Baby won't stop crying!

[user1471449434]

Just that really. My son is 4 weeks tomorrow & unless he is feeding he cries. It's a really angry cry as well. He's so hard to settle to sleep, fights it all the time. I'm breastfeeding (using nipple shield due to problems with latch), & basically what happens is he cries, I feed him, he seems content for all of 5-10 mins, I try winding him, he cries, I give him the other boob, seems content, if we're lucky he'll sleep for an hour, cries again etc. He doesn't do any hunger cues, just an angry cry. We're staying at my mums the now because my husband & I just couldn't cope but now I'm thinking my parents are getting overwhelmed with the fact he just won't stop crying. We've literally tried everything, he doesn't like anything - pram, car seat, bouncer (on vibrate), swaddling, hot water bottle in moses basket, skin to skin, infacol. We're at our wits end. We've got an appointment at a cranial osteopathy on Monday and we're basically pinning all our hopes on that working (he was a forceps delivery). I know people will say he just wants to feed all the time but he seems more uncomfortable than hungry!

That sounds really hard, good idea staying with your folks for a bit to share the stress of the never ending crying. Fingers crossed the osteopath helps. I can't even think of anything to advise because it sounds like you've tried everything. Could he be really hard to wind? My DS never needed to be winded, DD is 11 weeks and it takes a good amount of effort to wind her. We've had some days of hysterical crying, I talked it through with a pal who said it sounded like she wasn't getting enough sleep and that I needed to be really onto it with sleep cues and getting her into bed before she's yawning and fidgeting. Oh, what about putting his cot/Moses basket at a slight tilt so he's not lying flat. If it's reflux that might help. So sorry you're going through this, hard to find time to enjoy your baby when every waking moment is a battle.

It sounds like wind to me. Keep.him.up.Ok your shoulder for as long as it takes! Failing that I hope the cranial ostepath helps.

Is he gaining weight o.kay? I would speak to the GP or HV as it sounds like a possible supply issue or pain.

It maybe that he is over tired rather than hungry, how much sleep is he getting?

We spend ages trying to wind him, & tried all the positions & do bicycles with his legs etc. He has been putting weight on & has plenty of wet & dirty nappies. He gets weighed again on Tuesday. There's definitely a latch issue, got an appointment with the breastfeeding advisor on Tuesday as well who is going to watch him feed. I think overtiredness is part of the problem as well but he fights sleep so hard, & as soon as he's in his moses basket he wakes up (tried raising it & having a hot water bottle to warm sheets up). It's just so hard, doesn't help that I'm suffering from post natal anxiety & only just starting to feel physically better after being cut twice.

It's so difficult, he sounds exactly like my DS2 right down to the forceps delivery. We didn't go but I spent a lot of time googling cranial osteopathy.
If he wasn't feeding he was crying, no one could soothe him, no one could hold him, nothing worked but bf. In the end that"s just what I did. I got comfy on the sofa during the days and fed, fed, fed. I watched box sets and read mumsnet. I had snacks/water near me and if my DP was here he would cut my food into small pieces I could eat with one hand.
During the night we co slept from night one.
He was totally different to DS1 who was quite a content baby. He's almost 1 now and he's much more content and happy.

Get the latch checked but if no issues I would follow his lead and feed on demand. It is tough but it really will pass so quickly. DS2 can go about 5 hours between feeds now and I miss the early days snuggled up when he wouldn't go longer than 5 minutes.

How much sleep is he getting over a 24 hour period?

If he's very overtired, ideally you need to make the most of the natural sleepy feelings he should be getting after a feed and encourage him to sleep then. If you spend too long winding him you can interfere with that process and wake him up again with all the patting and rubbing on the back. So I would be a bit cautious about that.

It's a bit of a mumsnet cliché I think, but have you tried a sling? My DD went through a phase where she would only nap in the sling.

It sounds really tough. I hope you're ok. It will get better, honestly.

Oh dear, poor little chap and poor you. It does sound as though he's in pain but it's impossible to know what from. Colic is the obvious one - I see you've tried jnfacol, I would keep on with this so it builds up in his system. My two both suffered. I found having them over my shoulder while I walked up and down stairs the best position but it didn't always work. I agree with feeding on demand. I'm sure you've already tried a dummy but do keep trying - my DS took some persuading but at six weeks he accepted one and it was a godsend.

If it is colic it will magically disappear around 11-12 weeks. Which will seem like a lifetime right now I know but it will pass. I remember sitting rocking my wailing four week old thinking whoohoooo only 8 weeks to go!

Stick with it (like you have a choice!) and good luck with the cranial osteopathy, I've heard they can work magic if it's been a traumatic birth.

Problems with the latch can cause excess air to be swallowed, leading to a painful tummy. Lots of crying means even more air is swallowed, making it even worse. Now your dd is 4 weeks old have you tried gripewater?This can work a treat with getting burps up and farts down and may be worth a try to see if it helps.

Also, have you checked for tongue tie? This can cause difficulties with latch but is fairly straightforward to rectify. Good luck!

Hi OP, this sounds pretty difficult but possibly it's a very short lived phase. According to the Wonder Weeks book (based on pretty sound research) babies go through a mental leap at 4-5 weeks which makes them ultra grouchy/clingy for a bit. My son is the same age and similarly unsettled at the moment. I've noticed that he gets grumpier the tireder he gets too, and currently the only way to get him to sleep soundly during the day is in a sling. Once he's in there he will be out for 2-3 hrs and it's like pressing a reset button. Worth a go if you haven't already?
All of the things people above have suggested (wind, reflux, bad latch etc) might also be going on, but it might be coming to an unbearable head at the moment due to this 'leap'. The good news on that front is that it shouldn't last long. Hopefully you will find things getting easier in a few days time. Hang in there.

My baby was EXACTLY the same. I was close to a complete breakdown because I felt like I couldn't deal with it. He had silent reflux, so basically was just constantly in pain. Put together with the fact that he was chronically overtired because he just wouldn't sleep, it was hell!
He still struggles, but is on medication which really does help. The silent part of silent reflux means that they don't do the big spectacular vomits so it can be easily missed or take a while to diagnose. It's definitely worth looking into this to see whether your little one has this. My heart goes out to you

Thanks for your replies.
Well my mum took over so I could get some sleep (she slept 9pm-12am) after being unsettled & constantly feeding up until 12.45am he slept from 1am until 5am, had 4oz of expressed milk then slept until 9am. He even went into his moses basket awake & fell asleep on his own. He's been slightly more settled this morning (although I fear he's lulling us into a false sense of security!)
He has a dummy which does help sometimes, & I'm hoping to get a sling soon. Waiting to hear back from someone at the local sling library so I can rent one & she can show me how to use it properly. I got my husband to get fennel tea & yakult yoghurt drinks for me because I heard that might help with digestion (clutching at straws!)
We'll see what today brings!

You could try cutting out dairy? My son has Cmpi and it's improved his mood about a hundred times

Yes could be neck pain - my forceps ds was the same and chiro worked wonders. Very happy 3.5 yr old now. It is v tough but will get better.

Definitely try a sling. You can get stretchy ones very cheaply (from £15 Inc postage, look up @carryboobaby on Facebook for some ideas) which are ideal for young babies and simple to use. Being upright might help if he's colicky/windy.

It might also be worth getting in touch with your local breastfeeding support groups to see if they can help wean him off the Shields. We used them, and DS had to work much harder to get the milk. It may be he is struggling to fill his tummy properly when he's cluster feeding? Something to think about if the other suggestions don't work.

Hang in there

What are his nappies like? Do you think you might have a lot of milk? I had masses and my little fella had lactose overload from gallons of foremilk. He was always hungry, often distressed and bloated and had frothy squirty green/ yellow nappies. Pumping excess and spacing out feeds helped instantly.

I second what villainous says with bells on! Been there,done that, wish villainous had been there to tell me this when I posted this time nearly a year ago. to you, it's bloody hard, and my dd wasn't thriving wither and was readmitted twice in the first two weeks due to losing weight...she had plenty of wet and dirty nappies too but was in a vicious cycle of dozing at the breast, I religiously swapped sides as everyone was telling me and she was just mainly getting foremilk.

My DD was the same. She has a dairy sensitivity. I cut out dairy sbf within 48 hours she started to settle

Cherrypez we were pacing the floors with our infant fermentation tanks at exactly the same time, then. It was awful, wasn't it? and the "feed at every whimper" advice was only making it worse. Anyway, that may not be OP's problem at all, of course, but I never see it mentioned as a possibility in these threads, so that's why I raise it.
Tongue tie does seem quite common, and sometimes it seems to take a few attempts to diagnose it.

Definitely get a sling - Close Caboos are great for little ones. Most babies will nap well in a sling and if reflux is an issue it will help with that. It should help with any overtiredness too. At 4 weeks I would say he should be napping every 1-1.5 hours of awake time.

Second what an earlier poster said about type of poos - are they green/frothy/mucousy? Those can be signs of milk allergy/intolerance. If that's the case then cutting/reducing in your diet can help.

My DD2 definitely farted more when I drank fennel tea (she was really hard to wind). Gripe water was more effective for us than infacol too. Chamomile granules can help too.

I feel for you, it's really hard those weeks. Hang on in there - my favourite MN phrase is "This too shall pass".

We found cranial osteopathy really helpful for helping DD2 to start burping properly.

i remember for my daughter she was breastfed only gripe water worked for wind and her baby swing also helped.Otherwise she would cry allot

its just a matter of trying many different things to see what works for you a sling also worth a try

did you play any music during pregnancy allot I played music that i played whilst i was pregnant and this also would help my daughter calm down

i hope you find what works its exhausting

Sanity-saving trick I found: Headphones. For you, not the baby. Listening to music when my baby was crying didn't totally block out the crying, but it helped me cope.

Today he's been better, slept more & not screaming as much & has periods where he's been awake & content for about 15 mins. I do keep trying to get him on without the nipple shields but because he's not opening his mouth wide enough or sticking his tongue out I get that lipstick shape, I'm hoping the osteopath will help with this. He had been checked for tongue tie in the hospital by the consultant who said there was no tongue tie but it was noted that he doesn't stick his tongue out far enough. However the breastfeeding advisor said she wasn't convinced that there wasn't something there, she's just not sure what the problem might be so we're in the process of getting a reassessment.
His nappies are orangey/yellowy & don't look frothy. I'm not sure about the milk supply, when I express I don't get too much. I do try keep him on the same breast for a while to make sure he gets the hind milk. It's so hard isn't it? I wish someone would just come in & say "this is the problem & this is how we fix it!" I just want my baby to be happy & be able to enjoy this time with him!
Thank you for all your support x

How about reflux, have you read up on it? I also think tongue-tie might be an issue, it's frequently missed by HCPs (a pediatrician I specifically asked to look for it missed DD's) so I would get a third opinion asap. Lipstick shape sounds very familiar.