"school dinner" dilemma

[jeangenie]

DD1 started at reception on Wednesday. She has just done half days so far but starts doing full days tomorrow. I have been intending to sign her up for "school dinners" (why are they called "dinner" when they are at lunch time?)
Anyway, she is a fussy eater and I thought maybe if she goes for them and sees her peers eating she might try some new things. However she has always been adamant she wants to bring a packed lunch. I had said to her we would try the SDs for a week and see how she got on. She was ambivalent to say the least. Again this morning she has said she doesn't want SDs. We looked through the weekly menu planner and to be honest there is nothing there I think she'd go for.
My other concern is that her "best friend" is doing packed lunches (although I haven't told her this yet) and the packed lunch kids eat separately from the SD kids so she might be upset at that. Also it is a very big school (650 pupils) and I imagine that the dinner hall is manic so she could well be very phased by that.
What should I do? obviously the SD option is 1)easiest for me 2)probably good for her as she's end up socialising with some other kids than her BF and might extend her food repertoire BUT I don't want her to be traumatised or end up not eating anything in the middle of the day.
anyone got any advice or gone through similar ?

Ds1 is a horrendously fussy eater. When he started reception, like you I hoped giving him school dinners (which look really yummy, they've definitely been JO'd! ) would extend his repertoire. So I let him have packed lunch Tuesday and Thursday, and SD Mon, Wed, Fri. I also thought this would let him mix with different groups of children.

What actually happened? Well, on the days he had school dinner he ate nothing. For half a term. The reception teacher took to sitting with him, he would make a choice of food, and sit there, sadly explaining to his teacher that he just couldn't eat anything on his plate. No improvement over half a term, after which I had a chat with his teacher, as she was really anxious about it (he is very skinny at the best of times, so doesn't have much in reserve!). The only exception was Friday, when they had fish and chips, which he wolfed down, so now he has packed lunch Mon-Thurs and SD on Friday. His best friend does the same pattern, which is nice for them.

He is still ultra fussy (now in Yr1), and on Fri he very rarely feels able to eat the pudding, but he does eat the fish which is great. I do give him a healthy(ish) packed lunch, and he eats moderately healthily (if a limited range) at home, but it just wasn't going to work at school.

god it's a nightmare isn't it

I tell you, if I ever do give her a packed lunch it will be SOOOOOOOO boring she'll fall asleep halfway through!

Our school meals have just been JOd and DS2 has them (notDS1 because he has too many awkward intolerances). But so often DS2 just has a baked potato, cheese, and peas or baked beans. I'm not sure it's worth £2, frankly, as a cheese sandwich and a piece of fruit would be as good for him. He is actually not a bad eater, but it hasn't expanded his repertoire much. So I'm very much on the fence, and tend to think that a packed lunch you know she'll eat is better than nothing from the school menu.

My 2 dd's have school dinners thru winter and then packed lunches spring/summer mainly because that's what most friends do (its a small school) and have to eat seperately with PL in winter but get to eat outside with PL in summer so I guess we get all the pros and cons at various times thruout the year ie convenient for me in winter but more expensive and hate all those stodgy puddings every day but more hassle in summer sorting out lunches and what exciting lunch can we make today to fit into a plastic box that wont leak or squidge but at least I can supervise what they eat and a little bit cheaper ( I think!)

Mine always have packed lunches. That way I can control what they eat. They aren't allowed to throw away any food so anythong not eaten comes home (half eaten yoghurts - ewwwwww!) The school dinner people often throw away half of their meal, and, I have to say, having seen what they're served, I can't say I blame them. Packed lunches are easy once you get into the swing of it, and, in my experience, children don't like variety, so you don't have to worry about that!

she is still on the SDs. However I can't figure out what she is eating, apart from the pudding as she just says (after a short pause) "pasta" every time I ask her. I am worried she is just eating puddings as according to the menu pasta isn't on every day

ARRRGH!

my 5 year old wants to ahve school dinners as 'they have puddings every day mummy'

!!!

My son now takes a packed lunch after I started working in his school as a dinner lady, and I saw how little some of the children ate. However, when he started in Reception (now in Yr 1), he had school dinners and I used to tear my hair out trying to find out what he had had for lunch... "I can't remember"; "I don't know"; "Nothing"... etc. etc. My friend gave me a good tip: Ask them what their friend they sat next to had. Then you at least get an idea of what was on the menu! Worked for me, anyway.

Why don't you just ask the school for the menu rota?
Then you know exactly what they have.

Isaulte I was just thinking that becoming a dinner lady at the school was about my best hope of finding out what she had. However that's not on the cards unfortunately. She doesn't even seem to remember WHO she sat next to, never mind what they had.

Hana - despite the puddings, she still wants packed lunch

you know what ladies, I may just cave in once this week is over

the last thing I will try is talking to her teacher tomorrow, to see if she can shed some light on it, but I doubt that she will (already has me pegged as paranoid mum I think )

We had the menu rota come out in our childrens' bookbags last week. Working in the school at lunchtime has proved that the "menu" bears absolutely no relation whatsoever to what they actually serve!

moondog, I have the menuplan, it doesn't have pasta on every day, but that's all she says she has
so either a) they do put pasta on but not on the menu or b)the girl is FIBBING and just eating the yummy puddings

I think the menu plan is set out accross the whole local authority and they do have a note on it to say they can't guarantee that what is on it will actually be served

WHY do they bother then?

my DS has autism and has many food issues he is now in year 5 school dinners has helped him no end he is trying food that he wouldn't normally have. the easy option for us would be to do packed lunch, but the dinners have helped him so much, he has started to ask for packed lunch but we are resisting...for now!

onlyjoking, that's what I was hoping would happen with DD. She is really fussy AND can also be extremely stubborn, so I am just not sure it will work, and I feel at the moment that I have no real way of monitoring

is your DS eating better at home now too? that would give us a good indication I suppose, if she did that.

maybe we should stick with to until half term

good to hear it has helped your DS so much

According to my ds he has potatoes every day for SD!! And last term all my dd had according to her was sweetcorn (alhto possible as she now hates it lol)

They never rememebr what they have for lunch, or don't know what it was - from ds 'sausauges in something I don't know' was toad in the hole!

And heaven knows what he had yesterday but 'it was in pastry and it was yummy. I ate it ALL up'

The menu lists are rarely any good to me as they only list the main option and my babes are veggie

But the teacher usually keeps an eye on them and mentions if they don't eat much (ds has hypoglaecaemia)

I like the idea of SD in the winter and picnic in the summer!

consider me unnerved then!
I just want her to eat well, and I would like to know what she eats at lunchtime, I don't think it is so odd really. I NEVER want her to leave home though

I do take your point JUT (you sound so much much more sensible and rational than me)

my DS has started to eat garlic bread, jacket potatoes, sausage rolls, cheese and crackers, these are all things he wouldn't eat at home and cos he has autism he would only eat them at school, but not at home!
with lots of work he will now eat garlic bread and jacket potatoes at home. i think he will always have problems with food but school dinners have helped no end, holidays are great to cos he will eat fresh fish on holiday, but only in lanzarote!

wow OnlyJoking - and I thought I had it hard! sounds like your ds is making moves in the right direction though (I had to laugh at the "fresh fish, but only in Lanzarote" - bet you go there every holiday now then)

JUT I know you are talking sense and I'm not normally quite so controlling. I just wish she would stop nagging me, and I guess I feel bad not just letting her have her packed lunch and sit with her buddy

(the crux of it is I don't want her spending all her time with this one friend so I am happy for them to be separated at lunchtime - as her nursery teacher picked up on her unswerving devotion to just one person as being a potential problem - but obviously DD, in her unswerving devotion mode, is quite a bit put out)

anyway, I should stop dithering about it on here and either put up with the whinging or set to with the cheese sarnies. It probably won't make too much odds either way...

i think with DS he is very rule bound and when he makes himself a rule he sticks to it, also he connects things so like fish in lanzarote. pancakes in menorca, we are off to lanzarote in 4 weeks so we will be able to fill him with fish! at home he will eat fish fingers but only if they are called chicken fingers! he states that he cannot eat fish fingers cos fish don't have fingers!