Shall we have another?

[notanewbie]

Not sure if this is the right topic, but can't think where else to put it...

We have a dd and a ds, and I think that I want more. Probably only one, as I'm 38 already. I think dh would like another, but I'm not sure. He says he's worried how we would cope, financially and emotionally.

I don't even know how to discuss it with him. It doesn't seem to me that financial issues matter...we're not rich, but he has a decent job and earns tolerably well.

And emotionally I don't understand the emotional worry either. Surely you just love your children and each other, and that's all that matters?

Am I being just an instinctive female, or is there more to it?

Another 3 here - 20 months between first 2 and 30 months between nos 2 and 3. I don't regret having 3 for a moment, but I have found it sooo much more difficult than I expected. (ds was just 4 when no 3 was born) - I don't want to be too negative here, but I really found that things changed once I had 3 on the scene, there is more juggling, it is much more tiring, and it is more stressful. A couple of my friends who've had 3 feel the same. One thing is that there is only 2 of us, and 3 of them. Sorry to ramble - I don't regret it, but I have found it tough. I haven't read to see how old your 2 are notanewbie, but I think I might have found it easier if at least one of mine, and possibly 2 were at school when dd2 was born.

I dont want to offend but if you are who I think you are then I would say definetely no.

You know why i think this and it's not personal to you but I dont think it would be right.

If i'm wrong then i apologise and you wont have a clue what I'm talking about.

If i'm right then please dont.

We have a saying in my very big family where three children per family are very common, have two or four+ but never 3 as one will be always left out by his/her siblings when playing.

I personally would like to have 4, but being a full time mum would be extreemely difficult for me and we can't afford to pay the nursery for more than one kid.

I've been reading your comments, and following the age gaps thread, and thinking. I don't want to push dh. I don't feel like I did before we had two - desperately wanting more children - just that I would like more before it's too late. It would be ideal if no1 was in full-time school when no3 arrived, but I don't want to leave it that long (they are 3 and 1 right now).

Funny what Pollyana and Chandra say about having three children - I feel that two of us and one each of them is too neat. It bothers me and I want to uneven it a bit.

BTW Hercules, I don't think I am who you think I am, because you're right I haven't got a clue what you're talking about!

My dh had similar concerns about no2, mainly about how I'd cope on my own (I admit I found it difficul with dd alone until recently), and the lack of time for us as a couple. I could see all his reasons, and I am slightly worried about how I'll cope (no family around to help and dh working indecently long hours), but I did not care, I think it was my hormones manily but I HAD to have another baby, and while he was being v.r ational about it, all I could do was being very emotiuonal and hormonal.

Eventually I got pregnant by accident and he is over the moon about it(as expected!!)

Men tend to be v rational about everything, but do talk to him properly and don't get too focused on the age gap, any gap is fine if it's the right time for you and your dh!!

Your're right, I'm wrong!