To be entirely honest, I would never think my parents were justified in smacking me. I thought so at the time, and still think so now and I told my mother that about ten years ago. She found it very upsetting when I told her that I still remembered it and thought it was disgraceful and I know she regrets doing it very much. I have a strong suspicion that both my son and stepdaughter would feel the same sense of outrage and of physical violation at someone slapping them. Maybe it is a personality thing, but I remember it vividly. It made me feel unloved and I thought it was wrong. Now, as a parent I resolve to do things better than my parents as does my dh, and a very important part of that to us is that we do not talk about discipline and punishment and smacking and fear, but of mutual respect (I try always to remember to say please and thank you to my son, even if I am extremely irritated by his actions, for example "Oh, X, COME HERE....please ) love, and helpfulness so that we can live cooperatively without resorting to punishment. So far it really does seem to be working. For me, smacking is an absolute no-no - and partly it is because I would feel absolutely dreadful if I hit my lovely, sweet little boy. I simply cannot imagine doing it - except possibly in a moment of loss of control. I certainly couldn't do it in a 'controlled' way. Of course I don't think children should do absolutely anything they want - ie run into the road, stab the cat - but I do think there are other ways of handling it that are more effective and leave all parties feeling better about themselves. I do think smacking should be outlawed though - even the mild form - because I think it will change the way people parent their kids and hopefully will mean fewer people slapping their kids around the head and slapping babies' legs in Peckham. I'm sure the good parents who don't do anything this will be able to find other ways of maintaining a happy home. Honestly, you can have great kids in a no-smacking house, I promise!