Bed time issues for a 9&11 year old Help !

[Shhhh]

As the title says , my 2 are an 11 yr old girl & 9 he old boy.
As younger children bedtimes were perfect , bed by 7 then later as they got older , in bed , reading , asleep & light out with no issue .

The last 12-18 months bed time I can honestly say are hell.

I'm at the end of my tether & need advice .

Hubby & I out of 7 days have 4 days where we are sorting the kids on own due to fitness activities but the routine is basically the same .

With both our kids now older during the wk we feel it's reasonable for them to be in bed around 8/830pm week days & 9/930pm weekends .

My issue is though , even when we send them up then it's carnage . They fight , argue , run about , jumping on our bed & last night we caught our son in our bed watching TV at 1030pm

We have tried watching tv with them till bed & sending them up , sending them up earlier to read , last night at their request we let them go on their iPad after they promised they would go to bed at 830pm but even that didn't work

What can we do ... The whole bedtime routine is them up/down till either 11pm or until we go to bed . I'm so peeved atm & i so hate bedtime . If I could walk out of the house at 8pm & return at 11pm I would .

We have even tried bath at bedtime , a warm drink & still no change .

TIA x

Bed times are very difficult when it's so hot, and with the summer holidays beginning bed times will naturally become later for most children. It must be stressful for everyone so may be best to ease off till September, by which time the issue will be forced a bit as they will have to get up early and so will be tired earlier, especially if your daughter is starting at a new school.

Perhaps tell them they can go upstairs an hour later in the holidays on the agreement they will be quiet and calm and put lights out when asked?

Thanks .
Thing is , they are like this regardless of the weather , time of year or even if they have had a jam packed day !

Tonight has been slightly better . Sent my son up at 730pm due to behaviour & he was allowed to read till 830pm. Daughter went up at 830pm & there was little commotion .

Hoping high school tires out my eldest come sept but tbh it's not her who is the hardest to sort !

Oh well , just wondered if there was a magic cure X

My 2 still have staggered bedtimes (age 9 and 12). School night bedtimes are 9pm (ds) and 9.30pm (dd). During weekends/holidays it is 9.30pm (ds) and 10pm (dd)

No magic cure I'm afraid. Good and consistent routine is the main thing, and time spent with them upstairs, calming things down, reading, etc, may be needed for a while to do this. Make sure it's the same routine for them every night (there will always be exceptions of course).

You may need to spend more time in the short term getting a good routine established but it will pay dividends in the medium and long term.

You need to find your child's "currency" ie what is it that they love? TV/computer games/trip to the park etc.

These are earned by going to bed at a particular time, doing as asked. If they fail to do it then they lose what they like the most.

I have a 13 and 10 year old. They both come upstairs at the same time, get ready for bed and read. It is calm, I use a calm voice. They know what is expected of them and know the consequences if they do not do as they are told.

At 11 and 9 your children definitely won't be defying a teacher when told to do something (unless the teacher has told you otherwise) so why is it different for you?

Do you think they want 1 on 1 time with you and this is the way they get it? Could you have them in your bed whilst you read a story to them to start them off calmly for bedtime?

I still read to my 13 year old. The books are more complicated but he still gets enjoyment from being read to.