"school dinner" dilemma

[jeangenie]

DD1 started at reception on Wednesday. She has just done half days so far but starts doing full days tomorrow. I have been intending to sign her up for "school dinners" (why are they called "dinner" when they are at lunch time?)
Anyway, she is a fussy eater and I thought maybe if she goes for them and sees her peers eating she might try some new things. However she has always been adamant she wants to bring a packed lunch. I had said to her we would try the SDs for a week and see how she got on. She was ambivalent to say the least. Again this morning she has said she doesn't want SDs. We looked through the weekly menu planner and to be honest there is nothing there I think she'd go for.
My other concern is that her "best friend" is doing packed lunches (although I haven't told her this yet) and the packed lunch kids eat separately from the SD kids so she might be upset at that. Also it is a very big school (650 pupils) and I imagine that the dinner hall is manic so she could well be very phased by that.
What should I do? obviously the SD option is 1)easiest for me 2)probably good for her as she's end up socialising with some other kids than her BF and might extend her food repertoire BUT I don't want her to be traumatised or end up not eating anything in the middle of the day.
anyone got any advice or gone through similar ?

Could you do 3 days of school dinners and 2 days of packed lunches ?

Oh yes, we went through this exactly with our very fussy eater ds1. We insisted he had school dinners (and his school did either hot food or school sandwiches, which he had) for the first half term. Cost £1.50 a day and he rarely ate anything. It got to the point where the dinner ladies were sending him with notes home saying he wouldn't eat, and they'd be looking through the kitchens to see if they could find anything for him..!

So after the first half term we gave up/in and he now takes a packed lunch. I was very grumpy about it at first as I'd wanted him to have a go with school food and learn to like and eat different stuff, but I must admit he eats tons more now he gets to take his beloved 'red cow' sandwich, half a bag of crisps, cherry tomatoes and a date in his Power Rangers lunch bag! And I'm sure it's costing us a lot less than £1.50 a day!

So, maybe try it out but be prepared to change if your dd really isn't eating enough.

Send her with a packed lunch until she's settled in, especially as you say there is nothing on the SD menu that she'd like.
She's only very young, and it's not worth causing an upset about school IMO.
Let her eat with her friend.
Packed lunches are no hassle if you get organised, and you can vary what you put in them.
From the school dinners that my children have had in the past, I wouldn't say that their remit was to 'extend their food repertoire'!
I hope your DD enjoys being at school full time.

My ds is a fussy eater I have the menu plan and on the days I know he won't eat the dinner I give him a packed lunch

If she is a fussy eater i would definitely go for school dinners

at my charges school school dinenrs are compulsory (in fact they are not even allowed to bring any food at all to school

(its also a day and weekly boarding school, so breakfast and tea are also provided and the boarders obviously get all their nutrition requierements through out the day)

Anyway my charges have always eaten very well at home... both eat pretty much any even vaguely normalish food!

I remeber when my eldest charge started there was a girl in his class (who is *completely pandered by mummy (not saying you are just that her mum did) her diet consisted of 'processed crap' and cheese strungs (still processed crap IMO) + she would eat any amount of sweets chocolate cajes etc (and her mum LET HER)

anyway for the 1st 4 weeks this child ate NOTHING at all of her main course.... not so much as one bite once (she did a few of the puddings though again things like apple crumble with custard / rice ppudding she wouldnt touch!.... ginger bread men with choclate chip faces she would eat tho

Anyway after a few weeks she had a sepcial chart where he got a sticker and the whole class made a thing about her eating.... ie after register she could choose her sticker to put on the board.... abd everyone would giver her a clap etc...

We are now 15 months down the line... she eats much better at school... not everything but most days she eats something (last school year there ws always only, 1 main meal, veggy alternative + pudding)... this year it has changed to 1 main meal / veggy alternative / OR JACKET POTATOES and / or salad bar and beans / cheese, 1 pudding OR a muller yogurt and / or a selection of fresh fruit

Howevr shestill doesnt eat that wel at home (which IS because her mum lets her eat loads of crap!)

I wpuld go for it... and if you can stick with offering her moer things at home, hopefully in half a term or a terms time you may find that she will eat better at home too.

also IMO a week is NOT long enough for them to change!

I don't think there is a question of her changing though, is there?
I read it that jeangenie's DD had been on half days for the first week, so hadn't stayed at school for lunch at all yet.

hmmm, I see your point NannyL but I don't think that in this school (state school, 650 puils) they'll be taking too much notice of what or if my DD eats, nevermind doing a star chart for her

HumpreyC, your advice fits with what I think I feel most comfortable with. You are right, she is very little and I really don't want her to be traumatised by anything to do with starting school. I think I'll go with the packed lunches. We can always change to SDs later when she is more settled.

Lorina, we have to sign her up for the full week I think, but I'll check as that sounds a good compromise for the future

dotty, thanks, that's what I anticipate happening anyway if we did go for Sds

(she is fussy, but we don't let her have processed crap, she'll be likely to get a brown bread and cheese sambo, some fruit and a yoghurt if I can figure out how to keep it cold, maybe she'll get so bored she'll request SDs in the end )

Yoghurt should be ok for a few hours until lunchtime. Otherwise use frozen fromage frais instead. Or give her a bottle of water as drink - half fill night before and freeze. Top up with water in the morning. It will keep everything nice and cool

DS1 was a terribly fussy eater when he started school and it was for this reason that I signed him up for school lunches. Once he saw other children tucking into the food, he started to try other things - and if he rejected some things, it didn't stab me in the heart the way it did when he rejected things that I'd cooked!

He is now very easy to feed. Eats most things and is always willing to try new ones, which is just as well as, approaching 13, he is starting to eat me out of house and home.

can you get a menu list for the school, it usually runs in a three week cycle. Does your school like the pupil to stay dinners/pack lunch for the whole week, as i know ours does, but what i actually do is send in dinner money for the days that i knew ds1 would eat the lunch (bending the rules slightly as i am a dinner lady at school), but now he has got a lot better at eating a slightly better variety of foods. Also dont know if your school is the same but we are not allowed to let a child leve until they have eat a proportion of the food that they have been given.

HTH

OH FRECKLE, YOU ARE MAKING ME THINK WE SHOULD DO SCHOOL DINNERS AFTER ALL!
(opps, sorry about caps)
wurlywurly Ihave the 3 week menu thingy and tbh I can't see much she'd eat on it (apart from the chocolate cake on thursday week 3!)
at home she eats ok, brown pasta, brown rice, limited range of veg, some fish or chicken, homemade pizza etc but she is VERY fussy about it and it all needs to be VERY plain. The school meals are a bit "mixed up" iykwim and she won't eat things with sauces etc
I don't know whether the dinner ladies have to ensure they eat a proportion, we haven't been told about anything like that
good idea about the yoghurts sueW

I guess there is no right answer, we could do SDs and hope she eats a bit more and isn't traumatised or just go with the familiar. If her best pal was doing school dinners I'd definitely give them a whirl but since he isn't I am quite worried she will just get upset by the whole thing

thanks for all your thoughts

Chances are that, once in school, she will find a new best pal anyway. Why not give them a go for a reasonable amount of time, say, half a term? She may make a fuss to start with, but could well settle down to them after a while.

I normally arrive in the school playground with goodies in my bag for the boys when they come out of school. Even having eaten a decent meal, they are always hungry at home time. You could do that so that she doesn't have to wait until tea time for more to eat.

school dinners non-negotionable in my house. dd1 did start with packed lunches but after she kept coming home with most of it uneaten i switched ehr to school dinners. now she eats well, eats more fruit and veg and even though she has the odd moan, she is happy with most of the meals and eats things she wouldnt have touched before.

for school dinner last week both my kids had bread, rice and potatoes followed by ice cream. one is fussy, one normally eats anything but that is what they both chose and were allowed.

we have packed lunches normally, but they wanted a school dinner as a one off so i agreed. last time i think! so dont count on her eating a wider range just because it is there for her to choose

she is quite sensitive, that's the thing, and I just don't want there to be a traumatic episode early on in her school "career".

She is quite adamant she wants a packed lunch.

I think that she might diversify if she had SDs, or she might not. If she didn't I'd be prepared to change to packed lunches then. But in the meantime I worry that if I insist on SDs and she hates it, is overwhelmed by the lunch room, or whatever that she will take it badly.

Dh thinks we could do the packed lunches til Sept and then when she is a bit bigger and more settled there, move her to SDs.

Maybe that's the thing to do.

Could you do one week dinners one week packed?

Whatever, you have to be firm. I never gave mine a choice. School dinners all through primary.

think you are probably right JUT. We are going to decide tonight but whenever we decide to introduce the SDs I will take your advice and make it non-negotiable (for a while known only to myself at least ). PersonallY i thnk we are likley to go with September, and who knows, she may request them earlier.

thanks guys
(and I am too soft, I know it!)

in two weeks there will not be a dilema, her group of friends will determine her choice.

you are right I am sure, I'm just dithering over tomorrow really

(I need to have something to dither over you see)

Sooo, what did your DD have for lunch, jeangenie?

school dinner

we decided we'd go for it (I met a friend on sunday whose very fussy eating DD has been doing them for a term and has started to eat much better at home since doing so) but according to reports DD had pasta and nothing else yesterday

teacher said they were all fine though and no tears at lunchtime

however, we have just had a crying and arguing fit this morning about her wanting a packed lunch so am not sure how long my stamina will last

(tbh I think she just likes the idea of the lunchbox - I told her I'd make her a packed lunch on Saturday!)

DS is on school dinners. He is in Y1, went to day nursery (so was used to institutional food ) and tends to get on with things.

However we have had lots of occasions of him whining for packed lunches - partly because he wants the treats that others get in theirs and partly because of the lunch box thing. I bought him a power rangers lunch box for his school trip and made him a special packed lunch. He also got to use it when he attended holiday club for 4 days and we use it for picnics etc.

DS's two friends both had dinners throughout reception as well. But last term both went on to packed lunches. But after lots of the food (especially the sandwiches) being returned hardly touched they are back on dinners. My friend tried all sorts of things like tuna pasta and couscous salad etc but it didn't work out.

However I do think the younger children should have some guidance in their choices. DS will come home and say that he has had cucumber (has this everyday from the salad bar), pasta and bread. Although I am never sure if he has forgotten some relevent detail such as that the pasta was in a bolognaise sauce for instance.

jeangenie - my dd has just started too and is also asking for packed lunches. But I am sure that she just wants the lunchbag. I think I might get her one. We have sandwiches for tea, and I can easily put hers in a lunchbag instead of on a plate!

I have also pointed out that the packed lunches are not allowed to include chocolate or crisps, whereas the school dinner puddings include chocolate cake and cookies and custard. If I do ever give her a packed lunch I will make it very very boring.