Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Sharing box room with baby help:(

84 replies

Katieemilyxo · 26/04/2016 22:22

I currently share a box room with my 9 month old son its a disaster, I live at home with my parents and two brothers who both share rooms together to, iv asked for a bigger room for us both im shouted abuse at and told if I want better then to move out im only 18 I can't just move out, and it doesnt solve my solution I had to remove his cot as he has to have it up a raditor, which is always off so its not a danger also its near a plug point, I can't change to have the bed up that wall as that side links to the exit and a bed wouldn't fit there he can get himself up he gets his fingers in the radiator I dont know what to do I have no solution and if I ask for one im just shouted abuse at and told its my problem also I have to store both mine and his stuff in there clothes everything! Which I had to buy a lift up bed , for now iv put a travel cot there,to try make it harder for him to get the plug, but doesnt solve the radiator space also I have to throw myself into my bed as I cant actually walk round it is there anyway I can find something more permanent and safer for my son I feel so stuck:( im being told a massive five year wait for anywhere else to go even in my situation sorry to drag on and on any sugguestions would be grateful

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Thread gallery

GraysAnalogy · 30/04/2016 05:24

Btw in the meantime look at taking the radiators off (its quite easy) and you can get thing to plug power points and make them safe

kiki22 · 30/04/2016 11:14

You have had 9 months + pregnancy to sort something out. Your 18 not 15 you need to pull your finger out stop moaning about things that you should have been on already you decided to have a baby you need to deal with the consequences.

Stillunexpected · 30/04/2016 11:23

In your original post you said you wanted a bigger room, then you back track and say you don't expect your parents to give up their room, but do you expect your brothers to share instead? Saying you just want a solution is all very well but what realistically do you think your parents should be doing? This is their home, I'm sure they didn't anticipate having a baby in it at this stage of their lives. When you found out you were pregnant, did you think through what would happen or did you just hope it was all going to work itself out magically? Where is the baby's dad, can he help?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

WordGetsAround · 30/04/2016 11:27

sort out a childcare arrangement with your child's father, get a job and move out. You really need to step up to this parenting lark.

Iguessyourestuckwithme · 30/04/2016 11:33

You are a parent now. I don't think your parents should move people around to facilitate you having a bigger space. You knew the space you had available when you got pregnant and brought a baby into the situation. I am not a fan of cosleeping but could you cosleep?

Jellybeam · 30/04/2016 11:33

Which LA are you under OP? You should be classed as top priority on the housing register. If I were you I would go to the local children's centre and speak to an outreach worker. They could probably help you get housed quicker and put you down for a few grants so yout have all the necessities for when you move in. Good luck.

Keep updating. I was/am in a similar situation and only 5 years older than you.

MangoMoon · 30/04/2016 12:09

You're a parent now - you need to start acting like one.

As advised above, get yourself down to the CAB and get their advice on all that you are entitled to and also how to progress with moving out and future accommodation.

Wrt the current set up:

the socket is a uk standard modern one it is not dangerous if nothing is plugged in - there are internal covers contained within the live & neutral points that are only opened when a plug is put in (the top pin of the plug opens the internal covers).

It is actually more dangerous to have socket covers on than no covers at all.

A high sleeper bed will allow space for a cot & storage underneath it.

A sliding door on the bedroom is space saving.

Rather than just helplessly complaining about all that is wrong, start looking for practical solutions.

OzzieFem · 30/04/2016 12:56

Reading your first post OP. You live in a house with three bedrooms. You mother and father shared one, until he hurt his back and now sleeps downstairs on a sofa. Your two brothers share a single larger bedroom, so presumably the box room has always been your bedroom.

Now you have a baby so you have requested a larger room. Do you seriously expect two boys to fit in your boxroom, or you mother to give up her bedroom for you? Obviously you did, or you would not have requested a larger bedroom.

Your asking your parents to find a solution to a problem you created and it's a no- brainer. Your parents obviously love you or else you would be on the streets. I feel sorry for your mother, she now have a spouse. two sons, a daughter and an added GC to support, wash, clean and cook for. It is the responsibility of both the babes parents to make sure he has a safe place to sleep. What about the other GP's, what input do they have in this babes life?

Your 18, an adult, you chose to have sex and give life to a baby. Now it's time to step up and be an adult. There are many social welfare agencies out there in the UK. It's up to you to find and use them. Yes it will be hard, but that is life, unless you belong to a wealthy family.

Original poster

Katieemilyxo · 03/05/2016 12:41

I wrote this post for a solution for my box room not to told im being selfish... when I was pregnant my parents said I could bring my child into the home I didnt asume anything. I never mentioned about my brothers having my box room either? All I did was mention to my parents about how my room was dangerous and I would be constantly had ago at by my parents for letting him sleep in that space, so I asked if he could sleep in her room then as I had no other solution, I find it funny how im being spoken down to, how is letchuring me about things which dont solve the problem at all , I never said I expected my parents to give me there rooms so the comments about that are ridiculous, face what consequences? Its my baby thats having to why I wrote this post to get ideas on how I can adapt around the smaller bedroom, not to hear about how people think im being cheeky about wanting my child safe

OP posts:

MarthaCliffYouCunt · 03/05/2016 12:50

Katie. What solutions do you expect? You say you dont expect your family to swap rooms with you, yet you say your baby isnt safe in your room. So what is it you are after to change this situation?

Original poster

Katieemilyxo · 03/05/2016 12:52

Just how other mothers in small spaces have managed to fit both in the bedroom

OP posts:

Artandco · 03/05/2016 12:58

You have to move if it's that small. I live in a one bed flat with my two children and husband. But our bedroom is large enough for a big super king bed, plus bunk beds, plus storage. And we have a good size living area.
A single box room is never going to big enough for more than one person really, especially a moving baby.

Have you looked at your options for moving/ renting/ work/ childcare etc?

MarthaCliffYouCunt · 03/05/2016 12:58

Ok so why did you say youve asked for a bigger room if that isnt what you wanted?

MangoMoon · 03/05/2016 13:18

I gave you some solutions further up thread, as did many others.

Read the thread in its entirety and you will find the practical solution suggestions.

Afreshstartplease · 03/05/2016 13:22

Op I think you should look into how you can move out properly

AndNowItsSeven · 03/05/2016 13:27

If you were my dd ( my eldest is nearly 18) I absolutely would move into the box room with my dh. I would be more concerned about my grandsons safety than a large bedroom.
I do think you should see if the council will house you as homeless.

AndNowItsSeven · 03/05/2016 13:30

How about this with cot underneath.

AndNowItsSeven · 03/05/2016 13:31

It's £189 web address on photo.

Original poster

Katieemilyxo · 03/05/2016 13:43

Yes I have looked, I have filled in my housing application form and I sent it off , over the phone they told me id be put into band c, and maybe a five year wait, iv asked my mum if she will write me a letter to say shes chucking me about but refuses to, so does my father it seems they dont want me to move out, but then im still in the same situation iv spoken to my family nurse she saids theres not Much else I can do :/ and that looks like a great idea bed wise can you buy them else where like argos?

OP posts:

sparechange · 03/05/2016 13:54

You can buy covers for plug sockets for about 30p each, so why don't you go and buy some of those today as a starting point.
Then the plug issue is taken care of and it is one less thing for you to worry about.

Does the radiator have a control on the side? If so, turn it right down.
If not, get a big towel and put that over it. Get some gaffer tape and tape it to the back and sides of the radiator so your son can't pull it down.

MangoMoon · 03/05/2016 14:05

Don't it socket covers - I explained up thread why they can actually be dangerous.

Suggestions up thread were high sleeper bed (like the one just posted), and also sliding door on box room instead of standard door.

Look for clever storage solutions - look upwards rather than just floor space.

With a high sleeper you can fit a cot underneath (sticking out at a right angle if room) and a chair for reading, night feeding, night time before bed cuddles etc.

Look on sites like DIY on a budget on FB and ask people to spam you with space maximising solutions.

Abbbinob · 03/05/2016 14:17

Op I was in a similar situation, box room (which was actually a bigger room with a wall put in to make it I to two rooms and my sister was in the other half) Moving out isn't just as easy as people are saying, it's not easy to find a landlord that will rent to people on housing benefit. Everywhere we tried said no. I bought a small cot from eBay, quite a lot smaller than a normal cot but bigger than a crib.
Could you put cot bumpers on the outside of the cot (think you can get net type ones) so your baby can't get to the sockets?
talk to your health visitor /sure start centre staff they could probably help you with housing, mine did. They phoned the council a lot for me and also helped trying to find landlord who'd rent to people reciecing housing benefit

AndYourBirdCanSing · 03/05/2016 14:27

I would personally go into the box room if I was your mum to give my daughter and my grandchild a bigger, safer space! But I agree they should be writing you a letter stating a date they need you to leave.

Why do they not want you to move out?

MangoMoon · 03/05/2016 14:28

YY to surestart.

Also there are charities that may be able to help out with furniture etc.

Timetogrowup2016 · 03/05/2016 15:17

I think a lot of you are being very harsh to the op.
Op hope you find a solution soon :)

Flip

1 2 3 4