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Parenting

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Original poster

how did your 4/5 year old react to new baby?

17 replies

getlostdailyfail · 07/05/2016 18:49

Hi,

I'm just wondering if anyone can share how their 4/5 year old reacted to new baby? There's quite a big age gap and she's been the only one for so long, I worry she's going to struggle to adapt.
Thanks :)

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Coldtoeswarmheart · 07/05/2016 18:51

DS was great. It helped that DD bought him an enormous lego set on the day she was born, TBH.

KatyN · 07/05/2016 21:16

My son had just turned 4 when his sister was born. He is completely calm about her. He will sometimes pretend he is a baby and I have to undress him etc but that is maybe 5 minutes 3 times a week. The rest of the time he is lovely to her and takes the changes to he house routine in his stride.
I can not imagine how anyone would cope with a small age gap!!!! K

DiggersRest · 07/05/2016 21:27

Dd1 was almost 5 when dd2 was born. She has seriously been such a help to me, but it took her a good few months to get used to dd2. But dd1 was a happy only and never asked for a sibling and loved having all our attention.

Dd2 is nearly 8 months now and dd1 has really taken to her in the last 2 months and loves making her laugh. So it was a bit of a struggle to start with but it's great now.

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ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 07/05/2016 21:35

Ds1 was amazing when ds2 was born, he was 4.5. I made a real effort to make sure he didn't feel pushed put by the baby, would put ds2 in his bouncy chair and leave him when grizzling if I was on sofa with ds1 doing his school books etc. It's 6 months on and he is still brilliant with him, I can ask him to fetch things for his brother and he's off like a shot,he loves to tickle him, entertains his head end while I change a poonami. I make sure to differentiate between 'the baby' and ' but you're such a grown up boy, YOU can have popcorn while we watch a movie' type stuff. Anticipating difficulties when ds2 stays to move around nor and ds1 has to have lego on table only. They share a room so not an option to keep it all up there either,will be easier for you if you either establish best practise on these things before baby comes or if they won't have to share a room that'll be even better!!

kiki22 · 07/05/2016 22:00

Mine will be 4.5 when the baby arrives I'm quite nervous about how it will go but my mum has given me good tips she used for me when my sister was due, I never call the baby my baby I call him ds's baby so he feels that connection to his brother, I've bought a buggy board partly so DS can be in between me and the baby when we are out right in the middle of things and I have started to put the baby clothes in ds's room so he gets used to sharing he's rather disappointed that the baby won't be sleeping with him, I'm thinking of putting the travel cot in his room so the baby has a bed in there though. I've also asked DS to pick lots of things and got a pram than he will be able to push.

My gran and mum both told me its all about including the older one in everything so mummy's not having a baby we are having a baby. It helps dp and i are both the oldest of 2 so we can both tell him what it was like for us. Hope it works for me.

Coldtoeswarmheart · 07/05/2016 22:05

Afterthought - someone had been winding DS up about about changing nappies, I didn't know until he told me (angrily) that he didn't want to. I reassured him that I would never ask him to, and he was much happier then. Ask your DD if there's anything she does/ doesn't want to do?

SuffolkNWhat · 07/05/2016 22:07

DD1 was 4 when DD2 arrived and she's been fantastic with her sister. I kept her in childcare for as much as possible to help keep her in routine.

Ludwaysl · 07/05/2016 22:18

DS was 4 & 1m when DD was born. He was pretty great tbh, I involved him in everything and told him time and time again that I couldn't cope without him and how good he was. I still spent a lot of time with him and made sure I did things with him.

I wouldn't say they were especially close now they are 14 and 10, but they most certainly love each other and are happy in each other's company.

MrsJayy · 07/05/2016 22:24

Dd1 was fine and loved her sister till she started moving around then she was annoying dd1 was clingy to her dad for a while but i think thats normal thing is there is no perfect gap because we and they dont know any different.

MrsJayy · 07/05/2016 22:26

Dds are now 23 and 18 and get on great

Sirona · 07/05/2016 22:32

Ds was 5 and he got an amazingly well with the baby when they arrived. We made sure we made a big fuss of him too and everyone was great in that if they brought the baby a present he got one too. Wish they still got on as well - he's now 8 and they do nothing but fight but love each other too

OiWithThePoodlesAlready · 07/05/2016 22:37

Dd1 was 5 when dd2 was born 4 months ago. She adores her, I now take second billing on the favorite person list. Dd2 loves her too, lots of big smiles and giggles when she sees her.

I was worried about the age gap but its working out well (so far). Dd1 counts herself as one of the grown ups so she doesn't see dd2 as competition for my attention, more that I'm competition for baby's attention (if that makes sense). She was so excited to be a big sister, especially when we found out we were having another girl! The only problem we have had is that she tries to manhandle dd2 a bit but we have avoided any incidents so far.

Practically speaking it's also good because dd1 is at school all day so I get to do baby stuff with dd2 without having to worry about dd1 being bored.

Original poster

getlostdailyfail · 07/05/2016 23:31

Thanks everyone! I'm feeling comforted by all the positive stories :) she's not keen on sharing and not keen on me holding any other babies, but I think I need a strategy!

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madmother1 · 07/05/2016 23:33

Mine are 15 and 19 now and I still love the age gap. They are quite good friends 😊

babyblabber · 08/05/2016 11:16

DS was 5 when DD2 was born (DD1 was in the middle, she was 2.5). He was and still is obsessed with her. I know he had another sister so wasn't going from being an only, slightly different. But i feel at 5 he was the perfect age to really appreciate her arrival. She is 15 months now and his favourite person, he adores her and she him.

I was nearly 5 when my first sibling was born and i was the same apparently, totally in love with her and delighted with "my baby".

lalath · 08/05/2016 11:20

DS is 5 and absolutely loves new DD. He is super proud of her and very excited about every new thing she does

Metalhead · 10/05/2016 16:15

DD1 had been pestering us for a year about wanting to be a big sister like all her friends, however when confronted with the reality of colicky, refluxy, constantly screaming DD2 she very quickly changed her mind and decided she'd rather we hadn't had a baby... However, now that DD2 is over the worst at 5 months old things are improving, DD1 makes her laugh a lot by doing silly noises/dances and we are hopeful that the love between them will grow!

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