For those with 3 DC's or more - do you have to be incredibly organised and dedicated to have a relaxed evening with your dh?

[josben]

I just had DD1 6 months ago, I've got DS1 (5) and DS2 (4) and i can't seem to get on top of anything, i've piles of washing / ironing etc... I've gone back to the daily routines that i had before i had dd1 (some days coffee with friends or go to a toddler group, some days i do stay in and try to catch up with housework. ) But i'm wondering if this is realistic now - with more mess to clear washing to do, maybe i should be a more dedicated housewife !!

Those of you with 3 or more do you have to be very very disciplined and organised so that you do not end up doing housework, packed lunches etc in the eve - when i should be relaxing with dh?

older kids tidy playroom before bed, thats the worst room. dh does ds3 bedtime routine, i do ds1&2. they are all in bed by 7.30. i wash lunchboxes after this but everything else is forgotten until the following day when i usually do washing up, tidying, washing etc. 'usually' being an important word! i think you just have to decide whats important to you. our house is a long way off immaculate (its clean but fairly cluttered), i never iron, but i do get to relax in the evenings. well, for another 2 weeks i get to relax and then ds4 is due, no idea how things will work out when that happens!

I had three under 3.5 at one point.
Just leave the housework. It will get easier when your third is older. It really is impossible to maintain a tidy house with three little ones. And utterly, utterly soul destroying. If you did get it tidy it would be ripped apart the next day.
I'd say it's absolutely essential that you have a couple of hours to yourself in the evening. I used to stay up far to late just so I could. I think this is undoubtedly the most difficult phase so be really kind to yourself.