Loads of daft questions!

[socktastic]

I'm a (very anxious) first time mum to a gorgeous wee 4 week old boy. I still have loads of questions which I'm hopeful no some of you might have the answer to. I do realise how stupid some of these questions might be!

do the nappies really need changed straight away? If he's dropping off to sleep or asleep already and he poos, should I wake him to change him?

Why won't the wee bugger burp? We're trying infacol with every feed but he just holds onto his wind?

Should he be able to roll from tummy to back during tummy time or is he a show off?

HV says 120mls every 4 hours and a feed should take no more than 30 minutes. He has 120ml bottles which he was takes over the course of about an hour- but he's hungry again 3 hours later. He can't wait 4 hours. (Counting from start of bottle to start of new bottle)

Is it normal to lose my temper and want to shout at the baby?

I'll leave it at these just now - he's woken up and will be demanding his milk pretty shortly.

Feed him when he asks to be fed. Little and often suits most babies best. You might find it more economical to buy ready made formula and keep the open cartons in the fridge, warming up small amounts when he's hungry. What makes you want to shout? Crying? He's probably hungry and/or in pain from wind. When burping him, sit him on your knee and bend him at the waist, gently rotating his upper body. Then put him high on your shoulder and firmly stroke up the left side of his body. Repeat until you get a decent burp. Never found infacol much help, particularly as in order for it to be effective you need to give it 15 minutes before feed and I was feeding on demand.

Congratulations. It's a bit daunting at first isn't it!

I'd change nappy if there is a poo. It can cause really sore nappy rash if left.

I fed on demand so at 4 weeks it was almost constant, especially after about 4pm.

No idea on burping, doubt he holds it in though. Does he get hiccups? That is another way they get wind out. If he isn't uncomfortable I wouldn't worry.

Losing patience is probably normal, lack of sleep and trying to get it right when the baby hasn't read the same manual and screams at the idea of being put down 'sleepy but awake' (bloody ridiculous idea)bus frustrating. But if you feel any worse than a bit snappy you should probably talk to your. GP.

Good luck.

do the nappies really need changed straight away? If he's dropping off to sleep or asleep already and he poos, should I wake him to change him

I have occasionally (when desperate for him to sleep a bit) left a nappy if he is sleeping. But I wouldn't do it often or he'll get a sore bottom. Certainly if (and he had a horrible habit of this for a while) he did a poo while nodding off before bedtime then definitely change although it's horribly annoying.

Why won't the wee bugger burp? We're trying infacol with every feed but he just holds onto his wind?

Does he definitely need to? DS didn't ever bring much wind up, used to get plenty out the other end!

Should he be able to roll from tummy to back during tummy time or is he a show off?

Oh DS could do this when he was teeny! Is your baby quite small? DS sort of twitched himself over, mind him on beds and things. They usually stop this when they get fatter then relearn it normally when older.

HV says 120mls every 4 hours and a feed should take no more than 30 minutes. He has 120ml bottles which he was takes over the course of about an hour- but he's hungry again 3 hours later. He can't wait 4 hours. (Counting from start of bottle to start of new bottle)

Feed when he's hungry I would say, not to the clock. I breastfed so not an expert on bottles but 4 hours between feeds is much much longer than DS went at that age.

Is it normal to lose my temper and want to shout at the baby?

Yes, it is I think. I once shouted at DS to go to fucking sleep when he was about 3/4 months old and I'd been awake with him from about 11pm - 5am. Take a deep breath and walk away for a few minutes if you need to. I used to do really deep slow breathing and try to force myself to fake a calmness. Otherwise the baby gets more wounds up if they can feel you're all rigid and furious.

Oh and congratulations and it gets easier. I found newborn really really tough and stressful and worried about everything. I am much more laid back and happy looking after a feral toddler.

do the nappies really need changed straight away? If he's dropping off to sleep or asleep already and he poos, should I wake him to change him?

I would always change a pooey nappy, as he will get a sore bottom otherwise. It's annoying but necessary!

Why won't the wee bugger burp? We're trying infacol with every feed but he just holds onto his wind

He might not be a very windy baby, some aren't. If he isn't in any discomfort then don't worry about it.

Should he be able to roll from tummy to back during tummy time or is he a show off?

They all develop at different rates, so don't worry about when he meets milestones, unless he is very late at reaching them.

HV says 120mls every 4 hours and a feed should take no more than 30 minutes. He has 120ml bottles which he was takes over the course of about an hour- but he's hungry again 3 hours later. He can't wait 4 hours. (Counting from start of bottle to start of new bottle)

I'm really surprised your HV is advocating measured and timed feeds. The usual NHS advice is to feed on demand, even if formula feeding. There's no need to aim for a certain amount and a certain time between feeds. As long as he's putting on weight, and weeing/pooing regularly then don't worry about how much/timings.

Is it normal to lose my temper and want to shout at the baby?

Sleep deprivation will do that to you. As long as you are not actually shouting at the baby (bar maybe once or twice under extreme stress!) then it's ok to feel frustrated. If you're angry all the time and can't get past it then I would maybe speak to your GP as it could be the start of PND.

At 4 weeks DS was fed every 2-3 hours. Sometimes more. We didn't make it to 4 hours apart until he was over 6 months old and chugging down an 8oz (240ml ?) bottle and eating some solids too.

Personally I found gripe water more
effective with wind than infacol.

DS could flip himself over occasionally when really tiny, but then never rolled properly til he was 7 months (and then walked confidently at 10 months so it's totally random in my opinion)

I won't answer all as you have been given some brilliant answers already. However, from my own experience with dd I'd say don't worry too much about wind (farting does count as bringing up wind) but maybe just hold baby upright against you for around 10 minutes after each feed. Good excuse for a hug! You shouldn't need to give Infacol unless bubs is clearly in pain with wind.

I can understand your anxiety with feeding. We did formula top-ups alongside breastfeeding and were given instructions by the hospital to feed a formula bottle once every 3 hours. Which of course was a ridiculous idea as breastfeeding doesn't work on a schedule like that. We gave up very quickly and literally just fed bubs whenever she was hungry.

However, once we moved onto just formula that wasn't as easy as it takes forever to make a bottle. So we went a few days where we had a bottle ready every 2.5 hours, and we logged how long she went between feeds and how much she had at each feed. After a few days we noticed a very specific routine of how long she would go between bottles, so we always made sure there was a bottle ready when we thought she'd want one. Sometimes it would go to waste, or only get half-drunk, but we'd rather waste formula than have her screaming with hunger.

Note: babies scream at even the slightest hunger, so just because they're going read in the face as they've not eaten in 2 hours, doesn't mean they're on the point of starvation. Just comfort them until milk is ready.
And be prepared for your baby to often want practically no milk in a day, or sometimes twice the amount. It is very worrying when it first happens, but again, you notice patterns.

We knew when dd was going through a bit of a growth spurt as she'd stop drinking more than about 200ml of milk a day, and would spend all her time sleeping. We kept offering but she just didn't want it. Then a day or two later, she'd suddenly have a much bigger appetite than before, and it followed the feeding guidelines on the formula tubs quite nicely. So don't panic if your bubs suddenly stops or seems to overeat. If you're worried, go get them weighed and the HV's there can tell you whether there is anything to worry about :)