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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

Do you think you're a better parent than your parents were with you?

58 replies

DetentionGrrrl · 01/02/2007 13:42

I think it's pretty common to hear people say that they will never say or do certain things that their parents did, but do you think you make a better parent than your parents were with you as a child?

I think i'm better than my Dad was (unapproachable, grumpy, not hands on, treated us like a hinderance) but not as good as my mother was (she is far more patient, and swears much less!)

OP posts:

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WigWamBam · 01/02/2007 13:45

Yes, I do. I couldn't be any worse and I actually set out to be everything my mother wasn't.

BarbieLovesKen · 01/02/2007 14:13

Yeah, might sound very self-praising but I definately think im a better parent - like wigwambam, I intentionally parent the opposite of the way my mother raised me!! (oooh feel bad for sounding so disloyal - she did her best (kinda))I think maybe we learn by our parents mistakes?

Aloha · 01/02/2007 14:15

God, yes.

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Justaboutmanaging · 01/02/2007 14:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BigHotMama · 01/02/2007 14:24

Not been a parent for long enough yet (5 months) so maybe I shouldnt be on this thread but I like to plan ahead

My parents didnt really tell me they love me but sort of expected me to know that they do? I plan to tell my ds I love him all the time.

My dad turns his head when I kiss him goodbye? Hate that! Also never had cuddles from him. I will give my ds loads of cuddles.

Will definately not smack either as I got smacked as a punishment when i was young by mom and dad.

KathyMCMLXXII · 01/02/2007 14:24

Mine were all right, I think.
I'm not going to start comparing in case I start thinking my mum was better than me - she is certainly brilliant with her grandchildren.

NotAnOtter · 01/02/2007 14:25

could not fail but to be

TenaLady · 01/02/2007 14:26

Well in a different way yes. My parents were very victorian and therefore it was really strict. I can appreciate it now but it wasnt much fun at the time.

I am more of a friend with my son but I have to say I do suffer the consequences of this friendly approach and sometimes ponder whether I should of been a little more Victorian.

Fauve · 01/02/2007 14:27

Blimey, I should think so.

TenaLady · 01/02/2007 14:28

I was left pretty much to my own devices as a child, we didnt do much as a family.

That is another thing I have changed. I would of loved the oppportunities the kids get now and I make sure he gets a taster of each to enable him to decide what he really likes. Lucky boy!

Peachy123 · 01/02/2007 14:28

My mum brought us up on her own for a good few years with my idiot father never contributing but appearing every once in a while to be the "hero" dad and take us to macdonnalds...... its only when im older with kids that i realise what an arse he is and how wonderfully strong my mum was- i hope im half as good a mother as my mum is.

CntingSainsburys · 01/02/2007 14:29

good lord I certainly hope so

dejags · 01/02/2007 14:30

definitely better.

that doesn't mean much as there was no competition to start off with though

Ceolas · 01/02/2007 14:31

Different in a few respects.

But not better.

whatisthepoint · 01/02/2007 14:32

I grew up in a war zone, constant rowing & bickering TBH my parents were always at each others throats and I hated it - I NEVER row or argue with DH in front of DD.

foxinsocks · 01/02/2007 14:33

it'd be hard not to be

Saturn74 · 01/02/2007 14:37

Not better, but certainly very different.
I am much more tactile with my children, and allow them a say in what we do as a family.
I also apologise if I have been unfair or made a mistake.

foxinsocks · 01/02/2007 14:38

I still don't think I'm particularly good at it though but my children are OK so I must be doing something right!

southeastastra · 01/02/2007 14:39

no mine were better!

tirnanog · 01/02/2007 14:39

I think I'm more involved than my parents were,but I don't think I'm doing a better job-just doing things differently.All parents do the best they can.

franca70 · 01/02/2007 14:44

No, my parents are great. and also you always end up making mistakes. I'm different, but not better.

grouchyoscar · 01/02/2007 14:58

Certainley far better. I don't randomly strike my child because I'm that way out/he looks like his dad/I'm having a bad day.

As a parent I can now appreciate that it was hard for my mum on her own but I know that parenting is hard and frustrating for all parents at some time. It didn't give her the right to use me and my brother as punchbags/psychological play things did it?

berrycherry · 01/02/2007 15:07

better - I was a latch key kid at 6!!! However my parents made me who I am,and I love my mum dearly and would do anything for her (Dad is dead, but still great)

batters · 01/02/2007 15:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Greensleeves · 01/02/2007 15:16

Um - no, not really. It's more complicated than that really.

Mind you, my judgement may be coloured by the fact that I have just been a real grumpy heartless bitch towards my poor ill 4yo

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