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Original poster

Child on playdate has just told dd...

153 replies

eemie · 10/01/2007 16:38

that she has a tv in her room and is allowed to watch it till 10pm (they're 8)

that bedtime stories are babyish

and that for her packed lunch she has a sandwich, a packet of crisps, two chocolate biscuits and a scotch egg

dd has to stop watching tv at the close of CBBC (7pm) goes to bed at 7.30, has stories till 8 or so, and has no tv or music in her room. She'd love to have packed lunches but I've always said that, until she eats more fruit and veg, she has to have a cooked meal. Also that when she does have packed lunches they'll be healthy.

Am I trapped in the 1950s?

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Sugarmagnolia · 11/01/2007 09:42

I think good quality pizza is a great food for a party. It was the thought of chocolate spread sandwiches FOLLOWED by chocolate fingers and fairy cakes that was making me gag!

Sugarmagnolia · 11/01/2007 09:43

I agree - fridge in the bedroom is just the hight of laziness and greed. It really disgusts me in fact. ugh

choosyfloosy · 11/01/2007 09:52

VVV, absolutely with you on that one, but... just wondered where your dp was coming from? i wonder where people get the idea that tvs in bedrooms are normal and that it's 'time to get one' after a certain stage?

god that depresses me.

i remember reading an article in 'best' or something which i used to read obsessively, and it was an article about a boy's illness (epilepsy or similar) saying that it was often triggered by something on tv or made worse by long hours of watching tv. In the corner of the picture of the boy looking sad in his bedroom was... a tv and video.

Sugarm, I can see that it's perfectly possible to control these things but... at some point won't she try and push those boundaries? i tried at 11, switching on the family tv when i wasn't supposed to, and was scared out of my wits by a programme (a children's one, in fact). Isn't that more likely to happen if it's in her room, and more likely to happen at a later time of night when something really undesirable might be on?

Sorry, just trying to work this out. I know that even if ds doesn't have a tv, he'll stay over with people who do, and I would like to know what people do - do you switch it off at the wall, remove the fuse (!) - I don't know.

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evilsparklystepmom · 11/01/2007 09:53

why would anyone think of putting a fridge in their child's bedroom? mine aren't allowed any form of food or drink in their rooms bar water at night!

ds (7) does have a ps2 and a gameboy, and is allowed to use the computer but only for half an hour a day.

that's half an hour for playstation OR gameboy OR computer, not half an hour each!and tbh he goes through phases of wanting to play every day, then won't go near any of them for weeks!

Bagpuss30 · 11/01/2007 09:56

Yes, we get a fair amount of these tales from ds1's friends. ds1 and dd don't have anything much in their room bar toys (including playmobil knights ) and a cd player each, although dd has just got a v smile pocket for christmas and does play with it quietly in the morning sometimes. I have had various complaints about the contents of the dc's lunchboxes from them - dd requested a Jam sandwich because her friend has them and ds1's friend allegedly has mini gems in his for a snack, but both kids do know the importance of healthy eating and that they get what they are given .

I don't think you are trapped in the 1950s at all, I would bet that most parents don't do any of the things described on this thread, and that those that do are in a minority.

Spagblog · 11/01/2007 09:59

My 5yr old has a tv/video in her bedroom, although it has no aerial, so has to be used with her videos.
She also has a computer.

However, She barely ever uses them as she would rather play with her little brother or with us.

I don't see them being in her room as a negative thing. Our house is so small, really there is nowhere else for them to go if we want them to get out of our hair for 30mins!!!

Twiglett · 11/01/2007 10:00

TVs in children's bedrooms are shite and a sign of crap parenting

don't care what the excuse .. its not good fot them .. and its not good enough

stop it now

Twiglett · 11/01/2007 10:01

hmm that was an interesting cross-post

still, I'm not taking it back

geekgrrl · 11/01/2007 10:01

dd1 (7) does have a TV/DVD combo in her bedroom - however, all channels other than a German version of CBBC are tuned out, and she's only allowed German children's DVDs in there. I'm trying hard to expand her German a bit and to get her to hear age-appropriate language (children talking to each other in German, 'play language', that kind of thing) and this is a reasonably good way of doing it. She's only allowed an hour a day anyway.
She's also got various games machines (NDS, GameCube) because dh is obsessed and thinks the rest of the family should be too, but she is rather uninterested.

tiredemma · 11/01/2007 10:03

my ds's have tv's in their rooms. They watch dvds at the weekend on them.

I am not a crap parent. At all.

JoolsToo · 11/01/2007 10:04

nothing wrong with the 1950's

I'm not a fan of tv's in kids bedrooms - heck we don't have one in ours! Also not a fan of mobile phones for youngsters either.

Tortington · 11/01/2007 10:04

piss off and how dare you

and i am not taking that back

Twiglett · 11/01/2007 10:06

fair 'nough

its still crap

Sugarmagnolia · 11/01/2007 10:07

Choosy - the tv in DD's bedroom is not connected to the sky+ or even the main arial so only gets channels 1-5 with a lot of fuzz and is mostly used for DVDs. At the moment, once she's in bed for the night she's out for the count and I've never once caught her trying to watch it at night. Even when she can't get to sleep she knows she's to look at books and not put the telly back on and she's really very good about it. On rare occassions when I send her to her room as a punishment adn she tries to turn it on I do switch it off at the wall. In all honesty it has never caused a problem and she doesn't watch any more than if she had to watch in our room or the living room. If it does become a problem then we'll simply get rid of it.

Also, I'd be a lot more concerned about a computer or laptop (if it had internet access) in a child's room than a telly. We recently gave the kids DH's old laptop with a wireless router so they can play games but I'm adamant that it stay a "public" part of the house. At the moment it's only nick jr and cbeebies but one of these days it will be chat rooms and MSN and I want to make sure i can see what they're up to.

Glassofwine · 11/01/2007 10:08

My dd - 7 has acess to two computers in our house as do dd2(5) and ds (4) but they are not in their rooms and nor will they be untill they are much older.

DD1 has just been given dh's old ipod, which she listens to music and stories on and has some speakers in her room so everyone can 'enjoy' the music.

I would not let any of them have a tv or fgs a fridge in their rooms. On the rare occassion I have moved a tv combo thing into their room on a Saturday night as a treat, but it comes straight out again the next morning.

I agree with Twiglett - its a sign of bad parenting.

Sugarmagnolia · 11/01/2007 10:10

ok, well I'm a bad parent then - I can live with that

tiredemma · 11/01/2007 10:10

Glassofwine, can i just ask how it is a sign of bad parenting? ( not being confrontational, just want to know what im doing wrong as a parent by allowing DVD's in bedroom.)

Glassofwine · 11/01/2007 10:12

I really didn't mean to attack anyone, perhaps it wasn't the most diplomatic thing to say.

The reason I don't want my dc's having a tv in their room is that I wouldn't know what they were watching or for how long. My children would watch all day given half a chance, perhaps other children are more restrained.

I have to go now, but will pop back later.

Bozza · 11/01/2007 10:12

Ah but twig did you put a TV in your children's playroom? Because my children's playrooms are their bedrooms, well, in particular, DS's bedroom because it is bigger. Not that they will be having at TV in there any time soon.

Tortington · 11/01/2007 10:13

there is no reason why my teens cant have a telly in their room - that proposterous.

drug taking,multiple sexual partners, pissed regularly,parties, being arrested, excluded from school, pregnancy...maybe then you could call me a bad parent.

but how dare a telly in the room be an indicator of my bad parenting - thats a facile argument assuming that
its on every waking moment
and they have no other interests
and that i do not assert my authority as a parent to control its use.

tiredemma · 11/01/2007 10:16

ah I see, we can only get DVD's on our TV's in bedrooms as we didnt have the patience to tune each channel in, only childrens DVD's are allowed to be watched.

But I do agree wholeheartedly with you that access to all channels is not a good thing.

Bozza · 11/01/2007 10:16

Actually if DS had a TV in his bedroom I would probably know exactly what he was watching even if I was in the garden because he would have it blaring out like he does his music. We are always yelling at him to turn it down. He is not having one though.

SSShakeTheChi · 11/01/2007 10:19

Gave dd a ghetto blaster type thing when she was 4 and it's been a Godsend. She'll play happily in her room for hours on end with either music or an audio book to listen to (and I get some peace -bliss).

Geekgirl, I found all this listening to audio books in German (and it seems learning the entire things off by heart!) helped her German language development no end.

The good thing about those tapes is she does something else at the same time, playing with toys or these days more often, writing or drawing. She's not utterly immobile with vacant eyes the way she is if she's spends an hour in front of the TV. I'm the big anti-tv fiend so she hardly ever gets the chance these days!

FRIDGE in the bedroom?!
Another one dumbfounded by this. Would these be homes so huge, you couldn't expect the dc to make it to the kitchen when they're hungry?

tiredemma · 11/01/2007 10:24

oh and I do agree that a minifridge in the bedroom is SHIT.

choosyfloosy · 11/01/2007 10:28

thanks sugarm, that's interesting.

all i can say is that i am always shocked when i see a tv in the bedroom, and that includes for adults. it is just not 'normal' to me.

(have i ever had one in there? yes! i'm not consistent.)

custy, it's odd, i think i would actually prefer multiple sexual partners (making their own entertainment ) than tv in bedroom. which shows that for me it is a pure prejudice. clearly it's possible to control it. as a parent i am not willing to fight the number of battles i believe i would have to fight to control a tv in ds's bedroom, even now at his age 3. i would have watched 24 hours a day when i was a kid if i could have - i had no other interests at all except reading. an active, outgoing child, or dexterous and craft-focused child, could clearly quite safely have one in the bedroom because they wouldn't be that keen.

i'm finding this interesting, thanks.