"school dinner" dilemma

[jeangenie]

DD1 started at reception on Wednesday. She has just done half days so far but starts doing full days tomorrow. I have been intending to sign her up for "school dinners" (why are they called "dinner" when they are at lunch time?)
Anyway, she is a fussy eater and I thought maybe if she goes for them and sees her peers eating she might try some new things. However she has always been adamant she wants to bring a packed lunch. I had said to her we would try the SDs for a week and see how she got on. She was ambivalent to say the least. Again this morning she has said she doesn't want SDs. We looked through the weekly menu planner and to be honest there is nothing there I think she'd go for.
My other concern is that her "best friend" is doing packed lunches (although I haven't told her this yet) and the packed lunch kids eat separately from the SD kids so she might be upset at that. Also it is a very big school (650 pupils) and I imagine that the dinner hall is manic so she could well be very phased by that.
What should I do? obviously the SD option is 1)easiest for me 2)probably good for her as she's end up socialising with some other kids than her BF and might extend her food repertoire BUT I don't want her to be traumatised or end up not eating anything in the middle of the day.
anyone got any advice or gone through similar ?

It does sound like you've got issues over control JG! This is a key part of her life, where she does start to become independent of you. You may not like her best friend, but it's her choice. I have this with DS1, who still remains joined at the hip with his best friend and they're 14!

Once they're at school it doesn't matter what happens at lunchtime - you are not there and have absolutely no control over what they eat. And don't think a packed lunch gives you that control, because they all swap their food! That nice, healthy, wholemeal sandwich you sent in will quickly be swapped for white bread and jam!

Over the years I've learned to ignore school meals. I consider my job to provide good, healthy meals at either end of the day. So I think about their 5 portions in terms of what they have at breakfast and at dinner. (Not that they always do have the 5, I'm no saint )

DS2, who started secondary school last September, initially had school dinners, which was hugely liberating for me - no having to make that packed lunch! - but has now decided he wants a packed lunch. I have agreed to this but only if he makes it himself, which he has agreed to do.

Also saves me having to fumble around for £4 in change every day! (£2 for each son)

I like her best friend just fine, never said I didn't - we have him round to play very often and spend time with him and his family outside of school too so there is no problem there
have been told by the school that she focusses just on that one child and that it would be helpful to find ways for her to socialise more, so that's what I am trying to do

she is a bit young to make her own lunch

she'll be staying on school dinners until half term

Onlyjoking, I'm glad to hear that school dinners have helped your son to eat more variety because my ds started on them this week! He also has asd and his diet has become more and more restricted lately so I thought I'd let his teachers have a go at persuading him. So far he's only eaten a couple of things (and he would eat them at home anyway)but I've got my fingers crossed that he will try a few different things soon.

Hi JUT, thanks for that, interesting that you've had a similar issue
I have been inviting other children round too, but I work 4d a week so it is a bit tricky, especially now they are at school until 3.30pm so there is very little time after school. It's a big school and we live on the furthest reach of the catchment area - it is really easy with her "BF" as he lives in the road just behind us, whereas a lot of the other kids live quite far in the other direction. It'll be a bit easier when the weather is better and we can all just go to the park after school. But I will keep on with the playdates anyway (have just arranged one for next week), and keep her on school dinners til half term anyway, just so she can mix a bit more. I spoke to her teacher about the dinners yesterday and she said that she isn't getting upset at lunchtime (which is what I was most worried about) and that if she was eating nothing the dinner ladies would report back. So I am feeling a bit more relaxed after that

now, off to get her Saturday packed lunch organised - it was the first thing on her mind this morning (after the customary whinge about having a packed lunch at school of course), in fact I see she has already got things going by putting a full pack of shortbread in her lunchbox