help with knowing how to deal with this

[mailfuckoff]

I have a 7 year old son, last year we moved house so now the kitchen is in the middle of the house and you have to walk through it to go upstairs. I noticed food going missing around Christmas but thought it was dh having a snack. Then mil caught DS sneaking down in the night and taking food. Long conversation with him about how I don't want him sneaking food . Then stuff from my bedroom went missing as did some stuff dh had so again words and consequences for DS. I have just found a box of chocolates I had in my room broken into and some taken. They were a present for my mum! we've had tears and angry behaviour from DS and we have said he needs to replace chocolate from his money but what can I do to stop this? I don't want to lock away all the treats and presents but I can't trust him to stay out of my bedroom and leave stuff alone!

The things in your bedroom - are they always edible things?

How much does he eat at a regular meal?

It's always food. He eats an awful lot at meal time and we always have fruit around which he loves to eat. It's just like he wants to take my stuff. We are also good with cake/ pudding and we named cookies at the weekend together.

And now he says he wants to go and live at the cinema because we are mean and tell him off all the time

Is he overweight? Do you think there might be a medical reason behind his overeating, eg does he seem okay if he doesn't get extra food?

Was he like this before you moved house?

Also, does he have good friends? I wondered whether it was comfort eating.

What's his diet like? Does he get enough protein?

I would reduce the focus on this. So minimal reaction if it happens, reduce treats in the house. Less activities focussed around cakes/cookies (eg baking). Maybe do cooking lessons with him for main meals instead.

Why put treats in your room?

Have you checked him for worms? Is he generally highly strung or anxious? Has he changed since the move (change in schools, routine, friendships) or has there been anything (family tensions) building up?

Sounds like strange behaviour.

Does he have snacks he can eat and an agreement on when he can? So every day he can have (eg) a packet of crisps and a chocolate bar. If he is hungry outside of mealtimes and has his snacks then just fruit after that.

Oh yeah, we had "The Great Sweet Robberies" I think DD started it & her brothers followed suit. So then we put a lock on the cupboard where all such sugary type food was kept. Which was pretty rigorously kept locked when not in use, until the lock broke. By then DC had massive sweet stashes from other sources, and they haven't conducted any obvious raids (I tend not to have sweets in the house anyway).

I think the kids still raid the biscuits more than I would like, but I overlook that as long as they eat plenty of veg. Nowadays it's more like midnight sausage roll raids by the teenagers that we struggle to keep up with.

ps: I think the cupboard was mostly locked for 5-6 yrs. DC1 actually had the combination safely until he was about 14 & started to have huge piles of biscuits on his plate after tea, I felt like I had to put my foot down about that.

He is not overweight, he's tiny, small for his age and thin. He's recently been looked over by OT about something else and received a lot of medical care so think he's ok medically.same school and friends since move, we only moved around the corner . He can have crisps and some sweet thing every day and dh and I take it seriously if he asks for food.
I have stuff in my room because I have a medical condition which means I might wake up and need something (I'm on a high salt diet). The chocolates were in my room so I rememberd to pop them in the boys overnight back as a thank you.

Maybe he's not getting enough food then?

What's a typical day diet wise for him?

My two are skinny and always hungry and we have a pile of things they are allowed to help themselves to- healthy or boring things like apples, bananas, plain crackers (Jacobs cream-cracker type) bread sticks, plain rice cakes, toast, bagels, grapes, that kind of thing. If they are hungry they are happy to eat them. Everything else is served at appropriate times in appropriate portion sizes with no fuss because there is stuff they can eat if they need it. they do need a fair number of calories at that age if they are burning it off (ie under rather than overweight), especially if on a growth spurt.