Child on playdate has just told dd...

[eemie]

that she has a tv in her room and is allowed to watch it till 10pm (they're 8)

that bedtime stories are babyish

and that for her packed lunch she has a sandwich, a packet of crisps, two chocolate biscuits and a scotch egg

dd has to stop watching tv at the close of CBBC (7pm) goes to bed at 7.30, has stories till 8 or so, and has no tv or music in her room. She'd love to have packed lunches but I've always said that, until she eats more fruit and veg, she has to have a cooked meal. Also that when she does have packed lunches they'll be healthy.

Am I trapped in the 1950s?

DS 10 has a TV in his room, def not at bedtime and doesn't watch it up there a lot, sometime he likes to cuddle up with his sister and watch a DVD together, or he will sometimes play his playstation up there if I am watch tv downstairs....Oh what a crap mum I am NOT!!!!!!!

DD bed at 8.30 she is 7 and DS bed at 9 he is 10, tried bringing bedtime forward for DD as she isn't so good at getting up but any earlier and she is awake for ages.

Well I must be the ultimate bad parent... DS1 nearly 10, has a PS2 and and Xbox in his bedroom. A TV/DVD combo. And a stereo.

Downstairs there is a laptop, a PC, an Xbox 360 and a Wii all od whic he uses.

He has some in his room so he can play on them in peace for half an hour. DS2 and DD will not leave him alone to ever play on them. He has so many beacuse his father and I split up and he gets two sets of presents at Christmas and birthdays.

But he has limits on when he can play on them.

He also loves playing football, climbing trees, goes to kickboxing and archery every week.

He is allowed on the Xbox360 and Wii when he has finished his homeowrk and the younger ones have gone to bed. He gets half an hour. And if you've ever seen someone on a Wii then you'll know its not just sitting there clicking buttons. He works up a real sweat and is knackered by the time its finished.

He plays on his games more in the winter and plays outside more in the summer.

He also reads for half an hour every night at bedtime and builds star wars models and plays the very geeky warhammer game which involves painting your own miniature elves army and planning battle strategies.

But fuck it, he's got a TV in his bedroom so I'm obviously a really irresponsible mum and not at all intertested in encouraging him to be a well rounded person with a variety of different interests

Lovely idea greensleeves but what's got your goat today?! Snot like you too get so mad.

I am also of the 'never a tv in a bedromm' brigade. We do have one in 3 different rooms of the house tho, but all public rooms - I've got one just connected to tv/dvdPlayer, so no 'tv' as such) in utility room so I don't die of boredom ironing. We have one in sitting room and one in general room - guest-room-cum-office-cum-tv room. That's plenty. I suppose we're lucky enough to have the extra space. We got the boys a ps2 for Christmas. They got 5 games in total with it (of other rellies) - a nd most are still wrapped up - the big hit was the eye toy where they play all sorts of games, volley ball, army obstacle course, waxing(!!!) etc. It's very physical, tires them out, makes them laugh. Not at all sitting hunched over a joystick drowning in nerd-dom and losing all contact with the real world and social skills. I think game boys, play stations etc have their place. My boys enjoy playing with them, and they're useful eg wet weather days, but they'd much rather be out in the field with their mates building dens and looking for worms.

I don't agree with tv in bedroom being same as tv in playroom tho. Surely the concern is watching inappropriate things or much too long/late at night. Not likely to happen in a playroom imo

I've never had a tele in my room and I thank my mum for it. I spend enough time on the computer as it is!
Seriously though I dont think young children need televisions in bedrooms, most people have a tele in the lounge they can watch and any programmes on while they should be sleeping are unsuitable.

Great if you have 3 public rooms to put all your tellies in, but I have a livingroom/ dining room/ office combined. So DS likes to get peace and time to himself as do I when the two of them go off to watch TV upstairs together, they are only just upstairs so I know what they are watching, its not like they are in another wing of the house.

I did have a small (6inch?) black ad white television in my room when I was about 12. Was a combined Christmas and birthday present. I watched it when I went to bed. Can't really see what the problem is with televisions at that age. Obviously I suppose it depends on the child. It never interfered with my homework or my sleep. If I was tired I went to sleep. In the morning while getting dressed for school I'd maybe watch breakfast news.
I suppose the difference these days is the sheer volume and content of television programmes. By that I mean that when I was that age there were 4 channels, no rolling television and things were pretty tame.
My dd is 3 and a half and I cannot at the moment envisage her having her own television in her bedroom for a long time. There is no need.

Another crap parent here. I don't see why I have to justify myself but here goes:-

My dd has a tv/video combi, cd player and the computer in her bedroom. She only watches tv for about 1/2hr in her room at the weekends and as most things nowadays are on DVD rarely if ever uses the video part. CD player for when her friends are round and they make up silly dances. The computer is in her bedroom because (and to cut a long story short) it was originally our bedroom when ds came along and we can't move the connection without taking up carpets etc and are about to move house - hopefully to one with a study and the pc will go there).

And can I just say this thread has made me blxxdy annoyed. Jeez the assumptions are unbelievable.

I know, I realised as I was typing that it sounds very 'grand' to some, sorry. Grew up in a house with one room downstairs and 2 bedrooms, so not all airs and graces, honest. Not quite an the 2 wings or more stage yet, honest. But growing up didn't have a tv in my room and am glad I didn't.

Hmm...this is a very interesting subject. I'm very surprised at how upset posters are sounding.

My eldest boy is in a class of 18 boys, 6 girls. He did a piece for some media studies homework about tv's etc in everyones households. His own conclusion was that the 12 boys and 3 girls that had tv and pc/game systems in their rooms were all on the porky side. I can't think of a single decent reason for us to go down that road.

As a parent of quite a few different personality types, the one rule that applies to all of us in the house is that tv is something we watch together. This entails a lot of negotiation and debate. Mind you, they have hobbies that absorb their interests so tv hasn't really ever been an issue.

The fridges in bedrooms (along with all other electricals really) would worry me silly from a fire-risk point of view. Cheap electical items are one of the main causes of house fires.

I don't mind telly, I just see why on earth it is seen as a nice thing for children to have in their room.

I do see the use/value in having a 2nd tv, as in Skribble's situation, where you might just want some peace & quiet / watch a programme someone else doesn't want to. I just don't agree that it's in the kid's room. My mum had one in her bedroom and we would go up (only very occasionally tho) and lie on our bellies on her bed and watch something in peace. I don't have atv in my room now, and know I'm lucky we don't have to.

But on these childcare programmes ( I know, lots of views over this too!) eg Honey we're killing the kids, never once has it been suggested that anything good would come from a kid having a tv in their room.At 3- 10 or so it canbe controlled by a parent, but I'd worry more about teens tbh

They had Ch4 when you were 12 --- makes me feel like I really was born in the 1930s. I have fond memories of the test card...

Seriously though, I am not criticising those who make different choices. This is about sharing views, not fighting or pontificating isn't it? I choose to seriously restrict telly for my kids by omission because it is easier to police (so that means I'm confrontation shy/lazy!) Also, I find that there are so few hours in the day before and after school to fit in their interests, homework, cook meals etc. that telly would eat into hanging out/play time.

SarahJAneSmith, you are wondering why posters are getting upset and then saying that kids with TVs in their bedrooms are porky!

If all DS1 did was play games and watch DVDs, (not connected to an aeriel so no channels) then it would be a problem. But he could do that downstairs if he wanted to but as his parent I don't let him. He has rules and he sticks to them.

DS2 is nearly 3 and doesn't have a TV in his room but he can turn the pc on, connect to the internet and get on Cbeebies all on his own and he would sit on here for hours if I would let him. Again, I don't.

I think its the suggestion that by allowing them to have TVs/games in their rooms that we shove them in their rooms and let them stay up til midnight watching inappropraite programmes that is pissing me off

I don't think it makes a difference what room the television is in! We have televisions all around the house - although not in the children's bedrooms. I always know what they are watching and can't imagine it would be any different if they were watching it in their rooms.

The issue is not the television, or the location of it, but the supervision, or lack or supervision going on.

I am surprised that anyone is getting upset over telly. It's hardly the same as your kids drinking cider down the park or huffing glue with their mates is it? To me, it seems an unusual choice of thing to be defensive about. You either like having the telly on or you don't.

My son made the overweight link and I do find that interesting. I wonder how many mummies of little-ones would actually choose to go down the road of electricals at, say. 4 years old if they could see the result at 15 years old. Obviously, your milage may vary but my son's class is a fairly average representation of the age group.

Lact8 - am completely with you on this one.

Also agree that 'having a tv in the bedroom doesn't necessarily mean the child watches unlimited amounts and has no other skills/interests/activities'. Good parenting is about bringing up a happy, confident, well rounded child. How people choose to do that is up to them!! Half an hour of tv, or watching a video in the bedroom isn't the crime of the century!!

Some people's assumptions that a tv in bedroom automotically means the parent is crap and has no control over their child makes me .

Greensleeves, love the fridge idea btw!

I think it's a class ishoo myself. Nice middle-class people don't like the idea of TV in bedrooms. They think it's naff. End of.

There are all sorts of reasons why it may be bad, if parents don't supervise etc., and that is why people react with a shudder to the idea, because they associate TV's in bedrooms with kids from ASBO families. It's not necessarily a rational reaction imo. A bit like the sausage rolls in buggies thing. It's not the actual thing itself, it's the class associations.

Sorry that will probably cause a row. But I think it's true.

Well said Lact8 and mylittlestar.

Although I am cross, the "porker" comment made me laugh as my dd is very sporty and into running in a big way. The porkers in her class are the children who live 2 mins away from school and rarely use their 2 feet to get there.

I like the idea of the separate fridge but wouldn't have room in my kitchen.

It pisses me off when they go to the fridge and leave the door open (as they do).

Whoever it was who said T.V in bedroom equals bad parenting really should take it back. (Can't be arsed to see who it was.)

You could be a great, loving parent with clear values, but not stressed about the T.V issue.

You could be an emotionally abusive, excessive disciplinarian, who sees tv as the root of all evil. (please note I said COULD not suggesting you all are, these are hypothetical examples.)

Which is the bad parent?
Such extreme damning generalisations are pointless and hurtful.

My boys do not have TV's in their bedrooms. they've never asked and it's never been an issue, but we do have a separte playroom where they do have one. Also when poorly or as a 'special traet' TV is brought upstairs for watching in mummy's bed.

Where does that put me on the TV/good/bad parenting scale?

Ooooh Caligula...controversial....

IMO I don't think these opinions had anything to do with class. That's the strangest thing I've heard on MN. My very good friends who own a hotel and a very much 'upper class' (as people would say! ) think nothing of letting their dd watch a disney film in her room every now and again. That does not make them bad parents and does not make them lower class!

Good parents know how to be good parents and the way they choose to do that is entirely up to them.
End of.

Caligula, surely you're not saying I could be...working class because of my TV habits are you?

LOL Lact8. Or possibly your sausage-roll ones.

Well I'm definitely guilty of sausage roll in buggy or car. I must be true trailer trash!