advice on stopping bf my 18 month old

[Newquay]

Any advice? Dc is 18 month old, second child so almost by default It's been very 'attachment' based - often co- sleeping (just to get some sleep) and lots of boobing up whenever. Until now it's been fine and what I did with my first dc. He's fine without boob in the 3 days he's at nursery while I work but the rest of the time he asks for it and whinges if I don't let him and claws at me if I try to get him to sleep without boob. He refuses a bottle and sippy cup with milk. I'm all for bf as long as anyone wants but I just need a break now: any advice on how to stop bf? I'm so tired (I'm often in bed with him from 2am) so I find I don't have the mental strength to say 'no' and when I've tried I give in as I just can't bear the tears/scratches. dh has offered to put him to bed but it hasn't worked in the past - dh gives up after an hour.

Well you either introduce a bedtime routine- eg bath, story, cuddle, bf, into bed, and then eventually drop the bf over a period of weeks, or you just tough it out and keep settling him then leave him in a cot to scream himself to sleep with rage because you won't give in.

Get yourself some high necked nightwear he can't get into and that you can't easily remove to strengthen your resolve. Offer the sippy cup, if he refuses he isn't thirsty, it's just a comfort feed he wants.

Unfortunately the less he sees you in the day the more likely he is to demand your attention and boobs all night, which is no help when you need to go to work.

If you have really decided your breastfeeding days are over you are probably going to have some miserable sleepless nights while your ds gets used to the idea. If he gets daddy when he wakes he won't be impressed, but it might hasten the day he sleeps through. But otherwise, letting him scream and scratch you then resentfully giving in because you are too tired not to could go on for a year or more.

My DD is still enjoying breastfeeding at 20 months but we've recently cut down to 1 or 2 feeds which are usually about 3am and then when she wakes around 6.30am. Over a period of about 2 months we've gradually dropped all the other feeds. Before this DD couldn't fall asleep without feeding and would be waking up to 10 times a night to comfort feed throughout the night. 3 things really helped us:

1. Doing the last breastfeed downstairs before going up for bath and bedtime routine
2. Getting a solid routine of bathtime, teeth brush, pyjamas on and 2 stories with DD sitting in her bed to listen
3. DH doing 3 nights in a row of the routine and then just waiting for DD to eventually fall asleep but not forcing or fighting over it.

Over time she started sleeping longer and asking for fewer night feeds. To balance out dropping the feeds we made sure to spend lots of time playing and reconnecting after work/nursery and also trying to give DD lots of attention and cuddles she that at bedtime she'd already had lots of contact and was relaxed and felt safe and secure going to sleep. Its still a work in progress but so much better than before

I stopped at 18 months but the couple of months before that was really gradual. I just stopped offering a feed except for morning and night and then she just stopped wanting it completely. So for us, gradual dropping of feeds was the key. She doesn't drink cows milk so don't worry about that, they don't need it. I put it in her porridge and she eats plenty of yogurts and cheese X

I BF my 2yr 1m son and somethings ones I think about stopping but in my head I just can't see how it would happen.

For 3 days a week I'm practically away from him all day so on the four days he's with me he's always asking for milk.

He only usually has it when he wakes up in the morning and when he wakes up after his nap though so it's manageable. If he's upset or poorly I tend to breastfeed him then too. He will ask for it at random times of the day but I tell him no and then distract him with something else.

Thanks all of you: everything you say is spot on. I think little monkey knows what I'm planning so has become even more amorous over my boobs - plus very snotty so Once he's over that then I will think again about it. I've never managed to force anything to get it done - too lazy for that - so the thought of trying plus sleep deprivation makes me v doubtful I'll manage it: I can't really bear the idea of him crying when I have the means to comfort him. Thank you all again for sharing words of experience. I'm grateful