she was 12 weeks early and it was recommended to help her learn to suck.

I think as well its because lots of people are judgemental about it. It's almost like you're a shit parent if you give your baby a dummy. Or like you didn't try hard enough not to.

Anyway, we did try to give it to her yesterday and she wasn't overly keen. When she was really upset it seemed to wind her up more. We'll try again.

Don't worry about what other people think. My DS had a dummy, he finally gave it up at night time the night before he turned 4. We had no tears, no fuss. He's always done things in his own time and we've encouraged that. He's now 5.5 and his speech is excellent. No teeth problems either. Am due DC2 any day now and won't hesitate to try a dummy.

Stuff what people think.

It's you that's got to deal with an upset fractious child not them

My Dd had her dummy until she was just over 3. She doesn't have it now and doesn't miss it.

We don't rush taking away special teddies. We don't rush taking away special blankets. We don't rush potty training or weaning. We do everything else to the child's pace

Why is the dummy any different?

My dd still had her dummy at 3 for sleeping she didnt go to school with it. a Dummy is a comfort it does help when they have the need to suck if you Dd had a comfort blanket you wouldn't be regretting her having it, Try your baby with a dummy it might help.