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Did any of you wish deep down you had stuck with one child?

62 replies

SquareholeRoundpeg · 18/04/2016 15:20

Hello all, I am a very happy mum to a beautiful 5 year old DS. We have been thinking about going for a second child but keep putting it off as we are enjoying life as it is and are afraid of the risk factors.

We know if we want to do it we will have to just get on with it, I am not getting any younger! However I don't want to regret it!

I was just wondering if any of you had a second child and wishes, in retrospect, you had stayed with the one?

Thanks

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
tellmemore1982 · 22/04/2016 05:46

Absolutely not. Despite the fact that I have found the transition to two to be hard by a multiple of many more than two, the fact that they have each other and will do for the rest of their lives to me is more important than any of the practical difficulties I've had.

MyLocal · 22/04/2016 05:59

No! Now age 19 the three girls that were only children from DD school that she knew well, are all horrible, narcisstic brats. They have remained PFB to their parents and their social skills with their peers are downright awful, I would never wish that on any child's future.

GreenRug · 22/04/2016 06:04

I've got 3. There are moments when they're all wanting different things, screaming ete etc when I think why did I have ANY children but all in all no, I don't regret it. I've never met anyone who said they regretted having a second but then I guess it's not something you talk about openly really is it? You'll know what's right for you op.

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bigkidsdidit · 22/04/2016 06:19

Honestly- I did for the first 18 months. It was very hard, life was easy before! We walk everywhere and do lots of activities and lots of eating out etc and taking a baby / toddler along was really hard. Really hard. I loved him so much but couldn't stop imagining what it would be like if it had stayed just ds1.

Now ds2 is nearly 3 and it has got easier in a rush! He's potty trained, he can play by himself for ten minutes, he can ride a scooter so no more buggies. And when I hear the two of them playing and guffawing away I know I was right to have another.

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 22/04/2016 06:23

Never regretted having a second - dc1 was so demanding (not in terms of tantrums or bad behaviour but in terms of insisting on my full attention every waking moment and not playing alone, always wanting me to play make believe with her) as an only / first child that as soon as DC2 could crawl and she could make him into a playmate he made my life easier! He has also always been a good sleeper, so whilst their were tricky moments (DC1 climbing onto windowsills or kitchen counters and telling me I had to stop breast feeding DC2 and get her down sticks Iin my mind) the only jealousy was of that attention seeking kind, and never spite directed at the baby.

Once DC2 was mobile 2 was always easier than one for me as they were such a little unit. I know most people don't say that, and we do have a small age gap and DC2 caught up with dc1 physically very quickly - he's big and strong and well coordinated - so he never seemed to hold her up, and by 3 and 5 they were often mistaken for twins (and still are at nearly 9 and nearly 11).

Going from 2 to 3 was a whole different story and I did have moments, even Werks, of thinking we'd made a huge mistake. Bigger gap and total non sleeping baby who became a rather feral non sleeping toddler who could climb like a chimp by 13 months old and refused to toilet train easily like the older 2 did were the main reasons :o He's lovely now he's 5 :o

I think I'd think twice about having a DC2 if your dc1 is already 5 - my dc1 was 5 when DC3 was born, and although she adores him it'smuch more a one way relationship where she "looks after" him and deigns to play with him because she's nice, and he looks up to her, rather than the pretty equal relationship/ friendship the older two with a barely 2 year gap have. I don't think a baby sibling would be a playmate for a 5 year old / a 2 year old would be a playmate for a 7 year old, so much as a plaything :o

superme3 · 29/04/2016 07:54

We have 3 kids. We had 3 under 4. Do I regret them - no.
I often wish we had more time/money/family support etc. I love seeing them interacting together and their different personalities growing. Definitely 100% glad we have more than 1.

Daisyandbabies · 29/04/2016 09:14

No, I feel like having a second is the biggest gift I could have given my first born. They're best friends and entertain each other a lot of time, which also makes it easier for me

waterrat · 29/04/2016 18:10

My mum is an only child. She said seeing me and my sister olay together gave her a real shock to see what she had missed out on.

My two are only 2 and 4 and as someone else said...The love and affection between them is amazing.

livvylongpants · 29/04/2016 18:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Husbanddoestheironing · 29/04/2016 18:28

Only when my 2 are fighting Wink

Terramirabilis · 29/04/2016 18:41

We're currently vaguely contemplating when to go for no 2. We will do it. My DH is an only child and regrets the fact as does my DM who's in the same position.

I don't think every only child regrets their status (and of course they may be looking at having siblings with rose-tinted glasses since by definition they don't really know what it's like) but I certainly know several onlies who wish they'd had siblings. It's enough to convince me (1 of 3).

GiveMyHeadPeaceffs · 29/04/2016 19:02

My ds is 10 months old and I'm 43. I've no intention of having anymore and I'm currently trying to persuade my dp to get the snipConfused
I only ever wanted one child and tbh it's for purely selfish reasons. I can afford to give one lots of things that I never had and I don't just mean material things. Plus because I had my ds at 42 I want to eventually get back to having some of the things I had pre-ds and be able to share them with him. So no, I have no issues with having an only...the poor wee sod will grow up under the full focus of my attention Wink

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