Does anything change when you go back to work

[Pixienott0005]

I've been a sahm for a while but need to work to enjoy the finer things in life and take nice holidays so I'm going back to work. I'll be working 3 days, 9-5. I am so so worried my son (2) will become distant from me, prefer it at childminders and that our bond won't be as strong.

That might sound really OTT but you hear stories where kids cling on to their minders and become really attached etc. Or it may be more fun there! I know it sounds silly as I'm writing it'

Its better if he really likes your CM, is happy to see her and sometimes is so engrossed in playing he doesn't notice you've come to pick him up.

The alternative is he hates it, cries, you feel guilty and give up work (and possibly regret it years later when he's a teenager and will only grunt at you...).

Of course he won't lose his bond with you, don't worry. Dd (nearly 4) has (happily) been attending nursery since she was 1. She has really bonded with the excellent staff but her bond with her parents remains strong. When she's at nursery she wants to be there. When she's with us, she wants to be with us.

Personally I think its healthy for children to know they can be safe with other carers and that their parents are still there for them. It can also be good prep for school. The key is finding the right CM.

DD has been at nursery since she was 10 months. She loves nursery and really likes some of the carers there (to the point that she was a sad when she had to go up a room). But she still loves us. It's quite heartwarming when I arrive to pick her up and get a joyful "Mummy!" and arms thrown wide for a hug.

I have never heard stories of children clinging to minders sounds like an urban myth .

Mine loved their minders but we're always delighted to see me come get them, now however the barely gaze up from their screen time when I come in the door as they are minded at home which they absolutely love. If you are out working all day you obviously need to ensure that the time you do spend with your children matters and like everything you get out what you put in.

My 2 yo cries every time I arrive to pick her up from the CM because she is having so much fun and doesn't want to stop, but she is fine within a couple of minutes and happy to go home. It does get me down sometimes but I'd much rather that than she was clinging to me and crying in the mornings!

I went back to work 2 full days when DS was 10 months. He's nearly 2 now and still beams when I go to get him even though I know he loves it at my parents house. It won't alter your bond and having a break at work does wonders for my patience! I also like my job a lot more. Not there enough for it to really stress me out!

Ah but Terrified that sounds different, your child is just having great fun, like when you are taking them from a birthday party. If it was not for the party bags they would never leave without crying the place down. When I think of clinging I think of a distinct preference for the CM not tears over the fun having to end.