Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

Becoming a single Mummy- Bigamy- To forgive or not??

100 replies

Tiddlypoo8 · 30/07/2016 07:58

Hello there.
I'm writing because it's been the week from hell and I need advice. I have a 3 year old daughter and a week ago I believed I had a family and a husband.

The marriage (or not) wasn't going very well. Lots of lies on his behalf, no trust, but I did and do love him very much.
We took a break this week which I believed might be permanent, and we discussed the future (me and add staying in the house, maintainance etc)
2 days after him leaving I felt a little stronger, but missed the family being together, missed him too.
I stuck with my guns and continued with the break apart/separation.
2 days ago he admitted to me that he was not divorced when he got married to me 3 years ago. Altogether we've been together 11 years!!

I am gob smacked, gutted, broken. I put my everything into being a good wife to him, our wedding cost a bomb and many came to witness our happy day. It was all a lie :'-(

I have not reported him. I want him to be a part of dds life, not banged up. He's in the army.

Is there any way you guys think there could be forgiveness for this when the hurt stops?
He wants to come back, live in the family home and be 'partners' so we can still be a family. I've said no right now, because I'm still hurting so badly, but I'm so torn between parenting alone, or having a family unit.

So confused right now

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 30/07/2016 17:59

Woah! Back up tonto! So when you got married you knew that he had been married before but you weren't suspicious / didn't ask any questions when he said he had never been married? Or did you not know he'd been married before?

Original poster
Tiddlypoo8 · 31/07/2016 06:51

Found out that my army wife's husband is now the welfare officer I need to speak to tomorrow- she's told him everything!!!
The police (civil) are on the case too

OP posts:
Hissy · 31/07/2016 07:46

Sorry, whAt?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting
PotteringAlong · 31/07/2016 07:50

I'm not sure I understand your uodate

Goingtobeawesome · 31/07/2016 07:57

Blinking heck. This is all so unbelievable.

insancerre · 31/07/2016 08:03

Are you saying the welfare officer is married to your husbands wife?
So his marriage is bigamous too?

Well, what are the odds?!

SpecialAgentFreyPie · 31/07/2016 08:10
Hmm
imjessie · 31/07/2016 08:11
Shock
EeksyPeeksy · 31/07/2016 08:28

Well blimey that was a quick turn of events!

stupidgreatgrinonmyface · 31/07/2016 08:31

Oh dear. Hmm

AuldYow · 31/07/2016 08:34

ConfusedHmm

Sooverthis · 31/07/2016 08:36

Just place marking I'd offer sympathy but I'm not sure what's actually going on. I think he's probably lying about still being married to wife one but I really don't understand your update

Berthatydfil · 31/07/2016 08:40

What - so she's bigamously married too and it's to the army welfare officer??

Gotheftosleep · 31/07/2016 08:44

I think OP might mean an army wife FRIEND'S husband is the welfare officer and the friend has already told her husband everything?

NicknameUsed · 31/07/2016 08:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Mamagin · 31/07/2016 09:04

As gotheftosleep said, 'wife' is pretty obviously a typo for friend. Yet again someone asking for help has their thread taken over by troll hunters.
If the registrar and the army believed that her partner had divorced, then why would she question a man who, at the time, she loved and trusted?

BustingOut · 31/07/2016 09:10

Doesnt that mean that the welfare officer has broken confidentialty laws? How does she know the whole story already if you are not due to talk to her until tomorrow?

smilingeyes11 · 31/07/2016 09:16

So confused.

youarenotkiddingme · 31/07/2016 09:22

Can you clarify the update?

I got confused but assumed you meant your friends husband is welfare officer. You've told your friend who has already filled her DH in! Plus you've reported to police in civvy street too?

Please don't start calling troll people. Up until the strange update everyone was supportive. My iPad has typed some drivel of its own before so it's fairer to assume typo than what would be an obvious attempt at embellishing a story.

allloveknows · 31/07/2016 09:30
Hmm
horseygeorgie1 · 31/07/2016 10:00

You need to report and get legal help.

Imnotacelebgetmeouttahere · 31/07/2016 10:09

This sounds so like my ex I wouldn't be surprised if it was him Hmm lies about being married - lies about previous children - said he had died to avoid having to have an adult conversation and split up ... Done this to so many women it's unreal

Original poster
Tiddlypoo8 · 31/07/2016 19:30

No I was saying my good friends husband happens to have been appointed welfare officer!!!

Lol- even I'm not that unlucky!

OP posts:
Original poster
Tiddlypoo8 · 31/07/2016 19:31

What would happen if he divorced his first wife right now? Would our marriage be void still or okay?

Not that that's happening- I'm just curious..

OP posts:
Original poster
Tiddlypoo8 · 31/07/2016 19:34

My friends husband is welfare officer- I told her everything and she told her husband, who is welfare officer for my husbands (or not) unit.

They were both at our 'wedding'
Meeting him tomorrow (welfare officer) to talk over everything.
Just uncanny and lucky

OP posts: