Behaviour outside

[mytimewillcome]

Just wanted to see if my 6 year old son's behaviour is 'normal' or not. When we go out he can never just walk quietly next to me. He is constantly running around, teasing his brother; making noises and it makes me not want to take him out. Tonight we went out to get his brother a shirt and it was all of the above so we literally had to get the shirt and come home and no looking at other things. When I look around at other children I just don't see them behaving like that. I could cope with a little high jinks but not constantly with no let up. I've asked him why he acts like this and he says that he likes behaving silly which i think is a relief for him because he is quite serious and good at school so how can I get him to tone it down without clipping his wings? Getting angry doesn't work. Neither does taking things away. Am I expecting too much? I can go to the shops with his younger brother without incident.

Has he learnt that by acting up he won't have to spend long doing something he finds boring?

Possibly? But going to the shops is just a normal thing to do. We need to get stuff sometimes. I don't shop for myself at all so it is either food shopping (but that is normally done with his brother on my day off) or stuff for them. I suppose it could be because we weren't getting anything for him but I'm not going to appease him by buying him something.

Jeez no. Don't appease. But he wants it to end. He plays up and it does.
You need to change it round so his playing up gets negative consequences instead!

It might be because you don't take him very often.
He might be playing up because he wants your attention.
I'd give him a little task and keep his attention that way.

It's normal. Wearing and bloody annoying but completely normal

So what would be the negative consequences? I've tried taking stuff away from him at home and putting him on time out when we get home but neither work. I've even threatened to tell his teacher.

Maybe suggest having a portable silly spot or time out spot that you can take with you places. IKEA sell small round coloured mats that would fold up in your bag. He sounds very bright as he can verbalise that he likes to be silly so I can imagine the embarrassment of being placed in time out or on a silly spot in a shop in front of people would soon make being silly in public far less appealing. You might feel a bit embarrassed too to start with but everyone else can bugger off :-) at least you are trying to put a stop to negative behaviours.

Ugh mines the same. Also have a 3 year old and 10 month old. The little ones are good as gold. Add in the 6 year old and they're all totally feral. Even the baby joins in! Hoping it's a phase that passes.

I take my DSs separately only but if not possible have perfected shopping in the style of a commando-raid. As its the only time they are really like this, although I would like to train them to behave while shopping, frankly life and my patience are both too short.

Ok thank you for your responses. I was worried that there was something undiagnosed here so it's good to know that it's normal behaviour I suppose. Can't take them separately as I'm a single parent. I don't remember being like that, to that extent anyway.

Will he behave for a more immediate reward so shop 30 min with silliness and we can go to the park/buy a comic/spend your pocket money in the pound shop etc. So he sees that coming put to the shop benefits him provided he behaves.

*without silliness

Before you step out, lay out your expectations of what you want his behaviour to be like. Be specific!

If he is a bright boy, can you play easy games? Counting special colour cars (each of you have a colour- keep track of what you've seen), adding up the door numbers, looking for wilder beasts etc?

Praise the good behaviour and immediately reprimand the bad behaviour. Portable time out spot/sitting on 'steps' or standing at the side will hopefully nip it in the bud.