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Original poster

Would you agree to a sleepover at 5yo?

37 replies

longestlurkerever · 12/08/2016 08:24

Dd1 (5) has been waging a campaign to have a sleepover with a friend from school or the girl next door. I'm reluctant as imagine she will either be overexcited hyper or the other girl will get tearful and want to go home and either way my relaxing evening looks in jeopardy and maybe the next day would be a write off too if she's tired and crabby, but I confess she's wearing my defences down and I've agreed to speak to their mums about whether they think it'd be a good idea. We have builders in so it's not the best time but on the other hand it is school hols so the tiredness the next day is less important. Wwyd? If you were me or the mum I'm about to approach? (My next door neighbour in the first instance i think)

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pleasethankyouthankyouplease · 12/08/2016 08:26

I think they're too young but watching with interest ...

JockMonsieur · 12/08/2016 08:27

there was a flurry of them in DD1's reception year. literally every one ended in tears (mostly just the DC, occasionally the parents as well) and very often late night trips to collect.

It all went much better by the time they hit juniors. luckily it's not been a thing in dd2's year.

WellErrr · 12/08/2016 08:27

I would if it's what they wanted. She can always go home if she's too upset.

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drinkingtea · 12/08/2016 08:28

I've just said no to my 5yo about this very thing. He's the youngest child so feels left out, but he has friends over in the day and the older siblings both had their first sleepovers at 6, which is what we're sticking to as a first sleepover age.

If you do allow it then next door definitely, for practical reasons in case of homesickness or very hyper behaviour!

longdiling · 12/08/2016 08:29

I wouldn't want to host one at that age. I hate sleepovers. My 11 year old has them reasonably regularly but they're not on the table yet for the 6 year old. If she was invited to one I'd let her go if she wanted - and make sure I was ready and available to pick her up if her nerve went!

drinkingtea · 12/08/2016 08:32

From 6 I expect kids to be pretty self sufficient - somehow there seems to be a big difference between just turned 5 and just turned 6! We've never had a problem on numerous sleepovers starting at age 6. One child at a time except birthdays, and we move an ancient portable TV and DVD player into the sleepover bedroom and still send them to bed at 8:30 - 9 with permission to watch DVDs, so no interuption to our evening :o

Haggisfish · 12/08/2016 08:32

We had one but dd's friend went home at eleven as dd was over excited and got in a pickle!

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 12/08/2016 08:32

Yes, ds had his first one at a friend's/ neighbour's at 5. I think it's useful and good to start young if everyone is happy about it as it's less traumatic if you ever need help in an emergency.

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 12/08/2016 08:35

I would let them try it. I'd go with the school friend though as I think it would be more difficult for the one next door only being next door, but it does depend on the girls, one of them might be used to sleep overs with cousins etc. You'll probably know by 9pm if they're going to settle or not. Just talk to the parents & see how much 'trying to settle' they're happy with before you call them to collect her or drop her home if necessary.

I once spent an entire night playing & colouring with a 4 year old who'd come camping with us as we were 1.5 hours from home & I didn't want to call his parents in the night. I might have if he'd been really used, but he was totally fine playing, it was just sleeping he wasn't happy about. The next morning he didn't want to go home, begged to stay...I was torn, but let him stay & he was completely happy the rest of the week. To be fair it was his first time camping too so all a bit strange for him. He came with us for quite a few years after that.

If they want to try, why not?

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 12/08/2016 08:37

Used? Bloody iPad. UPSET.

Somerville · 12/08/2016 08:38

Nooooooo!

5 way too young.

Ragwort · 12/08/2016 08:41

Yes - my DS had 'sleepovers' from about 3 but slightly different circumstances as it was a way of 'babysitting' - ie: he went to my friend's house, (she had two boys similar ages to my DS - they were all friends) if DH & I were having a night out and I would return the favour when she & her DH went out.

It worked very well for us - the boys were happy & we didn't have the expense of a babysitter and could stay out later and have a lie in the next day. .

Somerville · 12/08/2016 08:46

Actually my kids slept over with my best friend from pretty young; similar situation to Ragwort. Hers stayed over here too.

But it's very much usual family rules and bedtimes; not staying up late and having a midnight feast. All the kids like it, and it was useful for babysitting, but all the siblings were there each time and the friendship with the other family so close that it's like cousins.

Aside from that, whenever I've had a younger primary aged child for a sleepover it's been an unmitigated disaster. 5 year olds often love the idea of something but hate the reality.

gamerwidow · 12/08/2016 08:59

I think it depends on the child. Why don't you try with next door if the parents agree then if it all goes wrong they can easily go home.
Fwiw dd went on a sleepover aged 5 with her rainbows group and loved it.

Original poster

longestlurkerever · 12/08/2016 09:31

Thanks everyone! Will speak to next door and see. Might try and put them off till after the building works are finished at least, esp if the other mums are concerned about those.

Interesting about 5/6 being a dividing line. Dd just turned 5 but some of her friends are nearly 6. It doesn't help that Peppa Pig, Charlie and Lola, Harry and the Dinosaurs etc etc all feature sleepovers at pre-schoola ge without showing Mummy Pig in the kitchen necking gin, so she thinks it's fair enough.

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Original poster

longestlurkerever · 12/08/2016 09:44

Ragwort, I'd be more up for that plan, but dd2 is only 1.

OP posts:

YouSay · 12/08/2016 09:45

5 is much too young.

Original poster

longestlurkerever · 12/08/2016 09:47

Her original plan was a camp-out in the playhouse. A normal sleepover is her idea of a compromise.

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bombayflambe · 12/08/2016 09:52

We've had sleepovers from aged 5. One at a time: group slumber parties definitely not until they are a bit older.

Alliswellihope43 · 12/08/2016 10:00

Similar to ragwort, my DH has daughter with ex and she used to have sleepovers from 3yo with friends as babysitting opportunities

Unlike them, there's been a couple of occasions where DH has been called up (in exs nights) saying she's a mess won't sleep tantrums wants her mum, but mum wasn't answering. Resorting in DH going to get her. safe to say DH was not happy but mother always had excuse of phone was on silent/broken/ she called back but no answer

It depends on the child and how comfortable they are. Some days 3yo was fine others she would t dare leave mum or dads side meaning cancellation of date night, but hey ho kids are kids. I think discuss with the parent and see if they're happy with it

Alliswellihope43 · 12/08/2016 10:01

*wasnt happy as in, because ex wasn't answering, not that he had to get his daughter

Enjoyingthepeace · 12/08/2016 17:36

Absolutely not.

What's the rush?

Don't give in to immediate gratification when they have years and years and years of sleepovers ahead of them. At 5, despite what they think, they need routine, early night, unbroken ten hours sleep, familiar environment and a parent or relative near by (or near enough).

Sootica · 12/08/2016 20:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

longestlurkerever · 12/08/2016 20:50

Ah just one thing to mention. She doesn't have any cousins. I do feel like she misses out a bit there. Good to hear my instincts aren't far off though!

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Finola1step · 12/08/2016 20:54

Very recently, my dd (5, soon to be 6) went for her first sleepover. However, it was at the home of a good friend of mine. Friend had the girls while I had the (older) boys over at my home. All went really well.

But this is the only sleepover situation I would allow for dd for the time being.

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