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Sharing box room with baby help:(

84 replies

Katieemilyxo · 26/04/2016 22:22

I currently share a box room with my 9 month old son its a disaster, I live at home with my parents and two brothers who both share rooms together to, iv asked for a bigger room for us both im shouted abuse at and told if I want better then to move out im only 18 I can't just move out, and it doesnt solve my solution I had to remove his cot as he has to have it up a raditor, which is always off so its not a danger also its near a plug point, I can't change to have the bed up that wall as that side links to the exit and a bed wouldn't fit there he can get himself up he gets his fingers in the radiator I dont know what to do I have no solution and if I ask for one im just shouted abuse at and told its my problem also I have to store both mine and his stuff in there clothes everything! Which I had to buy a lift up bed , for now iv put a travel cot there,to try make it harder for him to get the plug, but doesnt solve the radiator space also I have to throw myself into my bed as I cant actually walk round it is there anyway I can find something more permanent and safer for my son I feel so stuck:( im being told a massive five year wait for anywhere else to go even in my situation sorry to drag on and on any sugguestions would be grateful

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MangoMoon · 03/05/2016 23:15

Don't give him any more money.
Please.
He's not your responsibility.

I'm not sure if there's a young mum's section on MN, but there's definitely a lone parents bit where posters can hopefully help you with different avenues of support.
Perhaps you could ask for some targeted advice on there too?
(I've recently become a single mum myself, but I have over 20 years on you & don't actually have much of a clue yet myself, sorry).

I'm sure you're doing a grand job, it must be pretty overwhelming at times.
Flowers

Katieemilyxo · 04/05/2016 09:30

Yes we are together, whenever I go round his house theres never anything for him so I have to buy food for when I visit there I can't just sit and eat while he goes without but he should be getting a job just got no guts to say it ad he just says must people are age are out partying not looking after a baby atleast im still here just cba for the arguments x

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Katieemilyxo · 04/05/2016 09:31

Most people-

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MarthaCliffYouCunt · 04/05/2016 09:37

Ok. I was a teen mum too and i know it can take time to find your voice, but, you have a baby now. Youre baby has only you to stand up for it. You are its voice, its protector. Its up to you to make sure it is getting all it deserves. It is only young now but soon you will be sorting childcare, nursery places and all sorts of other things that you are going to have to be firm and stand strong about or people will walk all over you. You are going to have to find those guts and tell him he must contribute to his child's needs. Is he abusive/violent/agressive? What makes you scared to say it? Do you think it is good that you are in a relationship where you cant talk openly about finances and what is expected of him?

Katieemilyxo · 05/05/2016 13:25

He just turns everything into a argument, or makes out everything is my fault and tbh I feel it is so I just dont bother , otherwise he just starts saying he doesnt want this anymore ect if I say anything hell just leave me or start all the names he hardly has anything himself so I feel bad taking any money of any kind of him as he needs all he can get at the moment x

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conusedoratwatorsomething · 05/05/2016 13:31

Don't give him money, he sounds a bit useless which is a shame bit focus on getting yourself sorted and he can sort himself out or not you've got enough to worry about so his problems are his problems. Do you go to college or work or plan to? You can get free childcare for college I think unyil your 20 unless they don't do that anymore. You want to get yourself in a better situation for the future

Katieemilyxo · 05/05/2016 13:34

I never did very well at school as I suffered bad anxiety and struggled to go school ( wish I got it sorted) due to that I didnt try to go to college, although a job would be great as it wouldnt be as bad for me , id love to get myself a job but no one to care for my nine month old x

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MarthaCliffYouCunt · 05/05/2016 13:50

You know you dont need him. You dont have to be with him. He isnt treating you or your baby well.

I can also tell you that you will probably be entitled to childcare support if you went back to college to get your qualifications. I went back last year aged 28. Its not too late for you if you want to make a go of things for yourself. You dont need to be held back by this guy. You dont need him. I speak from experience.

conusedoratwatorsomething · 05/05/2016 14:05

You can get money for childcare from tax credits if you have a job too as long as it's at least 16 hours a week

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