Bedtime routines for 3 year olds, wd appreciate hearing yours

[choosyfloosy]

Right! As from today I am imposing a New Order at bedtime. I've got 3 weeks on my own with dh away for work, and there is no sh*gging way I'm keeping on with the dh-style 70s-hippy-free parenting-permissive-chattering class style endless bloody bedtime finishing at 10.30. I want ds asleep at 8 and I don't care what it takes.

However, I'm also very aware that ds is now 3 and isn't the same little cutie any more - he's becoming more and more of a person all the time, and I'm not quite sure what techniques and routines are reasonable at this age. Can you tell me what you do and when?

I've only got ds so no need to adapt to other children. tIA

My kids are 5, 3 and 18m and all in bed before 7. They have a bath every other night after tea with milk. Teeth and story before bed.

I think you will have to do this gradually. If your son is used to falling asleep at 10.30pm he isn't suddenly going to fall asleep at 8pm. Does he nap in the day? Children who don't and are over tired often don't sleep as well at night.

Try moving his bedtime forward by 15 minutes every couple of nights until it gets to the time you want him in bed.

Yes, i think that gradually is the key here too.
Start with bath time, we have bath at 6.30~7pm.
Then pjs.
7ish milk and read stories downstairs.
Then 7.30 up stairs, wee, clean teeth..nappy then into bed where we chat about his day for a couple of mins then night night, see you in the morning blah blah, door close and thats it.(mine is 3 but we have done this for a couple of years now)
Try with bath time and story for the first week, then bed.
Good luck and keep the big picture in mind...be strong..may the force be with you and grit your blinking teeth...you are in for mother of all battles

We start at 7.

Every other night is bath, the nights that there is no bath it's strip wash or shower depending how grubby.

Out bath & dressed by 7.30pm, 2 episodes of Bob The Builder on Playhouse which takes us to 7.45pm. Drinks milk while watching.

Brush teeth.

Then bed, a story by either me or dh. Dd gets to 'read' by herself for 5 minutes, (I find this gives her the feeling of being a 'big girl') then I go in & turn off light. So light off by 8.

Gave up dummies on 27/12, so took in excess of 2 hours to setlle, now takes 10 minutes to fall asleep (on own)

2/3 nights a week I start at 6.30pm & in bed for 7.30pm. Same routine, just something different to watch or extra story or extra read time.

Agree that this should be done gradually.

We start at 5.30 with dinner, 6.00 bath and 6.30 story and milk. Bed at 7.00 and if he has been good another story in bed.

This routine does not vary ever and I think that it helps to make it work. DS does not ever complain about going to bed or seriously ask to be up for longer as he knows the bedtime routine is non-negotiable.

Whatever you decide to do - stick with it even if there are teething problems.

Good luck

DS1 is 2yrs 9mths, DS2 is 9 1/2 mths...

both are in bed and asleep by 7/7.15pm.

6pm Storymakers (CBeebies) on
6.20pm Tidy up toys
6.25/6.40pm Bath
6.45pm Storytime and milk for youngest
6.55-7.10pm teeth and then bed, sometimes story in bed for DS1

This routine has developed and evolved to meet the boys needs...I also echo others on gradually imposing your own routine, but good luck and I am sure you'll all benefit heaps!

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These are all brilliant, thank you. Any more?

We currently have a good routine that breaks down utterly after 8.30. ds used to be an absolutely brilliant bedtimer until about 6 months ago. We still start bath at 7, but just before Christmas he started on a huge bath avoidance programme (see threads passim). We're sort of past this, although it still takes a lot of coaxing. Then 1 story downstairs, upstairs for pjs and nappy (eventually - takes ages usually with a few sprints downstairs again - he is so strong I can barely carry/stop him, requests for the other parent etc) then 2 stories upstairs, then the fun begins... he will basically do anything to avoid us leaving him. There's been a lot of upheaval here so I do understand this but I NEED him to sleep.

He doesn't usually nap during the day any more, although we can get caught out by pushchair trips etc.

He will start pre-school on Weds. I think this will certainly make him more tired, which should eventually make bedtime easier but we need to sort out sleep for him even more IYSWIM.

what an essay - sorry!

I think you have to bear in mind that it's not going to be quick. He's had 3 years to get used to the current routine, so be strong - stick to your guns, but be prepared for setbacks.

DD is 3, but the youngest of 3 and they share a room so it's easier for us to have one bedtime. They start getting washed and undressed about 7.30/45, and are in bed by 8. Lights off until 8.30 and they can look at books until then. DD is used to it, and I can tell them to go to bed and they'll go without me taking them. DS1 was an absolute nightmare to put to bed when he was small, and I swore I'd never go through that again so bedtime when it arrives (whatever time that happens to be - later at weekends)is non negotiable.

I do think it's important to get the kids in bed asap in the evening - you need time. My BFs children are up all sorts of hours, and it would drive me potty. I can't cope without adult only slob time in the evenings!

My ds is is almost 3 and as I am on my own bedtime is strictly adhered to so I have an hour or so of me time!

6.oopm Upstairs for bath/wash, teeth and into PJ's. Into bed and then about 45 mins of me reading to him. Lights out/nightlight on then cuddles and kisses and talks about the day i.e. what he liked/didn't like.

7.15-7.30 Say goodnight with a promise to pop back in 5 mins, by which time he is 80% of the time already a sleep.

Good luck x

I have two dds 2.10 and 5.5

Tea 5.00
Half an hour of TV or playing
upstairs at 6.15, dds play together for 10 mins while I run bath/tidy up etc.
bath then 10 mins more quite play/reading etc.
7pm - toilet, teeth then stories both have three books each (10 mins for dd2 20 mins for dd1). usually asleep 7.30/7.40.

I agree with others you could put the routine inplace quite easily however monving from a 10pm bedtime to a 7.30 bedtime will probably need to be a gradual process.

choosy, my 3yr old dd doesn't want us to go when she's settled into bed either, but is much easier since we've given her a torch. we took her shopping to choose one and explained she could have it now she's old enough and that we expect her to stay in bed. it's made a huge difference.
as to routine, it's usually cbeebies, then wash/bath and story read in bed.she's usually asleep by 8

Have a 2 year old ds, our routine is very similar to others.

Tea around 5
Play and watch tv until 6ish
Then we go upstairs where I will put linen away, tidy, get bath ready. Ds plays and chills out.
Bath around 6.15-6.30
Then downstairs to sit quitely on sofa with milk and a book.
Bed anytime between 7-7.30.

Maybe you could try 9pm for bed to start with, and slowly move back day by day.
Good luck!

stumpy, last week I bought ds a pirate magic lantern, I'm hoping this will help as he certainly likes it.

Thanks again all for excellent input.

This will probaly sound harsh to some but it has worked for us as dd didn't sleep through the night until she was 2.

4.30pm to 5pm - dinner, while she is eating i put all toys away.

Untill 6pm quite toys eg books, puzzles nothing which will excite her.

6pm to 6.15pm Bathtime normally about 15mins

6.15pm to 6.30pm she goes down stairs has cuddles and read to by daddy.

6.45pm - 7pm she asks for bed, goes straight to bed has her fairy lights on if she wants and she can look at her books. Alseep by 7.30pm then goes through to 7am ish.

If she gets up before this eg between 5am and 6am i take her to the loo and she is put back in her bed, she go back to sleep until 7ish.

Supper, bath, story, bed. How hard can it be?

And god help any child who comes downstairs after lights out for anything other than a serious emergency. Vomiting, lightning strike or flooding are permissible reasons, needing a drink or water or a trip to the loo are not. I'm also unimpressed by people saying they're hungry -- they should have eaten more supper.

Actually dd2 (just 3) who is a right little madam has been stretching the boundaries by getting out of bed and faffing around in her room, generally involving trying novel combinations of clothes that she's weaselled out of her chest of drawers. I'm ignoring that, but stealth raids on the other children's bedrooms are not okay and make mummy Very Angry Indeed.

Have 3.2 yr old and 3 wk old dss. 3 wk old fits in with 3 yr old. Both in bed by 7 pm.

Tea is at 5 (whilst feed youngest). Tv then comes on until bathtime.
Run bath and prepare all bath stuff for 5:45.
Clear away all toys in lounge and warn him that I'm putting youngest in bath and it's his turn in 5 minutes (sometimes will join us immediately).
When done youngest tell 3 yr old to come and have a drink of milk. Has this in the bathroom while I undress him and pop him in the bath. He then brushes his teeth and plays whilst I finish feeding the youngest.
Then ask ds to pull the plug and he has a few minutes playing in the bubbles whilst I swaddle the youngest ready for bed.
Once he's dry and dressed I sort out the bathroom whilst ds has a last play with his bath toys.
Then we go into the lounge (downstairs bathroom) and I remind ds that he has 10 minutes special time with just me before storytime but first I'll pop db into bed.
10 minutes is usually watching tv, but sometimes a game.
Then find teddy and take him upstairs "for storytime" where ds is offered one of a choice of 3 books which he gets read twice. Then its lights out and "snuggly time".

3 yr old has challenged various parts of this routine over the last 18 months, but has learnt that it's parts don't vary when I'm doing bathtime and always (now) complies. (Though he does have more luck when dh and gps do the tea/bath/bed routine - with the consequence that he'll go to bed around an hour later and not settle well 'cause he's too tired / not calm enough to settle.)
Would agree with others about gradually nicking back 15 minutes each day until you get to the time you want (we do this when the clocks change), but install the routine from day 1 and be consistent with it and clear about what each step of the routine leads to next and that it's not up for debate.
Think it's fine for others to vary that routine if they do it, but at least he'll know exactly where he stands when it's with you. (I do ds and his new brother pretty much all the time anyway so this is as much for my own good as theirs.)

Haven't read others ... but suspect I'm about to post something very dull ...
supper at 5pm
Tidy up time - all toys away (well, most of em...)
10 mins Cbeebies on the computer with muumy whilst DH bathshis sister
by 6:30 at latest - into bath
Upstairs by 6:50, two stories in bed with milk
Asleep by 7

We find that, since DS has given up daytime nap & started preschool is SHATTERED by then (and he is not, & never has been a big sleeper) ... so I suspect you'll find your ds will sleep earlier ... although I assume you're looking to move his bedtime gradually - 15 mins a day? I think I read elsewhere (?NO Cry Sleep SOLn?) that the easiest way to introduce a bedtime routine at this age is do a visual chart with pictures showing all the bedtime 'steps' and explaining what's going to happen, then put it in clear view and talk through the steps every bedtime. Because it's written down it makes it clearer for them to follow it - its not just mymmy moving the goalposts again

We have been really consistant about bedtime routine since he was little, and it's probably the only thing he's never really played up with!!

agree with iothers about brining bedtime earlier by 15 mins per day until you get it to time you want (you have plenty of time if your DH is away for 3 weeks!)

My Ds who is also 3 goes up for a bath around 6pm (alhtough this is getting a little later as he has an older brother), plays in bath, pyjamas and a couple of stoires from me or DH (on his bed) then lights out and we sing to him until he falls asleep. He doesn't usually take very long to go to aleep - about 10 mins max I would say unless he has had a sleep in the day (I try not to let him anymore) or he is being a bit pickly in which case we stay there stoically singing until he does drop off!

Another thought- once you have gone upstairs to bath or put pyjamas on, don't go back downstairs again.

thanks so much! very dull post follows but it helps me to get it down. don't read.

because we had to get going at 7 this morning as i was due back at work, and he'd not slept til 11 the previous night, he was exhausted. This made the bathtime comically awful, he fought me every single step of the way, but without dh here i felt able to be my natural self in this situation and got through it eventually without caving in, without getting angry and with at least a token splash and toothbrushing. Then he was able to complain on the phone to daddy (in the future this will be a story downstairs) and things slowly got easier and easier - as soon as he turned on th pirate lamp he calmed down and actually ASKED for a nappy which is normally a major flashpoint. He was happy as larry with a cuddle, two stories and being left for a little read (thanks for this - he's going to protest in the future but just conked out today).

I love the idea of writing it all down and think i will do that now.

Thanks again, you don't know what it means to have a happy, semi-clean ds snoring his head off before 8.30pm - like it was in the old days 6 months ago!

My routine pretty much the same as previous posters, my DS 3 1/2 and after the bath we do not come back downstairs, we do story in bed whilst he drinks milk and chews a vitamin.

It confused him in the past to come down and then go back up again.

Preschool is fab for exhausting them, be ready for that 4pm meltdown

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Great start CF, but be aware that as he was extra tired, it may have been a one off for now...hopefully not, but don;t get to complacent just yet!

Good Luck!

Hi,ds is usually in bed by 7.30 at latest.He has tea at 5.30-6 ish then has bath with baby sister,then whilst I bf baby he plays then I get her to bed and he has his stories then toilet then bed.Hth Wrinkly.Be consistent.

My two have been in the same pattern since very small. Dinner at 5/5.30. Bath 6.30 Milk and bedtime story. ds2 is 3 and ds1 is 5 but both willingly go to bed at the same time.